Blog: My journey to India - part 1

2010-09-28 00:00

To start off with, let's get something straight: I've never been to India so this trip will be a first for me.

And the word had barely spread before people started chipping in their two cents worth.

From good advice, dodgy requests and all round foolery - you name it, I got it.

One colleague, who will remain nameless for his sake, felt the need to ask me to bring him back a bong. I'll see what I can do dude. Really.

As for my father, well where do I start? I don't know whether the old man has ambitions of becoming a comedian or something because it's hard to take some of his so-called 'words of wisdom' seriously.

Take this for instance: "Now you must make sure that you fasten yourself tightly to those you are travelling with so you don't lose your bearings."

Yes dad.

I'm sure my fellow travellers, who I have yet to meet by the way, will take kindly to being tied to me for the entire trip.

"And when you're going to your room, look behind you all the time to make sure no one is following you. As soon as you get to the door take out your key and open the door quickly before you run inside and slam the door," the old man continued.

Guys, it's the way he said that killed me. Even he chuckled afterwards.

Now the best piece of advice came from my deputy editor.

"Take an empty suitcase and pack as little as possible because stuff is dirt cheap there," he said.

Wise words, Mr V.

So when, not if, I come back dirt poor don't be surprised to find me at your desk; cap in hand.

Those empty suitcases aren't going to fill themselves, you know, so you may need to sign off on my annual bonus three months early.

"Beware of lecherous men," quipped my political editor.

I'm young and unmarried so lecherous men may or may not be swatted away. It just depends, you know.

Listen here: if I run into one of the Gupta brothers and he happens to be intrested... hey, I'm just saying.

So it's the eve of my trip and I'm sure the question you're dying to ask me is: are you excited?

Truth be told, I really don't know.

In actual fact, I think the people around me are more excited than I am because it just hasn't sunk in for me as yet.

But then again, I'm sure their excitement has more to do with the gifts they expect upon my return than anything else.

Ya, I'd also be excited to see me go if I was them.

Actually, I'd be more excited to see me return with heavy bags in hand.

So what do I excpect to get out of this trip?

Well for one thing, I won't be surprised if my deliciously golden complexion makes way for a slightly burnt orange hue.

This is India after all and as far as I know, India is synonymous with blistering heat waves that make our city's summers seem pale in comparison.

Poverty is also inevitable.

Look here, when everyone around you is telling you what a shopper's paradise India is then you'd be a fool not to listen.

Luckily for me, I still stay with my parents because if I didn't I'd probably have to survive on bread and water for the next six months to offset my one-week splurge in India.

Lastly, but definately not least: weight gain. There I said it.

I'm going to the land of curries, people, and anybody who really know me knows that I'm a glotton of note. But worry not, because I'm certainly not.

I'll shake off that excess baggage sooner than you can say spicy hot curry, if experience is anything to go by. Don't ask!

So take my hand, fasten your seatbelt and join me on my first-time adventure to India. I'll try not to bore you. Promise.

Read Blog 2 of My journey to India

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