Khaya Dlanga

Black women: Can we afford you?

2011-08-11 09:25

An acquaintance of mine said to me the other day: “Don't quote me on this but I've often joked with guys that I want to be rich so I can afford to date a black woman.” Note the irony; I’m quoting him even though he said I shouldn’t. Well, I asked if I could quote him afterwards without naming him, so, ja.

Then he said a prime example is that of a beautiful young woman who left a young gentleman for an older guy. “How can a good-looking guy with a six pack etc get cuckolded by an older married guy? Maybe it’s the power or the envelopes he leaves behind when he leaves her crib or the hotel.”

Obviously this was not meant or directed at all black women. He was talking about the lure of money and young black woman.

The hypnotising power of money is of course not something that is exclusive to black women. There is something about power and money. Just as guys seem to lose their minds the moment they see a short skirt. We all have different stimuli.

A dilemma

Black women are increasingly finding it difficult to find good quality black men, apparently. Increasingly, there are more and more educated black women who are doing rather well for themselves. Unfortunately, they say there are fewer black men who can meet their standards. These women complain and say that black men can easily date outside the race. They can date white women, coloured, and Indian women easily but it’s difficult for black women because they aren’t being approached by white guys as regularly as black men are accepted by women of other races.

This poses a dilemma for the sisters. “These white girls are taking our best men” as black American movies often parody. I have dabbled across the colour bar myself. I have often said this; I am an equal opportunity dater. I will date any woman of any race as long as she’s hot. And I have.

This is the quickest way to piss off white guys. “I like white women.” It’s also the quickest way to piss off black women. One can understand why this might upset some black women. When a successful black man crosses over to the other side, there is a smaller selection of eligible men of colour to choose from because white guys don’t really gravitate towards them. Unless they are foreign white men. They love our women. You should have seen them during the World Cup.

When you go overseas as a black person you become rather exotic. I found that I was even exotic to other black people in the States. Maybe South Africans should specialise in marrying foreigners. Too much? Ok. I take it back.

Women with fewer demands

The acquaintance I quoted earlier also said this: “In my experience if you're not rolling in dough it’s easier to hook up with a white, coloured and even an Asian woman, I promise you.” Basically, the kind of ladies he’d like to get to know aren’t giving him a chance because he’s not loaded, he’s not some BEE type with an accompanying BEE belly and BEE bank balance to help him pick up black women. So he goes for white, coloured and Asian women who are not so demanding on one’s bank balance.

He did say some black women. He didn’t say all. Let’s remember that before we get angry.

Essentially, women of other races don’t put as many demands on brothers as black women. When he said that it’s easier, he didn’t mean that they are easier. He just said that the relationship is easier once you’re in it. Fewer headaches.

A few weeks ago I was at the mall and I saw an old white man with a young black hot woman. They were holding hands. Then I tweeted, “Old white guy. Young hot black woman. Must be her dad.” Of course everyone knew that was not the case, because we’ve never seen a poor old white guy or a poor old black man with a young black woman. Hang on I’ve never seen it with any race.

Are young black women pricing themselves out of the market because the demands they are making on the young black man on his way up? Are they driving him towards the arms of other women? Or is the young black man too busy playing games that the young black woman starts losing patience with him and starts looking elsewhere?

For older men want to settle down and aren’t looking to be partying and messing around with other girls. (Although to be honest, these older rich guys are probably involved with several other ladies at the same time.)

Lucky

Maybe it’s not the fault of the young black woman. Maybe the young black man needs to grow up. Or the young black woman needs to give the guys with potential a chance instead of running off with the guys already in their prime. Where’s the satisfaction in that? My guess is that the fingers will be pointed at that young black man.

I have been fortunate enough to meet women who have never demanded more than they knew I was capable of. Black, white or coloured. They could have been with any sugar daddy in the world but they chose poor, short, cute, funny, awkward and random me.

I would be lying if I said I experienced what my acquaintance said. However, I have heard many guys complain about the same thing he complained about. I thank my lucky stars I’ve never experienced it.

- Follow Khaya on Twitter.

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News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.


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