Some more, please: When sauciness is the height of rudeness

2011-06-07 15:06

The toddler won’t eat egg. But it runs in the family. My mother and I have to have our eggs so hard that they bounce off the floor.

Which reminds me of my first weekend stay at my best friend’s house – on her parents’ chicken farm.

Eggs were definitely on the menu and I was horrified to be presented with a plate of slick, wobbling scrambled eggs.

But being well brought up, I hid it well, spied the tomato sauce and smothered it.

I suspect my friend’s mother still wonders how bad my own mother’s cooking was to have created a child whose best line of defence is lashings of sauce.

My granny used to complain that my grandfather could be given a plate of dirt and he’d never know because he put so much sauce on it.

My own husband knows better than to ask after any sort of sauce, unless it’s served with dinner. It’s not worth the recriminations. And it may very well signal the end of cooked dinners for him.

It’s the same as going to a really good restaurant, getting your food and shaking half a salt pot over it before you’ve tasted it.

It’s the height of disrespect. You might as well go into the kitchen, slap the chef and tell him he has no idea what seasoning means.

So I intend to bring up a child who never sloshes sauce over food that’s been lovingly cooked for her – unless of course there’s an emergency, like her friend’s mother who can only make burnt toast or she gets presented with a plate of food where the choices are sauce it or vomit on it.

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