Playboy SA is a bit of an anticlimax

2011-06-11 12:45

Buying pornography at CNA is always a bit of a challenge, ­especially if you are joined in the queue by a Sandton mom and her two preteen offspring shopping for stationery.

So the May edition of Playboy South Africa was hidden inside a ­Financial Mail before and after I paid, and only unwrapped once I got home and locked the door.

Such a conservative bunch we South Africans are, I thought as I ­unwrapped the second local edition of Hugh Hefner’s booby mag.

Or maybe not. Because here in front of my eyes was South Africa’s first black Playmate, Tshego Seakgoe, holding up her butt in an uncomfortable pose, dressed only in low-rise leather pants.

The girl has a beautiful body and who am I to judge when she “seriously” says her dream date is a candle-lit dinner at McDonald’s?

Had the last bastion fallen, I wondered. Was Tshego the last of the first blacks?

Of course, the majority of Playboy readers buy the mag for its intellectual articles, so I couldn’t wait to see what the Rian Malans and Jacob Dlaminis of the world had contributed to this pioneering edition.

No such luck.

The closest I got to intellectual was an extract from Zakes Mda’s Sometimes there is a void: Memoirs of an outsider, preceded by six raunchy pictures of Oksana Koha, the cover girl of Playboy Latvia.

This was real clever, pragmatic layout by then editor Peter Piegl and his team. Even the horniest of readers out there would be brought back to ­real life by Mda’s gripping account of his disillusionment with Nelson Mandela, the ANC and the SABC board.

Nothing like a reality check on page 88. So what else can you expect from South Africa’s soft-porn magazine?

Not much, I’m afraid. Especially if you’re one of the minority of Playboy readers out there who actually buy the mag for reasons less noble.

Apart from Seakgoe and Koha, the only other photo shoot in the mag is of reality show star Kim Kardashian playing with her mother’s pearls.

The rest of your R45 spend was on you reading about the business of art (yawn); the “great galactic gold rush” (as if Brett Kebble hadn’t already monopolised that industry); male cosmetic surgery (which reveals that guys are very aware of their skin); and Neanderthal Love (with quotes like:

“after modern humans migrated out of Africa, they may have encountered these, now extinct, barrel-chested hominids. Did we have sex with our big-browed cousins? And if so, are they part of us still?”)

You are also treated to a column on the dangers of pornography and an eight-page biology lesson on the working of the penis.

And to those guys who actually buy the mag for the boobs, you’ll find more in the average Swazi daily than in the May edition of Playboy SA.
 

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