Fashion Police at the Metro FM Music Awards

2014-03-09 10:00

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Lesley Mofokeng, Paledi Segapo and Sdu Gerasch were at last week’s Metro FM Awards. They hand out bricks and bouquets to the deserving.

Iko

Lesley: I am convinced Iko was inspired by some scarlet Macaw birds of Costa Rica. This is too much and unacceptable.

Paledi: With Iko more-is-more, Bozo the clown makeup, un-harmonious Christmas tree accessories, and now a flaming questionable hair-doo.

Was she sabotaged by a drunken, inexperienced stylist.

Sdu: I love this beautiful dress, but I don’t like the clown colours starting from the burning hair, blue eyeshadows and gold, it kills the dress and blinds my eyes.

Less is more.

Andile Gaelesiwe:

Lesley: I don’t get this dress at all, it’s matronly and matrimonial, and the hideous feathers make her look like she is about to fly.

And where is the spunk? She looks tired.

Paledi: Andile stood elegantly tall and owned the black carpet in the Rubicon floor length frock.

I think she should have kept it minimal in the accessory department though.

Sdu: Great body, lovely dress. However the feathers on the shoulders make the dress look cheap and unflattering.

As for makeup, a touch of coloured lipstick would have done her justice.

Her face is half dressed, the hairstyle looks old - overall her face is dead.

Minnie Dlamini

Lesley: Minnie showed off her beautiful body in all its glory and kept the look simple. The jury is out on whether this was awards-appropriate or should be reserved for raunchy bride at her traditional wedding.

Paledi: Stunning body, natural beauty, yet I’m left frustrated again. The mermaid silhouette is blasé and old. Every designer and stylist knows that ethno trend is so SpringSummer2011/12.

Sdu: African Princess, the colours stands out, I’m glad you’re wearing something that shows off your curves and fits perfectly.

Unathi Msengana

Lesley: Perhaps this MC Hammer jumpsuit needed to be drawn up a bit to show off Unathi’s amazing body well. No?

Paledi: Unathi looks like a vision. The fit, the cut the drop crotch pattern, everything here screams fashion forward. Sadly it doesn’t photograph nicely.

Sdu: I love Unathi to bits, but I fail to understand why did she tortured her silky smooth skin with that horrific jumpsuit…please arrest her.

Siphokazi January

Lesley: This dress tries to be everything to everyone and the execution is dismal.

There is too much of everything. And for her sins she had to carry the little rocks her shoulder.

However, I love that she left her panties at home, bold move.

Paledi: I love how this is body hugging and the flowy chiffon effect is executed.

Pity the dress almost resembles a nasty pick-a-boo situation. But still on point.

The high held up hair and white studs are winning.

Sdu: Oh em gee! Everything here is wrong, from head to toe.

Her makeup makes her look as if she stopped by the boxing ring first, had some few punches on her eyes and then made her way.

The dress is tacky and cheap…what’s up with them cotton wool balls and the doily pattern?

COUPLES

The Celes

Lesley: Nothing beats a tailored jacket on a man and she looks like a million bucks, but don’t they look like a father taking his second-time bride daughter down the aisle?

Paledi: Bheki Cele certainly knows how to power-dress. I’m totally allergic to matchy-matchy couples, but the missus here looks fashionably to-die-for.

Sdu: The Don and his wife look absolutely stunning, I love her ivory dress and the lace cape gives it that extra je ne sais quoi. Ndosi never disappoints… however the pants are a bit long.

DJ Black Coffee and Mbali

Lesley: They look well put together, can’t fault them.

The Ndebele neck brace is random but gives her ethnic chic quality. And that grey suit is on point.

Paledi: His fashion ID could be mistaken for dreary and one dimensional, but Black Coffee has a robust signature look that has traces of modern meets classic.

His lady in red looks piping hot in this peplum number, clever for a zero curves girl.

We do love the Ndebele neck brace, absolutely stunning.

Sdu: I love Mbali’s clean and natural makeup.

Her dress is simple yet elegant, I think a pair of gold shoes would have completed the look.

Black Coffee is one of the best dressed DJs in the world, but next time he needs to button up.

Mafikizolo

Lesley: Lungile Radu rocked this Skorch suit at the J&B Met last year, so this is essentially a hand me down, still Theo looks great.

Nhlanhla’s dress is puzzling. Gave me disturbing visions of Bjork in her infamous dead swan dress.

Paledi: We double nod for Theo for a suit with a great cloth, cut and fit.

Nhlanhla on the other hand left some twitter followers posting rather disturbing comments going as far as labelling her a bird.

Sdu: Theo you are on point brother as for Nhlanhla, I don’t like the ostrich you are carrying around your waist.

Koyo and Amstel

Lesley: The tassles look does nothing for me. I’ve never been a fan of tattered looks, it looks messy and untidy.

Paledi: I love how they played with monochromatic Spring Summer 2013 trend coupled with fringe. Stylish.

Sdu: Did anyone see the pitbulls that ripped apart the clothes of these two poor souls.

If so, please phone SPCA, don’t touch them, they’re very dangerous, as you can see the damage they did to the two… I hate their outfits!

The Mpisanes

Lesley: I’m sure the Mpisanes are good people and this is just a case of bad clothes happening to good people.

For millionaires they could learn so much from those with little.

Please get a stylist and learn that less is more, that’s a basic fashion lesson - and you will look like a million bucks.

Paledi: The only thing I love here is the accessory clutch bag. What’s up with the shades?

The ill fitting dress, the neck piece out of place, the watch that should not be there. The suit is just a suit. Tip: stylists and designers exist for a reason.

Sdu: Mpisanes are living proof that money will never buy you style… they are abusing it. Sunglasses at an indoor evening event? Seriously?

AKA and DaLES

Lesley: AKA’s print is overwhelming and DaLes opted for boring and safe black and white, no fashion points here.

Paledi: I mistook DaLes for AKA’s bodyguard with his boring penguin ensemble. Contrary AKA looked dapper in this ethnic-print suit, the styling is also on point.

Pity this doesn’t photograph well. It made him look like he’s in a gigantic baby-onesie.

Sdu: I think AKA stole DaLes’s bowtie, that’s why his shirt is not buttoned up… DaLes needs to polish his shoes too.

AKA’s outfit is sickening, what a waste of a great body!

METALLICS

Dineo Makhajane

Lesley: She is dipped, bathed, smothered, and painted in gold, this is vulgar, it looks amateurish and truly in bad taste, don’t get me started on the ridiculous stockings.

Paledi: I get excited when people push the envelope and look avant-garde or editorial.

An untrained fashion eye would frown at this look but I love it because it says, I’m not a copy-and-paste.

Sdu: My goodness this woman makes Sheneneh from Martin Lawrence’s sitcom look good on her bad day.

Give that young woman a box of matches to burn everything.

Sphamandla Dlamini and Sandile Ngubeni

Lesley: I don’t know what is more depressing, the revolting suits or the fact that these two are fashion designers and therefore dress unsuspecting fashion-naive souls out there. Shudder!

Paledi: Look at this foiled fashion faux pas pair... synthetic leather, shine, ill fitting... eek. Plaas japies looking cheap.

Sdu: Gentlemen, can we keep the foil for Thanksgiving… we get turkeys from Peru and they are big.

Instead of misusing the foil, rather use it for a good purpose.

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