Georgina Guedes

Don't go public with your privates

2012-10-18 10:45

Georgina Guedes

One time, in Portugal, two friends and I let the novelty of Absinthe go to our heads, and when we got back to where we were staying, we carried on the party by taking a couple of topless photos of ourselves.

Embarrassingly, this was in the days of film cameras (she said, clutching her walking cane), so in order to retrieve our holiday photos, we had to have the whole spool developed. Being of sober minds at that point (although our hangovers stretched on for weeks), we destroyed the offending photos, and that was the end of that.

Unfortunately, this is not the way that many – way too many – nudie photo stories end. The world is full of stupid or vindictive idiots, and anyone who puts out in public those bits that they would prefer remained private, is risking their vajayjay going viral.

Life's lessons

There are lots of lessons I hope to share with my daughter as she navigates her way along the winding road of life. They start with “always wear sunscreen”, and don't really have an end, but stop at “don't stay with cruel men”, and “be loyal to your friends”, along the way. A very important destination along the route will be, “don't give naked photos of yourself to anyone”.

People seem to do this in two different scenarios, broadly speaking. The first one is when they believe that there is a level of trust between them and the recipient. The teenage girl misses her boyfriend so much that she sends him a photo of her boobs to prove it.

It's all sweet and naughty, but then they break up, and when she hook up with someone else, her ex is so consumed with jealousy that he puts a photo of her boobs on the school notice board. Girls, guys, if you're in a relationship that you think is going to last forever – whether you're 15, 25 or 55 – be aware that everybody thinks so when they're in love.

What happens afterwards is always a nasty shock.

And it's not always even when things go sour. I can remember once being appalled in a work meeting when a colleague showed off a photo of her new boyfriend's schlong that he had sent her.

She was crazy about the guy. She was showing him off. I don't know if he would have been happy for her to do so, but it's always a good idea to remember that other people don't have the same mental privacy settings as you do.

A breach of trust

The second scenario is slightly more sinister. Girls (or boys) strip for fun in online video chats with strangers. Right there is the problem. This is not a trust relationship. The people who want to see your bits online already have something wrong with them. You can't trust their intentions beyond this point.

At best, you're showing a pervert your tits and it ends there. At worst, the pervert is going to track you down and manipulate, blackmail or harm you. Don't be an idiot.

No one deserves a breach of trust, but once you've put a naked image out there, you can't get it back. People have been embarrassed and lives have been ruined by this sort of thing. Don't let it happen to you.

Oh, and, couples, the same applies to sex tapes. Just don't do it. Or if you must, erase soon after you've got your kicks.

- Georgina Guedes is a freelance writer. You can follow @georginaguedes on Twitter.

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