David Moseley

Lights, camera, flash...outrage!

2013-04-30 08:43

David Moseley

You guys. You guys! Tsk tsk. I go to sleep last night worried whether I have enough wool to knit new socks for winter, and I wake up to outrage. Outrage!

You're all outraged. Every single one of you is foaming at the mouth like a horse chasing a beach ball-sized sugar cube.

The nation. The entire nation! You're all on the brink, every single one of you - apart, of course, from the 95% not on twitter - of slack-jawed madness because those tricky ANC comrades have jack-booted their way into Mandela's waiting room (he's waiting for a better place) for a priceless photo-op-cum-white-people-stich-up-cum-this-will-take-their-minds-off-everything PR campaign.

Bleating wallies. That's what you are. The lot of you. You-re so outraged - outraged! - at this latest heinous bout of disrespect shown by the ruling party that you're even sharing the vile TV spot.

Look! There's Madiba, flinching like a wounded foal at the back of a burning barn. Look! LOOK AT HIM FLINCH. That's how outraged you are. You're so outraged you want everyone to see it. You want everyone to be outraged. The video is so outrageous it's your moral duty to be aghast...and to share it with everyone. Because. Outrage.

It's good, while you wait for your Nespresso to brew with Sky news on in the background that you're outraged. As outraged as you are when your poor maid has to take five different taxis to come in this morning because of the transport strike.

As outraged as you are when the temperature dropped last night and those nice people down the road who dig in your bin every Friday had no blankets to warm them.

As outraged as you are when children were being told not to attend school last week as a show of solidarity for the teachers strike.

Madiba appreciates your outrage. In fact, right now, as his life slowly dissipates through his disappointed lips, he's reading your tweets and your messages of outrage. He knows you've helped. He'll take your tweets upstairs. "Look," he'll say to the Big Guy. "These people were outraged. They are a good people."

Fuck man. You people are so fucking outraged you don't know what you're outraged about. How about actually contributing for once, instead of jumping on the bandwagon? How about doing something to make a difference instead of being outraged?

Yes, the ANC are a bunch of tools doing what they did. But that's what we expect them to do. Just like they expect you to be outraged for a few days, buying them crucial time to plot an invasion of Switzerland. Or whatever the fuck it is they do at ANC HQ - order lunch from Mr Delivery probably.

Be outraged. Just make sure you're not being outraged for the sake of sounding like a saint, when in fact you’re as useless as the lot of them.

- Follow @david_moseley on Twitter.

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