Finding the one...

2014-01-05 14:01

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Men and women will have to kiss a lot of frogs first.

On the journey to finding the love of her life, the average woman will suffer heartbreak twice and have at least seven relationships.

According to a study of 2?000 British men and women, men will have eight relationships before finding their true love.

The study, the results of which were released this week, found that the average woman will also kiss 15 men and enjoy two long-term relationships.

The research was commissioned to mark the paperback release of author Graeme Simsion’s The Rosie Project, a novel about a man’s hunt for the perfect wife.

It suggests that before settling down, a woman will go on four disastrous dates and be stood up once.

She will also have fallen in love twice, lived with one partner and had four one-night stands.

Men, on the other hand, face being stood up twice and will have six one-night stands before meeting their ideal partner.

Before they settle down, men will enjoy eight dates with different women, as well as three blind dates, and meet three people over the internet.

In comparison, women will date seven men and go on another two dates with the men they meet online.

The study revealed that the biggest difference between men and women lies in the number of sexual partners?–?with men having 10 in their lifetime, compared with an average of seven for women.

Men will have six relationships, of which two will last more than a year, while women will have five.

Men and women both face getting cheated on once, but the average adult will also be the cheater on at least one occasion in their dating lifetime.

Researchers also found that while 94% of women believe in true love, just 88% of men feel the same way.

Simsion told the UK’s Telegraph newspaper: “All of the disaster dates, mismatched relationships and awkward one-night stands can leave many feeling like they are never going to meet their soul mate.

“But there’s an annoying yet wonderful randomness about it. All those calamities, false starts and heartbreaks, never knowing when or if or how ‘the one’ is going to appear in your life.”

Local celebrities are sceptical about the study’s findings, although The Link presenter Lerato Kganyago agrees with most of the statistics.

“My heart was broken twice. The first time he broke it, threw it on the floor, trampled on it, grated it and hit it against the wall until is was liquid.

“That was my first boyfriend,” she says.

“The second time, I got over him quickly. After that, I had learnt my lesson and matured a bit more and the rest are just like, okay. I have gone though just two to find ‘the one’.”

She disagrees that a woman will kiss 15 men, saying “that’s really high”.

As for four one-night stands? “I don’t play like that, I am not that adventurous. I will agree with that figure [six] for men. For a woman it’s too risky – guys talk and your reputation is at stake. You have a one-night stand and the whole country knows about it the next day.”

Model and personal trainer Max Mmethi, whose abs have graced the cover of Men’s Health magazine, says he’s had more than four disaster dates.

“You get disappointed because of the expectations. When you go on a date and you realise the person is not as pretty in real life as they looked in the pictures, they have no sense of style or humour and there’s no chemistry between you, it’s a painful experience.”

Mmethi has been on one blind date, which also left him disappointed.

“It is possible for men to kiss 16 women, or even more. Women tend to settle down quicker and men can be more playful, that’s why sometimes they end up with 10 sexual partners.”

Mmethi insists that women are catching up extremely fast in the number of one-night stands.

“It can’t be four, it must be six, even seven. Women have become hunters and are taking the lead. They know what they want and how to get it,” he says.

Former Miss SA Joan Ramagoshi is more philosophical.

“If anything, these figures define the strength of a woman. It doesn’t mean that women are fools or stupid, it’s just that we are patient and too accommodating and have big hearts,” she says.

But she finds the number of one-night stands for women shocking.

“Maybe because I am a conservative, married mother, but I think it’s actually shocking?– that number of one-night stands.”

Ramagoshi, who met husband Jeff Madibeng, her third boyfriend, when she was younger, disagrees that women go through seven relationships before finding “the one”.

She says: “That’s too much. I believe in dating for longer, rather than more people, before committing.”

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