All I want for Christmas...

2008-12-22 08:16

Chris Moerdyk

I remember as a kid listening cracking up with laughter whenever Springbok Radio played a song called; "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth..." but now, almost six decades later, it's not so funny anymore because that's actually what I really need.

My damn dentures drive me crazy and make eating gooey stuff extremely difficult. But, living in the Western Cape I can take them out every now and then because its an advantage sometimes to be seen to be minus your front teeth.

I am told that it is a sign of gang membership which means that I get some quite remarkable respect in some places not to mention being able to get second hand car parts really cheap. (Oh come on, it's the silly season, for crying out loud, go along with me on this one.)

Okay seriously then, apart from a sturdy set of implants what else do I want for Christmas or in 2009?

Well here's my wish list.

That our major political parties and especially their youth leagues will try and remember that we are supposed to be a democracy and that the basic idea is to win elections by voting and not by threatening to kill anyone who dares oppose them.

That the ANC get on with it and announce the date of the elections so we can all move on with our lives and not have to live with this petty, childish political one-upmanship day in and day out.

That Southern African leaders stop treating Robert Mugabe as though he is some sort of god and understand that the man has completely lost his mind and that in any other country he would have long been confined to an asylum for the mentally insane.

That those same Southern African leaders start realising that when someone like Archbishop Tutu - a Nobel peace prize winner and a man that has preached peace and tolerance all his life - suggests that Mugabe should be removed by military force, that he is more than just a minor problem. And that he is completely incapable of governing a country or even being part of governing a country.

That the new US president, Barack Obama, agrees with the rest of the world that the United States is not the guardian of mankind and can't just go around breaching United Nations resolutions by indiscriminately bombing the daylights out of foreign nations as they did in Afghanistan and Iraq.

That our Minister of Miscommunication and ox-wagon technology lets us catch up with the rest of the world with some decent broadband.

That South African consumers stop sitting on their complacent backsides and start complaining about shoddy service and spiralling prices. And start realising that the whole reason why prices go up and never come down is because we all just accept it.

That the new cabinet that will be formed after the elections will include people like Trevor Manuel and Barbara Hogan even to the point of chaining them to their desks and refusing to allow them to retire.

I could go on and on with a wish list but its the festive season and the weather's good outside, so I am going to shut up shop, grab my fishing rod and head for the beach and leave any other 2009 wishes to you to pop into the comment facility below.

Here's wishing all my readers a wonderful festive season and brilliant 2009. I hope that both of them have joy and prosperity.

Send your comments to Chris.

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