When love is a bitter pill

2015-04-19 15:00

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It was love at first sight for Joburg electrical engineer Kgomotso Morwesi* (35).

“I knew from the first day I met him that he was going to be the father of my children,” she says of her husband of 10 years, Mxolisi Sazi* (36).

The feeling was mutual for the then 17-year-old. “Mxolisi was eye candy at school and every girl wanted a piece of him. I was not a pretty girl, but he chose me over attractive girls,” says Morwesi.

She admits that the “pretty girls” gave her a hard time. “I would hear them talking behind my back that our relationship would not last. Mxolisi would break my heart and leave me for one of the beautiful girls,” she recalls.

But Morwesi’s self-confidence kept her going. “I was doing well in my studies. Looks didn’t matter to me – my brains saved me from these girls intimidating me,” she boasts.

However, the mean girls’ predictions soon came true: Sazi turned out to be a “player of note”.

“He would cheat on me with other girls and when I confronted him, he would first deny cheating on me and eventually he would admit it and apologise. My mistake was forgiving him every time he hurt me,” Morwesi says.

After the pair matriculated, they attended the same college in Johannesburg, where they studied electrical engineering. Upon completing their studies, they were employed by the same company.

A few years later, Sazi proposed. “We were on vacation in Sun City and one night in the middle of our dinner, he knelt down and asked: ‘Will you be my wife?’” She says she didn’t refuse because she knew he was the one. “I was ready to be a wife,” grins Morwesi.

Two years later, they were expecting their first child. But when Morwesi was about five months pregnant, Sazi went back to his “cheating old ways”. He would stay out the whole weekend.

“But I didn’t want to stress about his infidelity because I didn’t want to lose my daughter,” says Morwesi.

Their daughter, Elihle*, was born. Later, a son, Thando*, followed. Through it all, Sazi kept cheating. And Morwesi didn’t leave him because she held on to the hope that he would change.

“I thought that because he was a father of two he was going to change – but I was wrong,” she admits.

One Saturday, Sazi didn’t return home and she worried that something had happened to him because his phone kept going to voicemail.

The following day, Sazi confessed that he had slept at a woman’s apartment on the East Rand. As usual, he apologised and Morwesi stayed in the marriage.

But the last straw came on Sazi’s birthday last year, when Morwesi saw a text message from another woman wishing her husband happy birthday.

Morwesi got the “shock of my life” when she saw the text, which read: “Happy Birthday, my love.”

She later discovered the woman was also married.

“I confronted him and he denied it. But he admitted it after I told him about the text message. This time around, I had had enough of his infidelity. I had already made up my mind – I was ready to leave my marriage,” she says.

They told both families and the elders suggested they see a marriage counsellor. “We went to marriage counselling and he vowed that he would never break my heart again and I had to give it another try,” says Morwesi.

It’s been six months?...?and there’s no third woman in their marriage.

Morwesi says despite his serial infidelity, she had never contemplated giving Sazi a taste of his own medicine.

“I had so much on my plate. My focus is raising my children and working hard to make sure they get a brighter future,” she says.

“I was raised very well, my parents taught me to respect myself and my body.”

But she is adamant that this is Sazi’s last chance. “If he cheats on me again, he must know that he will lose me for good. I won’t give him a another chance. Enough is enough.”

*Not their real names

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