Sexpo? Yawn

2011-08-27 00:00

HAS sex become boring?

Has the bottom dropped out of anal intercourse?

Has the wind blown out of blow jobs?

Internet statistics show that the top Internet sites are not pornography sites — in fact porn has dropped off the top 100 listings.

So with Sexpo in Durban after a year-long absence, have South Africans also tired of the sex industry?

It’s the 10th show offering horny customers access to a sex emporium on a hypermarket scale, although for some of us the novelty of naughty “no-holds-barred” sex is ho-hum.

Before the official opening on Thursday people were queuing eagerly to get an eyeful of the “goodies.”

But Durbanites were offered a tamer version of the raunchy acts being touted in Johannesburg.

Avril Swaffield, Sexpo spokesperson, said there will always be a demand for sex-related entertainment and Sexpo fills a dual need for entertainment and education.

She said the Sexpo format offers people a chance to seek information and products in a fun and informal setting.

In Johannesburg they were luring voyeurs with promises of watching porn auditions and offering four porn celebrities for eye candy.

But the more “conservative” Durban audience were robbed of their porn attraction as the Asian babe porn star got sick before the show and cancelled.

One hates to think what porn stars come down with …

However, the audience did not seem disappointed with what was on offer — pole dancers, male strippers and sexy carnival dancers gyrating on the main stage in skimpy costumes to seductive beats.

Turn up the heat and sweat was the theme.

But as for the merchandise it was porn and more porn — DVDs marked down to R50, for example.

With free downloads on the Internet a porn DVD is no longer necessary.

You could say the porn industry is suffering the same fate as the music industry.

Sex toys were for sale in every shape and size — they rotate, buzz and vibrate and fill every orifice.

Whatever your fetish there is an accessory to match; leather and handcuffs are so yesterday — yawn.

There are lingerie options to spice up your fantasy life. Decorate your body with lace and chiffon, leopard print and satin.

Adorn your vagina Hollywood- style with Swarovski crystals — the Kardashians have done it, so of course it’s the latest thing.

A sex toy purveyor said the Sexpo is a good opportunity to reach the market because online sales have dropped off in line with the recession.

She said, “A few years ago we were selling sex toys like hot cakes; now they are not a novelty and people are making more informed decisions about what they want.”

The lone voice of morality was Richard Baird of the Brighton Road Baptist Church, who volunteered to man a stand offering Christian counselling.

As a nervous first-time attendee Baird said he was not there to judge people.

“I was studying the book of Solomon in the Bible and he gives great advice to married people on sex.

“Of course sex can be fabulous, but it should be enjoyed within certain rules and regulations.”

Sexpo regular attraction Pricasso the penile artist was not short of admirers as he painted lifelike artworks with his penis.

He mixes his own paint and uses lubricant on his “brush” to make sure it doesnt get chafed.

Jonti Searll, a tantric “sexpert”, had the audience aghast with his lessons on how to administer oral sex.

As U.S. porn “artists” are having to lower their rates to get work, and bored housewives are posting their own DIY sex videos on the Internet, the lure of alternative sex is no longer the domain of the perverted.

When everyone has seen it all, done it all and become bored, the day may come when the old missionary position has a revival and stars on nipples will be a retro-trend.

 

 

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