The transcript: SARS boss and the drug dealer

2013-03-24 10:00

OM = Sars Commissioner Oupa Magashula

TM = Timmy Marimuthu

N = Nosipho

OM: Hi Nosipho: Who am I speaking to?

OM: (Unclear)

TM: Why don’t you answer your phone?

N: No I was busy. I was having a bath.

TM: You were having a bath?

N: Yes.

TM: A girl with no boyfriend is having a bath this part of the time?

N: (Giggles) No, uncle Timmy. No.

TM: How you doing?

N: I’m well, thanks, and you?

TM; Tell me, what degree have you got?

N: Pardon?

TM: What degree do you have?

N: I have honours and then I wrote board exam to qualify as CA, so I’m a chartered account.

TM: So you’re qualified already? Okay now, where you working now?

N: KPMG.

TM: Have you got a contract with them or are you working as an employee?

N: I’m a full-time employee.

TM: What’s your package there now?

N: R383 000 excluding bonuses.

TM: Where’s your CV?

N: I do have an electronic copy with me.

TM: Can I ask a mate of mine who is looking for some people to join Sars (SA Revenue Service)? Can I put you with a better package at Sars?

N: It depends on what I’m gonna be doing.

TM: What you wanna do? One minute.

OM: This is the commissioner of Sars, Oupa Magashula. What do you want to do?

N: Well, let me tell you what I don’t want to do. I don’t want a job where I have to do the same thing all the time.

It has to be something where, if it is the same thing, it is at different branches and dealing with different people.

At the moment I’m an adviser and consultant at KPMG.

I’m busy with Operation Clean Audit at the moment.

OM: You see, you know what we do in Sars. You can’t find better variety than in Sars.

We deal with more taxpayers than all your clients put together and multiplied by 10.

If you’re doing audits it will be a different audit all the time, you know what I mean?

Whether it’s a tax audit, a forensic audit, whatever, there are different sectors and different taxpayers all the time.

You are also doing a job that is not such an ordinary job.

At a higher purpose level you are contributing to the achievement of the aspirations of the people of this country.

We pay much better than KPMG ever will ... We are probably even more professional than KPMG.

My brother Timmy here says we can even find you a husband.

N: (Laughs)

OM: So I think you must think about it.

You’re still young by the sounds of it. You can never go wrong in coming to spend time in Sars.

You can leverage that.

When you grow up to be a very big adviser and consultant, you will know how Sars works, you will know how the laws work and you will know how the processes work in Sars.

It can only stand you in good stead, let me tell you.

And when you do it in your young days, better still. You’ll learn even more ... ne?

N: All right I’ll think about it.

OM: You’ll think about it, ne? Okay, that’s good enough.

N: You said your package was much better than KPMG. What are we looking at?

OM: Jesus. For example all our CAs come in at Grade 7. The minimum wage for Grade 7 is around 700, 720. If you perform and you get Grade 8 the package there is R1 million, or R1.2 million.

TM: (In the background) And she still wants to think about it?

OM: Timmy says you still want to think about it. I thought this was an obvious thing.

N: I will think about it.

OM: How old are you Nosipho?

N: I’m 28, turning 29 this year.

OM: You deserve now to be earning a million at that age. You should be having your own seaside apartment.

TM: (background) ... and not borrowing uncle Timmy’s car ...

OM: And not borrowing uncle Tim’s car. I hope he’s not borrowing you the expensive cars, the Bentley?

N: (Laughing) No, he’s not borrowing me his expensive cars.

OM: You still want to think about it?

N: I will. I will think about it and I’ll talk to uncle Timmy

OM: Just give me your CV in the meantime. You know our website. My email is there. But let me give it to you.

N: Okay, let me just get a pen quickly.

OM: No, no. Remember it and write it after our conversation. It’s oupa@sars.gov.za.

N: It’s quite simple.

OM: It’s very very simple.

N: I will do that. I will do that today.

OM: If you do it today I promise some people will call you Monday for a job. Then you’ll move from the end of this month, otherwise we’ll pay KPMG to let you go.

N: All right.

OM: This is aggressive now. Hold on for uncle Tim.

TM: Nosipho, when Moses was given a rod, he didn’t know what it was for. He never said to Jesus let me pray and ask why you gave me the rod.

N: (Laughs)

TM: Some things come through prayer and fasting and sowing seed. You are a young girl who deserves what she gets. I have always said to myself I want to invest in you. Here’s my investment in you.

N: Thanks ever so much uncle Timmy.

TM: You can’t be earning 300 when somebody is offering 700.

OM: (background) (mutters assent)

N: I’m gonna speak to dad about it first.

TM: Okay. You can also tell dad there are some things you speak about and some things you don’t speak about.

It’s good to say: ‘Dad, I got a job at KPMG and now Sars want me.

Some decisions, by waiting to see, you miss it.

And you can tell dad I said so too. This is an opportunity.

A God-given opportunity.

I don’t know why, but when the commissioner was talking your name came up first.

N: Yes, uncle Timmy. I understand that uncle Timmy. But, also, I can’t just leave things hanging. I’m managing a few clients at the moment.

TM: You’re managing a few clients for 300 and you are getting 700. What are you talking about?

If the guy was giving you a 10% or a 20% increase then I’d say think about it.

N: Yeah

TM: If you’re earning R10 and somebody gives you 100% more ... but if you’re getting twice the salary at a margin of that, some people are getting 12 bonuses and earning it.

Before you even go to dad, let me take the decision for you.

If I was you I’d send it and say God, open the doors, that’s all, and leave it there.

N: Okay, I hear you uncle Timmy.

TM: Bless you my girl.

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