Christmas gifts for our sportspeople

2011-12-23 11:52

Christmas presents for sports people

SOCCER
Kaizer Chiefs team manager Bobby Motaung - a CV with a golden frame to help him find a job once the well of his dream job at the “family business” dries up.

Bafana Bafana - a five minute stint on Jika-Majika for their ill-fated dance sequence at the end of their goalless Afcon qualifier against Sierra Leone.

Safa and Bafana coach Pitso Mosimane - a velvet-bound manual of “How To Interpret Rules”.

Safa vice-president Danny Jordaan - a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War to help him choose his battles better after failure to get elected into positions in Cosafa, Caf and Fifa.

Jomo Sono - A yo-yo engraved on a book titled “How To Stay Up” following his club’s fluctuation between the Absa Premiership and National First Division.

Oh! Also a gold Zobo watch (remember those your granddad wore on a chain hooked on their pants?) for being the longest serving coach in the dog-eat-dog business of soccer.

ATHLETICS
South Africa’s number one 400m hurdler LJ van Zyl - a 400-year subscription to Farmers Weekly magazine since he shelled out the better part of his winnings on a herd of cattle this year.

CRICKET
CSA CEO Gerald Majola - a box full of Kleenex tissues made of crocodile skin will sit nicely in his official luxury sedan.

He also needs a more than 10.9cm wide aluminium bat and Graham Yallop’s helmet to keep himself on the CSA crease.

The Proteas - The Incredible Hulk to administer the Heimlich maneuver every time they get that choking feeling.

The five domestic franchises - anti-venom to cure them of Cobra bites. The Cape-based franchise, holders of the T20 competition and SuperSport Series defending champions, won the 1-Cay Cup at a canter.

BOXING
Members of this fraternity would benefit immensely from books. Local world champions would enjoy “Swim with the Sharks without being eaten alive” by Harvey Mackay.

“The Mind Game” by Hector Macdonald for our lukewarm fighters.

“Self Promotion for the Creative Person”, by Lee Silber for Boxing South Africa (BSA) boss Ngconde Balfour who has been slippery since taking charge three months ago.

“Words that work” by Dr Frank Luntz for boxer Bongani Mwelase to market himself better.

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