It’s Zuma’s party, after all

2013-11-12 10:53

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Saturday the Croc and I got to hang out in Nxamalala. Again.

We haven’t been spending lots of time there lately. Not since we did our thieves-in-the-night thing at the Commander in Chief’s hacienda this time last year. Dropping in unannounced by chopper to get an aerial snapshot of what R248 million of your tax rands can buy seemed like a good idea at the time. Clever, and all that.

Nkandla. Picture: Khaya Ngwenya/City Press

But I’m not so sure any more.

The man some now call Mzekezeke’s first inauguration gumba at Nxamalala in 2009 was bangin. Back in the heady days of the Zunami, the prebunker era.

No National Key Points ... yet. Past sins had been forgiven in that warm post-inaugural glow. The party rocked. So did the afterparty at Khulubuse’s crib.

We bathed in Glenfiddich. We gorged ourselves on freshly killed oxen. We Shook our asses. We Sung along with the bodyguards’ Zulu victory songs. We only slept when we got back to Durban. I’m not totally convinced we’ll make the cut for next June’s shindig. Not with our death-from-above tendencies, and the current wrestling match with Thuli. The Croc’s convinced we won’t. I’m hoping on the big man’s more generous side coming into play. And his sense of humour. Which he seems to have regained. Given that Mzekezeke stunt in Parliament last week. A couple of months on the road ahead of May’s voting day might help too.

Back to Saturday. We’re hanging at Ntolwane Primary School. That’s the Commander in Chief’s locale for voting. The Commander in Chief is there to check if he’s still on the voters’ roll. You know, in case Mzekezeke’s cuckooed him.

The Croc and I checked ours by SMS on the way up from Durban in the car. Turns out we’re both registered.

So the Commander in Chief’s checks if he’s on the roll, and it turns out he is. But Mzekezeke isn’t. Neither is the Commander in Chief’s daughter, Msholozi. The Commander in Chief whips out his iPhone. It’s white like mine. The bodyguards fan out and create this muscle perimeter around the boss. The Commander in Chief does his thing and keeps moving his head so we can’t lip-read.

President Jacob Zuma with wife Thobeka and daughter Msholozi at Ntolwane Primary School in Nkandla. Picture: Khaya Ngwenya/City Press

Msholozi gets Msholozi sorted. We’re off for some door-to-door. The Commander in Chief is inside people’s living rooms trying to get them to vote for him. The toyi-toyi squad that’s tagged along keep on drowning the punters out. And the Commander in Chief.

There’s a quick presser before the Commander in Chief hits the road. He’s only taking questions on voter registration. I don’t blame him. It’s his party, after all.

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