The weird world of politics: Sacred cows

2014-12-28 15:00

Sacred cows

Strange things happen in the season of love and forgiveness. On Christmas Eve, Dagga King Dalindyebo went to Nkandla to humble himself before President Jacob Zuma “as a son to a father” after calling Number?1 a “liar” and a “Zulu boy”.

Clearly Zuma, who went to court to depose the king, had won this battle.

The Dagga King gave Zuma a cow, but puzzlingly, Number?1 reciprocated by also giving the king a cow.

Is Zuma’s gesture a metaphorical carrot to lure the king away from the DA? Or maybe Number?1 just got swept up by the spirit of giving.

Lost for words

Our ruralitarian president, Jacob Zuma, takes pride in his mother tongue. And in isiZulu he often manages to say what is really on his mind, like when he made controversial remarks about gays.

This week he sent reporters scurrying to their isiZulu dictionaries when he said: “Angakayakhi indlu yokugugela.” This was a strong hint that he planned to marry again.

When asked for clarification, spokesperson Mac Maharaj’s reply was intriguing. He said Zuma was misquoted, but refused to say what he actually meant.

Juju’s fighting fit

EFF commander in chief Julius Malema is a fighter in the literal sense of the word. And he has the scars to prove it, including numerous court cases, and expulsion from the ANC and Parliament.

Siyahleba imagines how he proposed to his sweetheart, whom he married on Saturday. Probably using a line from Michael Jackson’s song The Girl Is Mine, Malema must have said: “I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Is it a coincidence that his future wife’s name is Mantwa, which means “she who fights”?

Clearly, Juju is not taking any chances with his dreams of revolution and wants to breed a generation of fighters.

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