News24

Absolutely accurate predictions for 2012

2012-01-10 07:10

So, what's this year going to hold in store for us? Well some things are pretty much as certain as the fact that December 31, 2012 will be followed immediately by January 1, 2013.

For instance, it is almost guaranteed that when the priced of petrol is reduced it will only be reduced by a heck of a lot less than it went up by the last time it was increased.
Newsreaders on TV will continue to look gloomy when they say “The price of petrol will increase by 60 cents next Wednesday" and then a month later they will look all cheerful and with big smiles on their faces say; "Good news for motorists is that the price of petrol will come down by two cents on Wednesday."

Nobody anywhere seems to have bothered to look at what the price of petrol was a few years when the crude oil price and Rand /Dollar exchange rates were exactly the same as they are today and ask the question why the petrol price is now a lot higher.

The other thing that is absolutely certain is that every time you come out of supermarket you will find that the price of food and basic household goods has gone up by a lot more than the official inflation statistics. Why do we keep believing these fairy tales?

At Easter and next Christmas another couple of thousand South Africans will die on the roads and traffic authorities will waste a lot of air appealing for motorists "to drive safely."  When are they going to realise that no-one is listening to them?

They'll rant and rave, talk about "zero tolerance" and then carry on greedily collecting money from traffic fines as though there were no tomorrow. When will they realise that  as long as municipalities rely so much  on revenue from traffic fines, road deaths will continue to reach their usual high levels because the cops are all out collecting money instead of stopping drivers from doing absolutely idiotic things on the roads.

France and Germany will continue to tap dance around  each other trying to find a solution to all the Eurozone countries that keep having to be bailed out while at the same time trying to fend off those vicious Brits who keep telling them the single currency Euro was never really sustainable. Meanwhile all that petty bickering will have a knock-on effect on countries like South Africa that rely on the Eurozone for trade.

When will politicians... oh, what the heck - it's actually pointless going down that road.

Having pulled all of its troops out of Iraq, the United States will start looking around for with someone else to fight so that they can keep their multi-billion dollar defence industry going. When will some really good investigative journalist start having a look at how much the first world economy depends on arms manufacture? Just so that we can sleep peacefully at night knowing that wars are not bad things but really good for keeping unemployment and poverty at bay.

Just like our taxi drivers who will continue to be allowed to get away with absolute murder on our roads because they contribute so much to the South African economy in terms of getting people to work on time even if they are often quite dead when they clock in. Not to mention contributing massively to the sales of motor spares, tyres, fuel, hospitals, mental asylums and undertakers.

I wonder when some really good investigative journalist will work out just how many industries in this country depend on taxi drivers behaving like Formula 1 drivers on tik and no brakes?

Towards the end of the year various ANC factions will slug it out quite violently as they promote their choice of leader, in spite of those very leaders asking them all to be cool and calm about the process.  Polokwane will seem like a nursery school outing by comparison.

When will some really good investigate journo look at just how many millions of South Africans still believe that democracy is the right to beat the shit out of anyone who doesn’t agree with you?

It is absolutely guaranteed that the vast majority of South African soccer, rugby and cricket fans will scream like banshees for coaches to be fired when we lose and say absolutely nothing about coaches when we win?

It is also pretty much guaranteed that floodwaters will wash away informal housing that was put up in the past 12 months in place of informal houses that were washed away by floodwaters last year, because they were built on the banks of little streams that the new residents refused to believe would get bigger than  a trickle.

South Africa's farmers will complain bitterly about the drought/floods - whichever comes first.

And finally, there is no question at all about the prediction that in 2012 the rich will get rich her and the poor poorer. 

The sale of Bentleys that increased by 31 per cent last year will continue to soar at about the same rate as poverty related child deaths.
    

- Follow Chris on Twitter.

Send your comments to Chris

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.


Comments
  • sam.kaitawa - 2012-01-10 07:44

    Almost poetic yet substantial yet lacking that certain something? 2012, here's a good wish for you although let's not forget that the end is nigh/never/ever or perhaps maybe? On a personal level, Saffas aren't only just pessimistic your a bunch of optimist's.....I'm speaking riddles, take the good with the bad and the rugby All the best or worst as the case may be?

  • Malcolm - 2012-01-10 08:00

    We have to laugh at ourselves. What a foolish nation we have become! Also, the excessive taxes and dishonesty associated with the petrol price increases must be investigated; if not, can you imagine the price when the rand weakens substantially, for it will. Meanwhile the government continues to earn tainted billions from excessive taxation on a lucrative and ever-increasing source. Chris please proof-read your sentences to correct a few glaring grammatical errors, otherwise a truly great article.

  • IcemanGP - 2012-01-10 08:14

    Ever notice how the humble plastic shopping bag has increased in price quite substantially ..... Prices go up, salaries go down.

      Althea - 2012-01-10 08:58

      That is what makes me so sad, majority are unemployed and therefore not paying taxes, minority are employed and paying tax yet our salaries does not increase and everything else icl. medical aids, mortgage, insurance school fees increase....the minority are running a huge loss here!

      Blip - 2012-01-10 09:36

      Everyone is a taxpayer -- you pay 14% VAT every time you go to a shop.

      Shirley - 2012-01-10 10:38

      I must pay R40.00 per thousand on my bags ,government duty,where is this money going to ?

      justin.pretorius - 2012-01-10 12:03

      @Blip Sorry Blip you are mistaken. We are talking about income tax payers not just shoppers paying 14% VAT! Look at those stats and you will be shocked to the core

      Sharon - 2012-01-10 16:51

      Apparently there were 5.9 million registered taxpayers in SA in the 2010 tax year. Hard to believe that the few support the many

  • hendrik.baird - 2012-01-10 08:15

    too true

  • jerry.kb - 2012-01-10 08:17

    I like the way Chris put it. Let's open up our eyes and start from what we know. Small things such as 31 December 2012 will be followed immediately by 01st Jauary 2013, are simple truth. You do not need to be an economy specialist to predict some of the things. It is simply common sense. Stuff go up 60 cents and later prices drop by 2 cents are small things that say it all.

  • binarycape - 2012-01-10 08:21

    The article definitely needed proofing before publishing - I can always help out there Chris as it is one of the services I offer. Otherwise an enjoyable article. One other comment. It is virtually guaranteed that no good investigative journalist will ever be allowed to 'investigate' the taxi industry and live.

  • Stephen - 2012-01-10 08:21

    Sad, here is another absolute truth, some people will continue to worship the great "I am", others sadly will continue to refuse to believe in him, I will continue to pray for both groups.

  • Blip - 2012-01-10 09:51

    And CEO will get multimillion "annual performance bonuses" bigger than the ordinary worker's lifetime earnings. Even if the company's turnover and profits are halved. "It's their employment market value" the usual liars will say.

  • Joe - 2012-01-10 09:57

    Good article Chris. Your crystal ball will no doubt prove to be a remarkably accurate instrument. One further prediction for 2012 ... fewer authors will type articles using keyboards. More and more of them will use voice recognition software instead. Proof reading before publication will become increasingly important ;-)

  • jacques.d.devilliers - 2012-01-10 09:58

    I disagree, your article says same ol same ol. Well not just do we have a leap year and the olympics to look forward to, there is also the business of the end of the world...

  • Gungets - 2012-01-10 10:09

    Freudian slip perhaps, but the truest thing in the article - "the rich will get rich her ...".

  • trix.duvenage - 2012-01-10 10:15

    I like this guy's strange sense of humor but then what he says is very true. The problem is we can open our eyes as he asks but what can we do about it? The never ending system simply carries on. We moan about murders....nothing changes. We cry out about petrol prices....nothing happens. Whatever we do, things will not change, simply because we are the VOTERS. Our VOTES are needed but after the elections they dont want to hear about your troubles.... The 'nation' is only important when 'the nation' must decide what political party should rule the country.... but after the elections the 'nation's voice' means NOTHING and the never ending story carries on an on and on. When will the South African voters realise that a stronger opposition will DETERMINE the outcome of this country? Or even better: When will the majority voters be educated enough to UNDERSTAND that a vote is SECRET and that NOBODY will EVER know who or what you voted for?? I believe the day when these two aspects becomes reality the opposition parties will become stronger and only THEN will 'the nation' have a better say in things that are basically UNCONTROLLED and goes by UNQUESTIONED in our time....

      Malcolm - 2012-01-10 10:24

      Words of wisdom

  • Andy - 2012-01-10 11:13

    Yes we are all waiting for some real investigative journalism. Is that not something you are paid to do Mr Moerdyk? Or does the title "Columnist" preclude you from that kind of thing?

  • Rory - 2012-01-10 11:20

    A bit of a one sided article, leaning towards the pessimistic outcomes and views and not stating anything positive that may happen. But that caters quite well to most News24 readers....

  • Janneman27 - 2012-01-10 11:22

    All true, yet all very obvious...senseless journalism if you ask me...why doesn't Chris try to BE the journo who does the investigating? Instead of being the journo who complains about the lack of investigation...

  • MissGremlin - 2012-01-10 11:54

    Oooh. I love this game. I have a good one! the racist mudslinging on News24 comment forums will continue unchecked. Comments or commentors who have had the "report comment" button plugged more than 5 times, should be removed/blocked from the system. They now have the ability, with the facebook logins, to eliminate SOME of the idiots.

  • Craig - 2012-01-10 14:59

    It really depends how you look at the world. For example, once I take the lemon out of my mouth, I know that the following shall ALL come true, or is happening right now:- Two strangers will grin at one another and their love will ignite the stars. A man will die saving a child he doesn't know and will smile as he does it. Two old men will forget their aches and pains for a brief moment and giggle at a squirrel fighting an Indian mynah. Three kittens will rub noses and dream of orange stripes in exotic jungles. A forest fire will launch the growth of a seed which shall become a new and mighty oak tree which will shade a boy who will grow up to be a preacher of peace. Neighbours will give shelter to each other and build new homes on the ruins of their old lives. News24 shall employ a real sub-editor. A bearded man in a coma will wake up and hug his wife, while the family dog howls at the moon in praise. A crying baby will swallow her tears and in so doing nurture the tiniest kernel of strength that will one day help her to help her own baby. The wheel will turn and no one will be there to see it. It will carry on turning for ever, and one day we will see it for the immaculate dream of hope that all life clings onto. Namaste, punks.

  • pages:
  • 1