It’s time to bulldoze Newlands

2011-11-22 07:27

At Parliament today various groups of citizens shall be protesting the ANC’s lingering flirtation with the Access to Information Bill. For the uninformed, that’s the thing they want to do where they can keep all their secrets secret, and lock up any journalist or commenter who dares to inform them that apartheid has actually ended and we’d all like to move on now.

Ordinary folk like you and me, your average concerned citizens, informed journalists and the like will all be present to kick over dustbins, set fire to rubber tyres and make a nuisance of themselves. And, if veteran journo Don Mattera is to be believed, it could be quite an experience, as the ANC will no doubt shit themselves when they see a bunch of disgruntled whiteys loitering around the streets and not a Coldplay concert in sight.

But I don’t want all this worthy protesting energy to go to waste, so I’ll be heading down to parliament in Cape Town today to round up the indignant masses once the water cannons and rubber bullets come out, and I’ll be herding everyone towards Newlands. If we’ve all got our black on anyway, I see no reason to stop with just one Tuesday protest.

Now obviously press freedom is rather more important than a rugby union and a city bickering about venues, but still, this ongoing debate about the viability of the Cape Town Stadium to hold rugby matches needs to come to end.

I see Provinces extremely valid point that they own Newlands and would most likely have to pay rent should they play Stormers and WP matches at the Cape Town Stadium, but other than that, there is no good reason to object to at least a few matches in the new venue. Let’s work it out, people, because here’s a newsflash WPRFU, it’s not about you. It’s about your fans. And you’re just damn lucky your feeble team has the most patient in the land.

An embarrassment

The cancellation of the Saracens and Biaritz rugby match in January next year because of typically stubborn old farts is just plain embarrassing. No other major city in the world would attract a top sporting fixture, only to have the protagonists pull out because of petty in-fighting by the hosts. Be honest, what do you think those clubs are saying behind their finely worded press releases. I bet it goes along the lines of, “Ah, typical Africa. Couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery…”

Newlands is tired folks. It’s old and decrepit, probably not unlike the people in charge of Western Province rugby (I wouldn’t be able to write that if the Information Bill was passed). It’s cold and wet. Despite what the rugby bosses tell you, the facilities are awful. The bars stink, the toilets are vile, and you can’t even enjoy your beer on the stands. That’s no way to treat your loyal fans. They talk about repaying the faith of their suite holders too. But what about all the free-loaders who get invited to the boxes, and never go to a match otherwise.

The people they should be thinking of are the delusional fans who traipse to Newlands in the wind, wet and cold to watch their team choke in another semifinal. They deserve better than that dark, dank miserable chunk of concrete. The union uses their fan numbers as defence against not moving, which makes no sense at all. Fans come to see the team, not to marvel at the wonder of Newlands, you numnuts’. They’ll go wherever the team plays. And I dare say more would come if you offered them a better environment in which to watch their crumbling team.

And don’t even get me started on trying to get in and out of the stadium.

Sentiment is one thing, and I’ve been going there for 20 years and sat in every imaginable position at that ground watching my beloved Western Province, but you can’t let it override common sense. You, Newlands, have had your chips and your days are numbered. It’s time to move on.

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