James goes to Jozi

2013-04-23 09:20

James Nxumalo, Durban’s first citizen, has a grill. A gold one.

I’ve written about it before. James also has this foundation. It’s named after him. It gives people houses and such nice things. It’s all cool by me. As long as James doesn’t use my tax rands for it.

Last week James’ spin doctor sends out this statement. James, it trumpets, is on a highly important official mission. James has gone to Jozi. James is representing the city.

At least James doesn’t have to attend Municipal Incompetence 101 alone. He’s got a full squad with him. At his shoulder is speaker and Big B impersonator Logie Naidoo. Logie became Durban’s blag king during his term as deputy mayor. Logie doesn’t miss a function.

S’bu “Manase’’ Sithole, the city (mis)-manager, is also on board.

Stanley “Ethics’’ Xulu’s part of Team Durban as well. Remember him? Ethics is the ANC councillor who got a slap on the wrist and promotion to chief whip for getting nailed for doing business with the city on the QT.

There’s also several senior municipal officials there. They carry the lahnees’ bags. And there’s several bodyguards apiece. After all, its dangerous in GP.

James and his team are studying very important things, like how to get the Red Ants to boot thousands of people out of their houses in winter, how to screw up the billing system, how to make sure the robots don’t work and the potholes don’t get filled.

You know, the kind of stuff we need to import to Durban from the city of gold.

But James and the members don’t believe in pissing away Harper’s tax rands. Not them. So they decide to visit Tshwane while up there in the Big Smog.

Those boys also know how to run a city. But not to change the street names without getting caned at court. Two for the price of one and all that.

I suppose it could have been worse. James and company could have gone to Liverpool. And come back biting like Luis Suarez.

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