EFF gets on the ANC’s (scape)goat

2014-09-01 13:45

These days, if you aren’t obnoxiously absurd you simply won’t get any attention. How does the SABC fire actors who have passed matric but keep a chief operating officer who doesn’t? And we all saw team Juju shouting “pay back the money”.

Yes, the guy who tried not to pay his R16?million tax bill is demanding someone else pays back what he owes. Lucky he already had a payment agreement with the revenue service or my latex puppet head would have exploded in the hypocrisy vortex.

Now we hear Juju might have got his tax money from an illegal cigarette smuggler: “EFF Lights: burn the white with no filter.”

How Julius Malema actually makes money is unclear because the only thing I am certain he can do well – apart from some genius public speaking – is humiliate President Jacob Zuma.

This has left some white people extremely conflicted over who to hate.

The DA is completely out of the publicity loop in spite of their spy tapes victory. It is days before DA leader Helen Zille sends Mmusi Maimane to Parliament in blue overalls – although that would be very apartheidish.

Then again, the DA is trying to rename part of the N1 after an apartheid president – FW de Klerk Boulevard. This would make sense because a lot of black people have been killed on it.

Msholozi took charge and went to Russia because when the going gets tough, the tough go into short-term exile.

With Juju saying “pay back” and Public Protector Thuli Madonsela saying “pay back”, we can be certain everyone’s favourite Lesotho diplomats, the Guptas, are going to be dodging calls.

I am glad the Guptas have hooked up with Lesotho because it’s by far the largest piece of foreign-owned land in South Africa.

Wait until the ANC realises Msholozi created Juju, the Guptas and Nkandla. Opposition parties don’t need to tarnish the name of Africa’s oldest liberation movement, all they need to do is wait.

Then, Speaker Baleka Mbete said the president hadn’t been given a chance to respond on Nkandla. Baleka, your puppet credentials are truly spectacular. It’s like the way the president wants the minister of police to decide whether he must do something about Nkandla.

Huh?! You gave him his job, Comrade Fire Pool, now you think he can impartially adjudicate against you? Takalani Sesame is going to be suing our president for copyright.

So who is to blame? Because someone leaked Thuli’s letter, someone approved the Gupta Waterkloof landing and someone allowed Nkandla. We need a minister of scapegoats.

If the ANC really wants to act against the EFF, I suggest the party sets up a committee full of EFF members to adjudicate the EFF’s behaviour – the way our president handles things.

@chestermissing is the winner of the 2014 Comic’s Pen Award and is South Africa’s top puppet political analyst

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