The state took my dad away: a victim’s story

2013-04-19 00:00

I HAVE been following, for a few weeks now, the story of the man who allegedly molested his son, as this lies very close to my heart.

I have also been a victim and what happened in my life after my father was convicted could only be described as a horror story. I agree with Blair Coetzee in her letter printed on April 16 — people are too quick to judge. When I was eight, my father molested me. My mother caught him, but unlike this woman who stood by her husband and wanted to help him, my mother chose to divorce my father. The mother of the boy who was allegedly molested is making the best decision, not only for her husband — she is actually thinking about her son. I wish my mother had been as courageous as her. My mother only thought of herself. I never knew my father and I hated my mother for it until the day she died.

The prosecution in our case wanted to win at all costs. They didn’t even consider what I wanted, they said what the court ordered was in my best interests. What a load of nonsense. I am sure there are many cases where the prosecution just wants another victory on its books. They don’t give a damn about the victims. They will use children to get a maximum conviction. Constantly hounding, interviewing and telling us what we should say and feel. I am sure if the 12-year-old girl mentioned in the same story had said she wanted her dad to come home, the prosecution would not have called her as a witness. Having gone through that myself, I think it is absolutely sickening.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think what the father did was wrong, if he did anything, but don’t punish the poor boy by taking his father away from him. Rather help them. Help the man to be rehabilitated and become a man his family can be proud of.

I hope the prosecution has the sense to understand, and to put the boy’s needs first, before they go looking for the maximum penalty just to have another victory on their books.

I have lived without my father my entire childhood. As an adult I can make decisions, but not having my dad when I grew up was the worst punishment I have ever had to endure. Yes my father was punished but so was I. Why did the state feel it had to punish me as well? This makes me think they don’t really care about what is best for us, but only what looks good on their books. I plead with all involved in this case not to punish the boy for the rest of his life. I hope and pray that the state will start to look at what really is best for the victims.

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