Friends & Friction: No brain, no cry

2013-10-02 10:00

In politics, nothing ever happens by chance.

Ask David Icke, the British conspiracy theorist. It is all because of the conspiracy of blood relatives who have a wicked intention to rule the world.

Have you ever wondered how a man with no formal education got to rule the most powerful country in Africa? Hahaha!

You people don’t ask the right questions. Why do you think Msholozi’s lawyers will not release the spy tapes? Don’t ask what is on the tapes, rather ask what will be heard when the tapes are played backwards.

It’s something like this (to the young readers who’ve never played audio tapes, put your fingers on your nose as if you are protecting it against a bad smell, and then cover your mouth with your hand. Speak slowly, in a deep voice):

“Msholozi is related to the queen of England, which is why she welcomed him with open arms. Did you see the picture where they looked into each other’s eyes?”

[Tape is inaudible]

“Have you ever seen his eyebrows? He looks like an alien. Have you ever looked at his forehead?”


“Have you seen how he licks his lips?”

“Yes, I have.”

“What more evidence do you need that Msholozi is a shape-shifting lizard?”

“Are you saying Msholozi is not really a human being but a lizard?”


“Is he related to Queen Elizabeth II, Barack Obama and George Bush?”


“Same blood?...?All descendants of the Brotherhood of Babylon, and they have ruled the world for generations, and they plan to rule it forever. When the British handed over power [inaudible]?...?the Brotherhood controlled the Broederbond. When they saw them retreat into the laager instead of fighting to the bitter end, they changed their tack. Now they have a new strategy?...?[cellphone reception breaks].”

“I didn’t hear you, say that again.”

[Tape is inaudible]

“You’re breaking up very badly?...?What about education?”


“I am saying their strategy is to weaken education.”

“Weaken it?”

“Yes, the Brotherhood of Babylon realised an educated youth is very dangerous. They remember very well what students did in 1976. So they made sure the holiday was called ‘Youth Day’ and not ‘Student Day’ because that would have elevated education to dangerous levels. An educated South Africa is bad for the world. The country has already produced Nelson Mandela and what did he do? He was a peace maker and in their opinion that is bad for the world, which is why they made sure he is a one-term president only.”


“And you know, T-Bone’s presidency won’t last.”

“What are you talking about? T-Bone is ANC to the core.”

“Yes, but the Brotherhood is in charge. So they are going to have him recalled.”


[Tape is inaudible]

“...?talks about peace and unity among Africans.?You’re talking rubbish because T-Bone is already in his second term.”

“Trust me. He won’t finish it, so Msholozi can take over, and you will see the first thing he is going to do is cut the education system with a sharp blade and split it into two ministries, one called department of basic education or DBE, which, by the way, is the same abbreviation as department of Bantu education.”


“The next thing he will go for is business?...”


[Tape 1, Side A ends].

»?Kuzwayo is the mwalimu at Ignitive, an advertising agency

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