You can’t judge a book by its cover

2012-01-20 00:00

GOLFERS come from all walks of life. On a typical Saturday afternoon the competition at a golf club would have members from varying occupations and professions. There would be doctors, plumbers, teachers, salesmen, lawyers, mechanics, managers, engineers and accountants. Not only that they are young and retired, male and female and fat and skinny and teetotalers and barflies. Obviously they all have different personalities. Strange as it may seem but the personality of a person is often mirrored onto the golf course in the way a person plays the game. In other words a quiet, unassuming accountant would play a game of golf in a conservative way, not taking many risks therefore one would expect this golfer to be fairly steady, consistent and hitting lots of fairways. He hardly ever three-putts because he lags his putts instead of trying to hole them. This is a good medal player.

Conversely, an extrovert character who typically would be in sales, he would be a golfer who is erratic. He goes for his shots, spends time hacking in the rough and hardly ever plays safe but is capable of making a few birdies because he tries to hole all putts. As a result, he can easily three-putt and does. This is a good betterball player and a handy partner.

Yes, I know this is stereotyping but it is a fairly accurate observation.

However, you can’t always judge a book by its cover and occasionally the quiet unassuming type will surprise you in that he plays aggressively, he takes risks and goes for what seem almost impossible shots. On the other hand though, it’s unusual for the outgoing ultra confident type to be playing percentage-no-risk golf. It just doesn’t fit. Now the golfer reading this will know exactly what your scribe is talking about, but a non-golfer will think, what the hell is this all about?

 

From the 19th hole:

Sam was telling his mates in the golf club bar how embarrassed he was on the first hole after digging out a really huge divot with his wedge that went further than the ball. His mates laughed and teased him and added these comments:

• The divot had more square footage than the average front yard in Hong Kong.

• There were enough worms in it to start your own bait shop.

• You could paint “welcome” on it and put it on your front doorstep.

• You needed a forklift to pick it up and a carpet layer to put it back.

• In the middle of it was the bloody severed head of a mole.

• The light coming out of the hole you made was from a miner’s helmet below.

• A near-sighted horny fox may want to mount it.

• You should take it home and practice on it.

• It contained the entire hipbone of a fossilised brontosaurus.

• The environmentalists could issue you a summons because you are a danger to the environment.

• If you put it next to Charlton Heston’s toupee, you couldn’t tell the difference.

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