Guest Column

A letter to my unborn son on Father's Day

2017-06-15 12:31
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Mthokozisi Zungu

Last night your mom told me that you have started kicking. I was so overcome with joy that I wished I was next to her for me to experience this first hand.

Just to hear you kick my son, Manzini, Geda ka Gwabini, nyama kayishi isha ngabaphephezeli wena owakhishwa ngenoni emgodini, mazikizela ngenkomo inkomo yasemahenyeni. Ncwane! Hamashe.

I was so happy. I wanted to tell the whole world that my son is growing and that soon you will come into this world. My son is kicking!

But in all the midst of my excitement, a small voice said to me, “You have a lot of work on your hands now; teaching your son what his hands, feet and head are for. Telling him that these body parts are not made to hurt women.”

My son, I write you this letter as the country is faced with serious issues and injustices against women and where men have become animals that abuse and kill women with their hands.

I wish for you to grow up to be a better man, a man who will look after and protect his family.

We the Zungus know that an unworthy man can never take care of his family. That is why I want you to grow up and be able to do right.

The head is for you to think of how you will take care of a woman, how you will provide for her – especially those important to you – your mom, sister, grandmother and all the women you will meet through your life journey. But I want you to be able to distinguish between being good-hearted and being taken for granted and being made a fool.

Your head is for you to think.

The hands are for you to work hard and be able to provide for your family. Never be rough with a woman. Always be gentle. Your hands are for you to protect women.

It is the small things that matter the most to women. I will go in depth regarding this when you are a bit older but I hope that the way I treat your mother will be a good example. Your hands are for protecting women against hooligans, not to hit women, my son.

Even your feet are not for kicking women. There are a lot of games that require you to use your feet – use them for such. Not for kicking women. YOU DO NOT KICK OR HIT A WOMAN.

Your feet are for you to be able to stand up and be a man for your family when they need you. I repeat, never kick a woman. Your feet are for walking and supporting your body.

- Mthokozisi Zungu, 31, is an IT teacher from Osizweni in Newcastle and runs a youth development organisation for high school students in the townships of Newcastle.

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