What if we win?

2010-06-11 00:00

YESTERDAY, it struck me that South Africans everywhere are asking each other: which team will you support when Bafana Bafana falls out? My boss calls it your “back-pocket team”, because while we’re obviously all cheering for our boys (if you’re not, I hope the sound of a 1 000 vuvuzelas keep you awake for a 1 000 nights), at the end of the day we’re still realists. And being ranked 83 in the world just doesn’t bode well.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be happy if Bafana score one goal. Or if Bafana win just one match. Or, if lo and behold, they make it through the first round.

But can’t we be allowed to daydream a little? If there’s one thing I know about us South Africans, it’s that we are a strange mix of realists and fantasists, because God knows, one has to be a bit of a dreamer not to go insane in our country.

But listen up, just for a minute, let’s play “if wishes were ponies … and Bafana goes through to the final”. And then …

• Katlego Mphela will score our winning goal.

• Julius Malema and Steve Hofmeyr will sing “Make the circle beega” and kiss and make up.

• We’ll get billions in foreign investments so that the government can build people toilets that are made out of the substance of their choice.

• All rapists and murderers will lock themselves up in jail and the nonviolent criminals will change their criminal ways and become volunteer caregivers in HIV/Aids orphanages.

• Solidariteit and the Congress of South African Trade Unions (Cosatu) will start looking after everyone’s interests, no matter where you lie on the pigmentation scale.

• Leon Shuster will make a watchable film.

• People will forgive Zapiro and he’ll be more sensitive to people’s feelings.

• We won’t all have irreparable hearing damage from the vuvuzelas.

• Everyone will have jobs and we’ll welcome our fellow Africans in our beautiful country and show them what South African hospitality is all about.

• The African National Congress Youth League will pipe down a little and remember the people who it’s working for.

• Helen Zille will smile.

• Madiba’s dream for a free and happy South Africa will live in everybody’s hearts forever.

Am I being silly? Of course I am. But hey, a girl can dream. And has there ever been a better time to do so? C’mon.

Play with me and finish the sentence: if wishes were ponies …

— News24.com

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