The weird world of politics: Cold feet at altar

2013-07-28 14:00

Cold feet at altar

The ANC’s uncle-in-chief, Gwede Mantashe, can be quite merciless. On Monday, he was stern when reporting back from the ANC’s weekend lekgotla, where discussions were focused, but were without robust fireworks.

The uncle, who had starred in Dali Tambo’s People of the South the night before, lost his patience, though, when a journalist mumbled inaudibly while trying to ask him a question. “Are you getting married?” he asked the bewildered journalist, and then the uncle charged: “You’re speaking as if you’re in front of the pulpit.”

Sick soldiers

Siyahleba is a great fan of Economic Freedom Fighters chief commander Julius Malema, whose honesty defied his logic somewhat this week.

His freedom fighters, being tough guys, made the rule that they would like to see public representatives use public healthcare and education facilities so that they have a first-hand sense of what service delivery’s about.

Obviously, the chief commander has to lead by example on this, except he sheepishly admitted to Metro FM this week that, in fact, he is on medical aid.

Exercise in futility

What would we do without the SA Communist Party, which red-flags every imperialist initiative on our shores in full communist jargon. This week, the party lamented the “war games” between the SA and US armies that took place in Eastern Cape.

These “war games”, known in military speak as “joint exercises”, involve simulating instability to test if soldiers could rescue the situation. But the communists reckon these are just an exercise in spreading mayhem in the world.

The US-led imperialist forces want to “plunge many parts of the world in civil wars for the US to rescue the collapsing bourgeoisie mode of production” (sic), they said. R-i-i-i-ght.

Slow-hand Zuma strikes

Our president is a man who likes to take his time, whether he is reading a speech or applying his mind – or appointing a prosecutions head. South Africa has been without one for 18 months now, so lobby group Casac lost its nerve and took President Jacob Zuma to court.

There the president’s men said Zuma has been a bit busy. Although he’s considered “several candidates”, “real crises like at Mangaung” interfered with the initial time frames.

Siyahleba would like to point out that the ANC’s critical electoral conference has been over for seven months now, and that Zuma has survived the crisis and is free to get on with being president now.

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