Political irony and Nkandla architect triumph

2014-03-31 10:00

It turns out the guy who actually has a good story to tell is the Nkandla architect, who has allegedly been paid R16?million for his trouble.

No wonder Juju is being chased for R16?million in taxes – the government needs the money for the architect.

No, comrades, there is no situation where a glorified bucket (aka fire pool, swimming bath, Lake Zuma) should cost R2?800?000. Ever. What are they putting in there, Johnnie Walker Blue?

Apparently the Public Protector doesn’t know where the president got his bond. Ma Madonsela, you know these guys called The Guptas? Look there.

The ANC can be glad she found that President Zuma didn’t lie to Parliament. He is genuinely this clueless. Obviously when he saw that he now owned a chicken run, cattle kraal, tuck shop and pool, he thought: “Wow, I’m lucky I saved the Shaik money.”

Obviously the opposition is going to pieces trying to benefit from this. The DA is acting like it appointed Thuli Madonsela, and Juju says “that criminal” should be arrested. It turns out that Bra Julius is better at woodwork than he is at sensing irony.

The Public Protector also nailed him a while back, so the EFF’s official policy on Madonsela is that she is the puppet of white capital unless she is investigating the president, then it’s Asijiki Fighter Thuli.

Juju has given President Zuma 20 working days to resign. With the current strike rate, that could be a year at least. But the fact is, anything that happens in the next few weeks will be electioneering.

Hell, I saw Helen Zille in a doek with a drievoet pot, which is literally one step short of putting on a T-shirt saying “blacks like me”.

It’s impressive to see that she has taken charge and is now doing the window dressing herself.

The ANC Youth League, of course, responded to the Nkandla report by saying they think Madonsela should resign.

So the chinas appointed undemocratically by President Zuma to head the league think South Africa’s most daring investigator should resign but the guy who spent R240?million by mistake should stay? I have no punch?line here.

I too am a puppet who makes people laugh. I should be on the national task team youth league.

The fallout from the Nkandla report will come after the elections. In fact, the real story is how Irvin Jim, Vavi wingman and chief lobola negotiator, is taking trade union Numsa on a political path to the radical left.

I like Jim. He’s like Juju without the Breitling. But he needs to make up his mind about where Numsa stands, because right now it is married to labour federation Cosatu – but it can see other people, Zuma style.

@chestermissing is a puppet political analyst

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