How not to win an election (or why Zeelah’s naar)

2014-02-03 13:14

Monday morning. The Gunners are still top of the log. I’m in showroom condition. I’ve had a calm weekend.

Ghengis and the Horde hit Jozi for The Boss. I stuck around.

I’m listening to Helen Zeelah explaining how her Vegas wedding to Mamphela Ramphele lasted less than a week.

It’s a horrid tale. Something like the story of my own marriage. Although I did make 13 years.

Even if it took me three attempts to get the marriage registered, courtesy of Home Affairs.

Zeelah’s a bit hard to follow. Like Blade Nzimande after lunch. Or Mangosuthu Buthelezi.

At any time. Tough on the ears. Tougher on the brain.

Zeelah’s a little less than emphatic. Or believable. Bluntly put, Zeelah looks like she ate razor blades for breakfast. Washed down with brake fluid.

I don’t blame her. Zeelah’s had to announce that her wedding was over before she’d even finished opening the presents.

Zeelah’s naar. Even the smattering of Gandhi quotes can’t mask her disappointment that Operation Blackface has gone south.

This is a real cockup. This is not the way to win an election. How do you hope to convince the punters you can run the country better than the Commander in Chief when you lose your presidential candidate before the election date is announced?

That’s even dumber than having confidential candidates.

Zeelah’s got her game face on. She’s trying to walk it off. Bite the bullet. Take one for the team.

Play through the pain. The choice of footballing cliche is yours.

Zeelah’s puzzling, though. This is the kinda injury that can get you stretchered off. Game-changer, all right.

Zeelah doesn’t look anywhere near as stupid as Ramphele though. Ramphele’s already had her chance to make her name dog on GuptaTV.

She’s been pretty good at it. Trying to explain how she went from Agang leader to DA confidential candidate to DA presidential candidate and back in five days.

And that she didn’t know she had to be a DA member to be its candidate to take on the Commander in Chief. And she was a lahnee at the World Bank?

Even Juju knows that to be a party’s presidential candidate you have to at least be a member. And he failed woodwork.

Just shows that education don’t make you smart.

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