If I were a rich girl...

2010-11-19 14:16

Like a sheep dressed in fake Louis Vuitton, I pretended to be a millionaire for the day. Khanyi Mbau had nothing on me!

The day of luxury was organised by BBC Knowledge as part of their marketing for the millionaire series of programmes that show us lesser mortals how the other 1% live.

8.30am: Getting ready for my chauffeur to collect me from home. I don my most expensive looking duds.
9.00am: True (yes, that’s his name) pitches up outside my house in a Mercedes-Benz to drive me to the office. He opens the door, as the neigbourhood comes out to see what’s going on.

12.30pm: After showing my face at the office, my day really begins with spa treatments at the Saxon Hotel in Johannesburg. In true millionaire’s style, it’s a half-day package which includes a manicure, a pedicure, a full body massage and a facial.

Amazing to me, as a member of the working class anyway, is that the spa was full of young women relaxing at the swimming pool. (Don’t these people work?!).

The patrons at the Saxon can smell money – or lack thereof in my case. It felt like the rich could sniff out my fake Guess bag like a pack of wolves. They checked me out from top-to-bottom. It was scary. Luckily I was quickly taken away for my treatments.

1pm: This is where the fantastic part of my day starts.

The rhythm and blues full body massage used songs with various beats to get the full effect. From head-to-toe every bit of tension was pressed out of me. It felt good. (Although if I hear the song Lean On Me again, I fear I may throw-up). I look at my feet and says: “Wow, what colour is that?” The therapist laughs: “We haven’t put anything on yet – it’s just the treatment.” I blush. The next part of the experience was getting my hair done. I preen. I could get used to this!

6pm: (Yes, my treatment at the Saxon lasted five hours!) True is waiting for me to be driven back home for a quick change before dinner at the 5-star Auberge Michel restaurant in Sandown.
7.30pm: (Yes, one-and-a-half hours later – it seems even the rich cannot do anything about traffic). We arrive at dinner.

My partner and I look at the menu and have a mild heart attack over the prices – R490 for langoustines; R350 for Senegalese Sole.

The service, however, is excellent.

For some or other odd reason we keep whispering when we talk. We realise this halfway through dinner.
9.30pm: Off to Cocoon; Sandton’s latest “it” venue. A pre-drinks venue where you can find Grey Goose Vodka, Hennessy and Moet on tap.

Midnight: I am about to turn back into a working-class bumpkin, er, I mean pumpkin, and am ready for home and bed. Home, in my humble abode. And I am glad.

»? All you need to know about being rich is on every night at 9.30pm on BBC Knowledge.


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