CIA agent or CNA agent?

2014-09-15 13:45

Deputy Defence Minister Kebby Maphatsoe allegedly said Thuli Madonsela was working for the CIA to undermine the ANC, which begs the question: Why does he think the guy with 700 charges against him and a fire pool isn’t?

Of course, if he was serious about it, then Thuli Madonsela next needs to investigate the president for appointing a CIA agent as the Public Protector.

And don’t try to accuse Comrade Kebby of lying – it turns out it’s a parliamentary rule that you can’t tell another politician they are lying, which is the one thing they actually need to be able to do.

In fact, what we really need is a national Tell a Politician They Are Lying Day.

Honourable Maphatsoe then said the media had misquoted him. How would you misquote something like that? Did he actually say Madonsela is an agent of CNA, and they heard it wrong?

If you want to nail the media, be clever. Ask why the media gives more attention to the rats in Alexandra than they do to the actual people living there.

The media does crazy stuff all the time. I mean, Mi Casa – three people – was in line to be ANN7’s person of the year. The celebrations in Gauteng must have been fantastic.

The DA, the dorks of our political world, have revealed that after reviewing the spy tapes, they will push to have charges against Jacob Zuma reinstated. That, comrades, is this year’s most mind-numbingly predictable newsflash.

In Parliament this week, the DA said the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) should get extra lessons on the rules of Parliament. Afterwards, the EFF can give the DA lessons on being relevant.

Maybe the DA can dress the Alexandra rats in DA T-shirts so the media will pay them more attention?

That being said, of course the charges against the president should be reopened, regardless of the tapes. The tapes were famous for showing political interference against Zuma, but now he is president.

How can he have political interference against himself? Do they suspect that his own head has factions? And that isn’t a joke about the shape of his head.

The ANC deputy president himself just showed his solidarity with the working class by selling three fancy white-flanked impala for R28?million. I need someone to inform Mr Ramaphosa that I could have organised him several completely white Springboks for way less.

Between it all, we won’t let the Dalai Lama into South Africa, again. The Dalai Lama needs to get to grips with the fact that he will only get a visa if he changes his name to Dalai Gupta.

@chestermissing is the winner of the 2014 Comic’s Pen Award and is South Africa’s top political analyst puppet

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