The weird world of politics: Drink for your country

2013-10-27 14:00

Drink for your country

Congress of the People MP Nick Koornhof clearly loves his booze.

While his ANC colleague Malusi Gigaba was busy cutting up his official credit card in response to Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan’s call for belt-tightening, Koornhof was grumbling about the impact a total ban on liquor in government might have on the local wine industry.

“I am not happy with that. I think it’s a little bit of a kneejerk reaction,” he told Parliament’s standing committee on finance on Thursday.

You can’t separate the honourable member from his booze. Or maybe he was just being patriotic?

Script doctor

It was another bad week for Uncle Mac Maharaj, having to spin away his master’s unspinnable voice after he urged the restless folk in Gauteng not to think like Africans in Africa.

Uncle Mac’s exhortations to please stick to the script in future, rather than make these off-the-cuff gaffes, have, however, fallen on deaf ears.

Three days later in Kuruman, President Jacob Zuma told a crowd of hungry people in a semidesert area where it hasn’t rained for two years that people were hungry because they were lazy. Siyahleba wonders what that says about Africans in general.

No 1’s geography gaffe

After leaving civilised, developed Gauteng, Zuma seemed to lose his bearings like a bad African in Africa. After trying to charm a ravenous crowd (who had waited for him all day without a crumb to eat), Zuma told them how nice it was to be speaking to the people of North West.

But the community of Batlharos was in the Northern Cape. He didn’t realise his mistake until he was subtly told at the end of his speech.

Properly remorseful, Zuma used Afrikaans to express himself.

“Jirrrrrre,” he said, “how could I call this the North West?” Apparently the inclusion of the common word ‘north’ was simply too confusing.

Zuma sees no red

The headgear of the Economic Freedom Fighters has a branding crisis. At their official launch two weeks ago, Juju’s party attracted beret-hungry masses to the meeting by promising the first 5?000 attendees red berets and T-shirts.

Malema said those in red berets should be humble and serve the people. But ANC leaders tried to keep the red berets away from Zuma at the launch of a food-security project in Kuruman.

“They say the red berets are rude,” said an unhappy fighter.

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