The trouble with men

2013-08-04 10:00

We need to ask what’s behind the urge to have unprotected sex

Luthando Lukhozi


There is a disturbing trend of married men not wanting to use condoms. When married men cheat, they insist on flesh-on-flesh sex, dismissing the woman’s request to use condoms.

The revelations last week that union federation Cosatu’s general secretary, Zwelinzima Vavi, had brief, unprotected intercourse with a 26-year-old colleague while standing in her office is a case in point.

Our married sports minister, Fikile Mbalula, also chose “the old way” of eating the forbidden fruit when he was breaking his marital vows.

Not even the possibility of being infected with HIV could make then deputy president Jacob Zuma use protection when he slept with an HIV-positive woman who would go on to accuse him of rape.

Most married men who have been caught with their pants down are no ordinary Joe Soaps. They are respected and successful, and they should have known better.

So where is the problem? I think the answer lies in the male ego?.?.?.?the distorted male ego, that is.

Women can progress all they like and garner as many new rights as they have recently, but in sexual terms, they remain prey to many men. They are seen as prey who must be hunted down and “claimed” (bedded).

There is nothing as ego-boosting to many men as when they have finally “claimed” a woman.

Afterwards, the respect they have previously shown to the woman is eroded, and the threat of the woman leaving becomes less worrisome.

While most men will be happy with having bedded a woman they have long been preying on, many will only be fully satisfied if no condom was used.

Ejaculating inside a woman ensures your deposits are left inside her body and this is a big ego boost.

The reason men do not mind spending so much money on women is mostly to achieve this very end.

And for this, many respected men (like Vavi and others) are willing to pay the highest price.

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