Sharing the love

2010-02-16 00:00

POLYGAMY remains a fascination for me. I still cannot understand how you can love more than one person.

Our esteemed president even went as far as saying he loves all his wives equally. I have to hand it to him, if he does he is a better person than I am, I do not even love my siblings equally.

I take my hat off to women who marry polygamists. While I realise that I tread here on the hallowed grounds of both culture and religion, no matter how you look at it, to me it does not make sense.

At first glance I thought polygamy was about children, in the sense that if the first wife could not bear any then the husband was justified in taking a second wife (of course in consultation with the first wife, although I wonder how many women are really involved in choosing the women their husband marries).

In my little mind, I also thought that it could be about money or financial security, with women marrying men who practise polygamy so that they could benefit financially, but interestingly polygamous marriages are also found among the poorest of the poor.

I have often wondered how I would handle a situation where I had to share my man.

I guess some of us are not cut out to be dutiful wives (hence the lack of proposals) as it would be impossible for me to understand my man suddenly deciding to take a second wife. I can hardly stomach the idea of another girlfriend. I guess I am weak as I’m the jealous type and jealousy has no place if you are in a polygamous marriage. It is said that jealousy is a luxury for fools — silly me for thinking that it is an emotion that goes with loving someone.

It would be interesting to find out how the women involved are able to accept that the one man they love and choose to marry loves not only them.

What an interesting day it would be if women were allowed to have more than one husband (polyandry). All the men would stand on their heads trying to find reasons why it would be impossible and of course religion and culture will be at the forefront of their defence.

Our honorable president has many wives and for many men it feels like a pat on the back as finally a man in power is not afraid to put it out there that he loves women, and of course he must be praised as he does not hide it, he goes one better and marries them. Some of us women may secretly wish to be one of the “first ladies” but at what price?

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