Khaya Dlanga

Hot, successful, female and single

2010-10-26 09:55

There are a lot of hot women in their 20s and early 30s out there. And they are not just hot. They are hot, smart and have great jobs. Many of them are the most conscientious people I have ever met. Yet they are single. Why is it that these incredible women can’t get a break with love? This has puzzled me a great deal. Why is it that when they have everything going for them, the most important thing - love - isn’t going for them? The conclusion many have come to is that intelligence and success intimidates men. Perhaps.

I believe that is a simplistic conclusion to say that men are just intimidated by these successful women. Even if it is true. What a lot of people haven’t considered is that although social structures have changed rapidly, our natural and evolutionary nature hasn’t changed. Just a generation ago, our fathers were the dominant ones; they were running things and women, sadly, played second fiddle. This is what men are used to. It will take a while before we get used to it. The CEO of Coca-Cola said recently that this century is going to be the century of the woman. Perhaps men ought to brace themselves for this.

I was talking to a couple of females over the weekend and they were complaining about the lack of men who will man up. “We are hot yet we don’t find men.” This seems especially prevalent in the black female population. I am aware that this phenomenon isn’t just a black one; it’s something that seems to affect women of all races. In fact, a recent study in the United States showed that young women are earning more than their young male counterparts.

Here comes the more interesting part, the Cornell University study also said that women who earn more than their men are more likely to be cheated on. The study also showed that men who were totally dependent on their wives’ incomes were five times more likely to cheat than those who contributed the same amount. Hang on ladies before you think you should get a man with a lot of money. The study also showed that men who made a lot more money than their spouses were also more likely to cheat. The study says that non-earning men cheat because they are unhappy, higher earning men cheat because they can.

Men, as everyone knows, are meant to be the hunters; bringing home the bacon; the bread winners. Now that things aren’t the same anymore, these young men feel powerless. Maybe it’s time people came to realise that society is changing. Money does not make a man. If money defines a man then he completely misunderstands what being a man means.

Maybe these young women also have higher standards. In the past, women would settle for a man simply because he could provide even though he may not have been the man they would have chosen to settle down with. Now they don’t need him for financial security. Men are confused. They don’t know what their roles are anymore.

Young women are looking for men who are at least as intelligent and as successful as they are. However, that pool of men is getting smaller and smaller because a greater chunk of women are replacing them. As a study in the United States indicates, the reason young women are starting to earn more is because of education. More women are starting to graduate than men. For every two guys who graduate from university, three women do.

But then again, since women have raised the bar when it comes to the kind of men they want, it has become increasingly difficult for them to find a man that fits the new high standard. Men feel pressured, so they avoid women they think they are competing against. They feel they are competing with them at work, now they have to compete with them as girlfriends too. So they just lay back and look for non-threatening women. As long as men see strong women as a threat, these strong women will remain single.

Strong women make for a better society. I love nothing more than a strong woman. There is nothing sexier than a smart and strong woman. Strong women make us better; they make us stronger as men.

- Follow Khaya on Twitter.

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