Parly TV: A reflection of reality or farce?

2014-11-30 15:00

Wednesday. The Croc (City Press photographer Khaya Ngwenya) is wandering around in a state of shock. The poor bastard’s been like this since he got roped into shooting the Crown Gospel what whats on Sunday night.

The Croc’s a sensitive, creative kinda cat. The Croc loves beauty. I reckon some of the mad shit that went on in the name of fashion at the gig has damaged his brain. Particularly the muppet who rocked up in a suit covered with R35?000 in banknotes. Jesus would have loved him all right.

My own state of mind isn’t a whole lot better. I’ve developed this unhealthy addiction to the parliamentary channel.

I’ve never been a fan of reality TV – or Parliament. Generally, f**k all happens in either, so I’ve stayed away from both. Except for a short stint in the mid-1990s that helped destroy my marriage, which was nearly as lame a duck as the Commander in Chief’s (President Jacob Zuma) second term.

That’s all changed. Since the Economic Freedom Fighters members got sworn in (and at), my viewing patterns have changed.

These days, I’ve got the plenary sessions prebooked with Arsenal and Atlético fixtures, and Law and Order reruns.

So I’m eyeballing the parliamentary channel again. It’s game on. All that’s missing is a Guinness and a big fat spliff. It’s daytime, so I settle for a coffee.

Baleka Mbete’s in the chair. For a change. Mbete’s looking particularly unpleased. Mbete’s telling the House that as far as she knows, the Commander in Chief might not make it back this year for his compulsory question time. Mbete says she doesn’t know that he won’t pitch, but that’s the way it looks.

She’s been unable to get hold of him to find out, she says, because she doesn’t even know where the Commander in Chief is.

I’m baffled. I’ve just seen the Commander in Chief on TV in Pretoria hugging Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas and trying to look interested while the two of them “chatted” through one of the most awful interpreters since Thami Jantjies.

This is not on. Mbete’s the Speaker of Parliament, the ANC national chairperson, so she must get free satellite. How can Mbete be so ignorant? Unless Parliament didn’t pay. Or they got her the cheap bouquet. Or she drinks even more than I do.

It’s either that or Mbete is taking the piss out of Parliament.

Just like the opposition is accusing her and the Commander in Chief of doing by failing to turn up and take his verballing like a well-behaved head of state.

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