Dashiki Dialogues: Ag man, jou ma se royal baby!

2013-07-28 14:00

OK, I’ve had it with this outrageous chatter that has swamped the airwaves and papers about a royal baby in England.

I really don’t see why any progressive people, let alone those still reeling from the scars of British colonialism, should celebrate.

We should all be alarmed at the rampant appetite for banality that defines this whole charade.

I write here as a child born into a postcolonial reality. Add that I move as a humanist republican with antimonarchist politics. It should be obvious monarchies stand as symbols of grand inequality and foster antidemocratic conservatism.

I can’t stand the idea of human beings laying claim to privilege by virtue of being born into a particular family or bloodline.

Even more so when great crimes against humanity have been committed in the name of that family. Last I checked, all men were created equal.

My abhorrence of all things royal includes kings and their ilk here at home too. It’s inflamed by news reports like the KwaZulu-Natal government spending R15?million of our tax money to renovate Zulu King Goodwill Zwelithini’s palaces.

The province’s Premier, Zweli Mkhize, recently tabled a budget of R63?million in the provincial legislature for the department of the royal household.

The picture is made grimmer when you read that one of King Zwelithini’s indunas and IFP MP Albert Mncwango have made statements like: “Poverty in the province is the government’s responsibility and not Zwelithini’s problem.”

So the king exists to enjoy privilege with no responsibility.

Then there’s AbaThembu King Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo who, in 2009, was convicted of 10 crimes – including culpable homicide, arson and kidnapping – committed on his farm between June 1995 and January 1996. According to court papers, Dalindyebo ordered that a woman and her six children be kidnapped in order to force her husband to come to him to pay fines. Three homesteads were burnt down.

As if that wasn’t enough, this “divinely ordained” leader is a national spectacle with an incredible taste for insults and marijuana, an illegal drug. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn his royal highness had just had a blunt before his recent diatribe against President Jacob Zuma.

This is a very exemplary lot.

So I’ve had it with this royal baby nonsense and if you can’t deal with it, man, jou ma se royal baby! In fact, I propose a dialogue to send all royal dashikis the way of the French King Louis XVI.

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