Über-tight jeans and one tight performance

2012-07-30 10:16

For some strange reason I have this fear that my surname may die with me.

Or I’ll put it this way, according to some research I just read, if the younger of the fruits of my loins – commonly known as Small James – keeps on wearing skinny jeans, he may render his own loins incapable of producing fruit, thus ending the Harper name.

The medics say that über-tight jeans may cause nerve damage called “meralgia paresthetica’’ which is, we are told, severe pain or abnormal sensation, or both, in the front and side of your thigh.

The damage does not stop there: the jeans will also, over time, cause damage to the testicles, and ultimately Small James’ ability to procreate and continue the Harper name.

I would say good name, but my sister’s criminal tendencies and my mother’s dodgy antics have put paid to that some time ago.

It’s got zip to do with the idea of wanting grandchildren.

Truth is, my spawn are enough of a problem without them replicating: on one level all it would mean is two generations of offspring lying on my couch watching wrestling and eating me out of home.

Plus it would mean that I’d have to act like an adult, which I’m far from ready to do.

But the idea of the Harper name continuing, even if it has been rather sullied and is currently being used by freaks in skinny jeans who support the Red Scum, does rather appeal to me.

One cat who I can guarantee you’ll never see in skinny jeans is the larger than life Salim Washington, who’s back in Durban and doing his considerable thing at the University of KwaZulu-Natal Centre for Jazz and Popular Music.

The big man is back for the foreseeable future, as he puts it, so it’s game on.

Washington is this super groovy teacher, saxophonist, human being and social force who works with the centre and who has a deep impact on the local jazz scene when he’s in the city.

He’s the kind of guy whose energy rubs off and who makes sure that the centre’s presence is felt far beyond they campus gates.

Washington’s a “get them jamming on stage at the end of the gig” sort of a fellow, who gets involved in all kinds of collaborations all over the city.

On Thursday, I gave the newsdesk the slip long enough to pop into his welcome gig with Philani Ngidi, Sazi Dlamini, Neil Gonsalves, Puerto Rican drummer Efrain Toro and Demi Fernandez, a kick-ass one-hour escape from the dreaded deadline.

The set was all jazz standards, but that’s where the standard ended.

For 60 minutes it was edgy, head-meets-gut interpretations, tight but wandering, the perfect pick me up.

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