The weird world of politics: Go get ‘em, Juju

2013-09-01 14:00

Go get ‘em, Juju

Julius Malema has some apparent cool cats in the ANC running scared.

On Monday, the ANC’s Jessie Duarte tried to tell journalists how little of a factor Malema’s Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) is in his hometown.

“In Sekhukune, we (the ANC) went and saw nothing about EFF,” she said.

She was soon corrected by one of her comrades, who whispered: “It’s Seshego.”

Her comrade-in-elections, Amos Masondo, was also at pains to explain new parties won’t have much of an impact, but still, the ANC wouldn’t underestimate.

Some journalists burst into a nervous giggle when he continued: “We deal with them as a threat. When I say deal with them, I don’t mean?.?.?.”

Rice and Coke

Journalists attending the launch of container cafes, sponsored by Coca-Cola, in the forgotten East Rand outpost of Heidelberg were surprised to bump into former US secretary of state Condoleezza Rice, who was surrounded by a host of security okes.

In what was an unusually discreet affair, Rice sneaked into the nation for the launch and was seated next to a somewhat bewildered-looking Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan.

Forget the latest spy report and the National Endowment for Democracy, Coca-Colonisation is happening right here under our noses.

Wyngaardt not Cope-ing

There is nothing as great as seeing someone who left you for better pastures making a fool of themselves in public.

So it happened in Northern Cape, with former-ANC-now-Cope-dude Fred Wyngaardt, who was allegedly involved in a pub brawl with a former ANC

Youth League regional bigwig.

“We know Mr Wyngaardt as somebody of dubious character and, in actual fact, was only taught discipline when he joined the ANC,” the ANC said in a statement, adding that he “cannot be rehabilitated”.

That sounds suspiciously similar to the reasons the ANC gave for kicking out Juju way back.

Sdumo the villain

You know a faction is losing the battle when it starts dissing its rival.

Municipal union Samwu has now started improvising songs about Sdumo Dlamini and the grief he is causing Zwelinzima Vavi.

One of the songs is a remix of Julius Malema’s “Shawara wa re sokodisa” (Mr Shower is causing us problems), replacing the villain with Dlamini, who has every reason to worry.

Malema did not survive his disciplinary hearing after his supporters sang that song in public.

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