Dr Eve

Toys or boys?

2004-10-14 07:47

Over the past two weeks, two revealing new studies on women's sexuality have been published.

The first comes out of the Berman Centre in Chicago, where 2 000 women aged 18-55 across America were questioned about their vibrator use.

Results showed that nearly half of these women have used a vibrator, of which 55% were in relationships and 34% were single.

Of those in relationships, nearly half said they used the vibrator with their partner, in addition to using it by themselves.

The message seems clear: women just love plastic.

I wondered why - the women in this survey say they have an easier time reaching orgasm with a vibrator, are more interested in sexual activity and most importantly, are generally more sexually satisfied.

Which leads me to the second research study. Sponsored by Pfizer (which manufactures Viagra) 27 000 urban people in 29 countries were interviewed to assess their attitudes towards sexual health.

Results showed what we already know: sexual problems are extremely common.

The recommended solution for sexual woes according to the Pfizer-employed medical doctors, is teaching men to be more loving towards women.

It's not about men learning new sexual techniques, they say, but rather about enhancing their ability to be more intimate with women.

I guess now that Pfizer has given men the hard erections they believed was all that was required for satisfying sexual play, they can take a stand (so to speak!) and discount technique.

The implication is clear: women need love and intimacy to reduce their sexual difficulties - such as low sexual desire, difficulty in arousal and lack of orgasm.

Toys or boys?

Both pieces of research reflect a truth about women - we need the intimacy PLUS a partner with great technique to give us our due sexual satisfaction.

And if he's not available, informed or willing to go the distance, plastic will do it every time.

The problem is that these two facts have been kept separate and unspeakable for far too long.

Female sexuality has been layered with the prerequisites of romance, love and commitment - minimising her need for personal sexual satisfaction.

As he falls into that post-orgasmic sleep, and your heart is filled with intimacy and love but the throbbing in your genitals keeps you awake, get onto my website and order your own toys.

And more importantly, show the boy how to use the toy!

Send Dr Eve your comments

  • Dr Eve is a clinician, writer, educator, mother, lover and a person passionate about her commitment to creating unique erotic relationships for people.

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