Poptartology: Makarena on Marikana

2013-03-30 17:33

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Not the Poptart of the Week: Rufus ‘Gay Marriage’ Lekala

“Transnet boss is not gay!” yelled a headline towards the end of another heady week on the interwebs.

In a shocking turn of events, BBC news broadcast an interview with Rufus Lekala, head of Transnet’s ports, and mistakenly identified him as Gay Marriage instead of Rufus Lekala.

Could it be it was just a mistake, the kind you see every day on news bulletins where technical errors occur? Or was the international broadcaster deliberately and cunningly defaming an African man, mocking him in full view of its 70 million-odd viewers?

Not leaving anything to chance nor irony, Transnet asked for “an explanation” after the image of the upstanding heterosexual official went viral on Facebook and on Twitter – thanks to tweets like this one posted by @DaBrownNative.

Karabo Tabane (@DaBrownNative) tweeted: “Gay Marriage? @SkyNews is high on Brics’ fears. Picture: @DaBrownNative/Twitter

I’m sure most South Africans will be able to sleep easier at night now that BBC has responded that it was just a typing error. Heaven forbid we have a gay man in charge of our harbours.

Poptart of the Week: Cyrilina Ramaposer

Although Mr Lekala was a keen contender for Poptart of the Week, he was neatly usurped on Friday by one Cyrilina Ramaposer in a spectacular interview with the blog Africa is a Country (yes, the name is ironic).

Ms Ramaposer (@missramaposer) is the satirical daughter and nemesis of ANC Deputy President Cyril Ramaphosa.

To get a clear idea of why this political poptart is worth looking out for, check out her debut single, Makarena on Marikana and bear in mind that Ramaphosa served on the board of the mine that was home to the massacre of its workers.

It’s low budget and high stakes and not entirely safe for work.


“I’ve been pouring champagne on these graves, doing the Makarena on the Marikana” sings the “Codessa godessa” in an uptempo pop rap number that pulls no punches.

In fact, Cyrilina was birthed by South African actress, poet and singer Masello Motana. Her political and satirical views are fully broken down in the Africa is a Country interview.

Click here to read the interview.

Cyrilina has decided to go solo after breaking from her former girl group, Capital Lubricants, which included Patricia Motsepe and Tokyolina Sexdolphin.

Tumble for ya

It’s not every day that South Africa produces a Tumblr of note, but Cape Town managed to put out something funny that started getting memed this week.

When Capetonians have to work more than 8 hours per day they’re like. Picture: When In Cape Town

You can find more vaguely amusing GIF humour here though I personally still prefer it when Capetonians make fun of Helen Zille.

Neither made my toes curl like this mean, nasty, rude and hilarious Tumblr called Actresses Without Teeth that uses dodgy Photoshop blackening to deglamourise Hollywood.

Old Tarts

In other, largely irrelevant, news, Michael Jackson’s moonwalk turned 30 this week and Rolling Stone had the grace to acknowledge he stole the move from James Brown.

Vladimir Tretchikoff’s The Chinese Girl sold for nearly R10 million and the painting, fondly referred to as “the Mona Lisa of kitsch” headed back home to be displayed in Stellenbosch.

In the process, it raised another old tart from obscurity. Jani Allen – she of the scandalous affair with right-winger Eugene Terreblanche, he of the “blowtorch eyes” and holey green underpants – has popped up on Twitter.

She shared her own Tretchi experience with me: “@JaniAllan He made me promise to sit for a portrait after an interview. But he took exception to my calling him ‘suburban’ and ‘tubby’.”

Readers, I was finished!

The shakedown

In fresher news, it was revealed that The Harlem Shake was not a meme that went viral, it was spread by a corporation.

Reviewers of the new Justin Timberlake album have invented the concept of the “pan-African chant”.

Hollywood’s latest bad guys are the North Koreans.

Bangalore has invented the cardboard traffic cop.

And the latest Japanese schoolgirl trend is to pretend you’re starring in the Dragon Ball anime series.

“Got cannons like Mariah”

This week, the Cape Town singer Petite Noir (@PETITE_NOIR) shared a video of himself performing live in Brussels.


“Got cannons like Mariah,” tweeted the artist, Yannick Illunga, about his raw, unplugged voice. Vanity is perfectly acceptable when it’s founded. Petite Noir is the only artist I follow on Twitter purely for being a starry-eyed fan. #TeamPetitians

The tweet reminded me that I had done a Q&A with Illunga last year before he left for London after signing a major record deal. My editor smiled politely and said he couldn’t use it because “it’s weird”.

So here it is, in case you’re interested. Weirdos.

Drop dead

Laura Mvula is an emerging British singer of Caribbean descent married to a Zambian baritone. Her last video was shot in South Africa. Her new one, That’s Alright, was released this week. Not only will it restore your sense of dignity after reading this blog. It will slay you. Dead.


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