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Colleen Figg

Sweetening the deal

2009-02-13 08:48

Colleen Figg

Things must be very hard these days; the dreaded credit crunch, economic meltdown, financial straits, call it what you will is making its presence felt in the most unexpected places.

I noticed, for instance, that sugar manufacturing companies seem to think they have to stay on the cutting edge of marketing and as such, one company has got about five reasons on the back of its pack of sugar explaining why we are lucky to be using the product.

Their extra refined sugar, they explained, dissolves first time, so one need not add more sugar to one's drink before the original lot has dissolved. This is not a problem I have ever encountered before, I must admit. Normally I put my sugar in my tea, stir it and drink it down.

I find I don't have to hover about anxiously staring at the clock waiting for a certain period to have lapsed (shall we call it the soluble minute?) before sampling the tea and finding, to my disappointment, that I have to add another spoon because the first two simply did not play the game and dissolve.

Similarly we are reassured that - owing to the sugar being so refined - we will never end up with the nasty problem of un-dissolved (as they put it) sugar crystals lurking at the bottom of our cups once we have consumed the unsatisfactorily sweetened tea other sugars would offer.

Again, I've not really ever blamed the sugar itself for not dissolving properly if I have landed up with crystals in my cup, but rather my own lack of follow through with the stirring process. I'm relieved to find out after all these years that I have not been lazy, instead the sugar has been recalcitrant. It's all good.

Resistance

The blissful baking bloggers on the Food24 blogs will be relieved to hear that this particular sugar will cost far less in terms of elbow grease when they cream it together with butter. The tiny grains offer less resistance to the butter (a teeny science lesson flung in for anyone interested) and instead of them having to haul in various family members to take over when their arms have seized up, the ladies themselves can finish the job with no sweat.

All the marvellous reasons why we should love this pack of sugar are summed up at the end when they tell us that we, the women of South Africa, are very lucky to have this particular, superior sugar and should be grateful to the manufacturers. I take it we should show this gratitude by buying more of this wonder product.

In a world driven and shaped by the immediate gratification needs of the consumer I'm very happy to have discovered instant sugar. The laborious business of endless stirring, embarrassing moments at teatime when your visitor goes away less than happy with the levels of crystals in her cup are over.

Pour some sugar on me!

Send your comments to Colleen.

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

- News24


nthatuwa 2/13/2009 9:14:01 AM
I don't mean no disrespect,but isn't there anthing else you can write about?

Mr P 2/13/2009 9:19:52 AM
A welcoming change to the usual boring comments

Richard 2/13/2009 9:21:18 AM
Well...that was funny. We need more humour. Thanks.

Chav 2/13/2009 9:35:51 AM
Good read for a Friday morning.. Hopefully the dreaded article on politics doesn't appear before home time!!

R@Stek 2/13/2009 9:36:54 AM
This is funny, something new for a change. The ever lasting threads about any other rubbish has become so boring that I don't read the MyNews24 section antmore. To my delight, rather entertaining.

Kerry 2/13/2009 9:44:53 AM
What a good read for a friday. Thanx for the good laugh. Nice way to end the week

Richard 2/13/2009 9:48:14 AM
Haha thanks for an awesome column Colleen, made for some decent light-hearted reading, something that I agree News24 really needs more of. Don't worry about the "nthatuwa" types on this forum, I swear it seems most of them are only really interested in reading political essays anyway.

Daniel Plainview 2/13/2009 9:49:59 AM
This article is reminiscent of those bored housewife from JHB's northern suburbs. Only one of these intellectually challenged beings can whinge about how they dont like the way sugar dissolves. I think there are far more pressing issues at stake than sugar

Nicole 2/13/2009 9:53:05 AM
Oh calm down, you are getting way too uptight lately. There is more to life than politics. Nice article and a good laugh:)

Marc 2/13/2009 9:55:08 AM
By saying you 'dont mean no disrespect', means that in actuall fact you do mean disrespect. Just further proof your education system is failing you, then again, the less educated you are the further you will go

Giant Panzy 2/13/2009 10:00:18 AM
wanted to hear more about comrade Julius Malema? Welcome to the lighter side of life.

Ntando 2/13/2009 10:00:32 AM
That was so funny. I really needed a laugh on this grim Friday. Thanks

KOBUS 2/13/2009 10:04:46 AM
I actually saw this a few weeks ago on the sugar I bought (bought it because it was the cheapest available) and also had a good laugh about it. I mean, if your biggest worry is that you have to stir for 10 seconds extra to make all the HUGE crystals of the other manufacturers dissolve, then you're doing pretty well! Heh.

Brenton 2/13/2009 10:05:47 AM
Like what?

AJ 2/13/2009 10:06:34 AM
Loved all of that. Some companies are hoisted by their own petard!

MJ 2/13/2009 10:15:51 AM
Actually you are wrong. The figure of speech being used demonstrates that nthatuwa bears no ill will or resentment when delivering a constructive statement. Otherwise it can be taken as an 'ad hominum' type attack. And I am of the opinion that nthatuwa is right.

wambo 2/13/2009 10:30:12 AM
It's actually quite refreshing to read something other than the standard complaints about politics and all that drivel. Lighten up and relax a bit! Thanks for the humourous article Colleen! Put an amused smile on my face this morning..... ;-)

Me 2/13/2009 10:33:12 AM
It could be and most probably is marketing BS. But did you ever consider that maybe its true? Some products are just superior quality to others. Take Marie biscuits - no name brand vs. Bakers vs. Baumanns vs something else... they are not all the same, but are all Marie biscuits... Haha. Waste of time reading this and even more of a waste of time commenting on it.

anna 2/13/2009 10:36:48 AM
I honestly couldn't care less about sugar, just buy the cheapest brand. But thank you for the Def Leppard reference!

Innocentia 2/13/2009 11:03:08 AM
...only South African women use sugar...lol!!!Must've been co written by our sexist president (i hope not) to be Zuma. Oh man, sugar is sugar is sugar... their sales are obviously declining and their marketing team had no clue what to do. Thanks for that bit of info and for the laugh :)

browniegirl 2/13/2009 11:21:50 AM
HAHAHA!! This is good Col and I enjoyed the laugh. As one of those baking bloggers.....I salute and thank you for the enlightenment..we all need a bit of sugar in our lives :o) xxx

Witch Twin 2/13/2009 11:32:12 AM
LOL. Love your style of writing and humour.

butterfly effect 2/13/2009 11:35:32 AM
I enjoyed the article, something on the lighter side of life - thanks. @MJ, Marc is correct, by saying 'I don't mean no disrespect' you are using two negatives in one sentance. It should either be said- 'I mean no disrespect' or 'I don't mean disrespect'. Just my 2cents worth...

MJ 2/13/2009 11:44:38 AM
Correct, he did use a double negative, but do you think it was intentional, or not a manner of speaking he is used to? So can Marc berate him for his gramma/English mistake, or with an open mind accept the opinion given? Especially in an environment where we all use the same language to communicate, which is not always our first. Otherwise we will berate each other for using symbols instead of words (2cents) as well ;).

Jackie D 2/13/2009 11:49:10 AM
Well, that certainly sweetened my Valentine's Day!

Gareth 2/13/2009 11:57:40 AM
In a world gone mad...its such a relief we can still rely on that 'superior' sugar to dissolve with minimal effort :)

CTheB 2/13/2009 12:06:13 PM
I see this as a good sign. Hopefully it means that companies producing sugar are having to fight for market share from other manufacturers and, more importantly, that people are starting to consume less sugar.

nthatuwa 2/13/2009 12:09:19 PM
You people are funny.You're going on about my first line like this?"I don't mean no disrespect?It's not an error,I meant it that way.There are people who actually speak like that & was only borrowing the line from them.Didn't expect to be schooled.And you're talking about "sugar"? lol,I love this country.

nthatuwa 2/13/2009 12:13:18 PM
My hero.You're the only one who understood me.I really did mean no disrespect,lol.Otherwise I would have said things far worse in my comment. ps.I think you're really intelligent.

butterfly effect 2/13/2009 12:16:52 PM
Agreed... I think Marc was just picking on Nthatuwa because of the negative comment...

Noname 2/13/2009 12:17:34 PM
What gets me about sugar is how the "No-name Brand" in my local P 'n P is either the same price or quite a bit more expensive than the branded product? What gives? P.s: Shakespeare used double negatives all the time; even today there are those who believe it merely means you're emphasising the fact/your opinion (or in this case above, clear lack of one), etc. Ah, well, never pay me no mind.

Red 2/13/2009 12:36:24 PM
For someone who had the nice surprise of trying to leave for work only to discover that my car had been broken into.......I am very grateful that there are still some people out there with a sense of humour - thanx, I really needed a good giggle :) :)

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