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David Moseley

A not so glamorous world

2009-07-07 10:29

I hope this doesn't turn out to be like the time you first heard Santa Clause was a figment of some marketer's imagination, I'd really hate to shatter your illusions, but I thought this might be of interest to people who have an interest in magazines in this country.

Being savvy media consumers I'm sure you've all by now seen (or just heard of) movies based on real magazine experiences like The Devil Wears Prada and How to Lose Friends and Alienate People; television shows like Ugly Betty, Sex and the City and Just Shoot Me; fictional magazine movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or even the reality show Running in Heels.

These movies and shows all depict the US magazine industry as fast-paced and glamorous. A place where everyone from the tea-boy to the executive editor fires hilarious quips across the room, where gleaming white Apple iBooks can file stories in the blink of a fibre-optic cable from an opium den in the Himalayas and where magazine staff rub shoulders with society's high and mighty, falling into the celebrity category themselves. And, of course, where interns cry if they can't finish their 200-word assignment within their three-month deadline. (I actually do have a white iBook, I have asked Sir Ian Botham to pass the tomato sauce, and I did really make an intern cry once, but she was crap. That's where the similarities end).

You might also notice that in some of these movies and shows there are scenes of editorial planning meetings where staff gush ideas onto the lap of their omnipotent, serene and immaculately attired editor. That's what I thought I was getting into when I started studying journalism.

However, after working in magazines for almost 10 years in this country, I can tell you that the reality of shows like Running in Heels and the make-believe tinged with fact of The Devil Wears Prada is very far from the reality of our magazine industry. I haven't worked at a magazine in three years, so maybe things have changed by now, but the differences in the way the American magazine industry is presented on-screen and how it actually works over here are glaring (which is not to say we're inferior. In fact, considering our resources, we do a damn fine job).

Gorgeous office space with rows of trendy glass desks, Macs powerful enough to download data from the ISS and views of the city skyline? Naah. Not a chance. I had a pretty decent view of Table Mountain at my last gig, but before that I sat in a dimly-lit dungeon where the seemingly self-aware air-conditioning either blew Eskimo breath down your neck or the heater melted your cheese sandwiches before lunchtime.

I have it on good authority (I hosted a visiting American journalist from Conde Nast Traveller a few years back) that the staff sizes of magazines in the States, as seen in the movies, are pretty realistic. By comparison, local staff sizes are miniscule, so mistakes tend to creep in.

In a movie you'll see a caption writer fretting to meet a deadline. But that's all they do - write captions. Here the caption writer is most likely the features editor who has already written five features that month, been sued three times in the week, captioned every other feature in the magazine, commissioned features for the issue from freelancers, subbed the freelance copy, helped proof-read the rest of the magazine, more than likely re-written the ed's letter after he's gone off on another tangent, chosen pictures for a story, sat in planning meetings and discovered 45 new sex positions. All without tears.

Anyway, remind me to tell you the time we were on a tight deadline and we couldn't find our art director (who'd fallen asleep, severely hung-over, under his desk). You don't see that in the movies.

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huh? 7/7/2009 10:53:00 AM
What is this guy on about ....

Gus 7/7/2009 10:56:12 AM
Yea, and it seems like you nearly missed your deadline for a story and came up with this crap. Why dont you write a column about paint drying - that would probably be as interesting as this one was! This must be THE worse column entry I have EVER seen in my life.

Tiaan 7/7/2009 10:57:28 AM
So uhm, who cares? Virtually no occupation depicted in movies are accurate. I'm a computer programmer and have quite a few highly experienced and qualified colleagues. Nobody in our office can hack into the CIA database with two or three keystrokes typed a the speed of light. Although we do know where to get the funniest email jokes though...

Erin 7/7/2009 11:11:18 AM
It's bizarrely coincidental that you'd publish this the same morning I research how to expand my freelance writing. I have no desire to work full-time in the mag industry but, having read your piece, I may do it for a day just so I can have a laugh and admire the brave folk who do it full-time. What happened to the art director under the desk?

Martha 7/7/2009 11:12:18 AM
Oh, so true, David! I'm currently in the northern hemisphere, haven't been in journalism for a while, but my memories are the same as you describe. Worst of all, looking for a decent “family magazine” is impossible. The amount of celebrity gossip/soaps magazines is unbelievable. The South African magazines in general are really of a high standard, versatile and interesting stuff to read. But putting them together - oh boy! I too at some point was the editor, proofreader, photographer, captions creator and layout expert all in one.

Tony 7/7/2009 11:21:47 AM
Dave, Dave, Dave, we don't do pink/Prada... not your usual MAGnificent off the wall stuff. Methinks you secretly (not any more!) hanker for a roof to floor glass-walled corner office with a view...

SP 7/7/2009 11:24:29 AM
Maybe it is because local columnists are allowed to write irrelevant boring nonsense like this that they are not read anymore. Magazines are 70% advertisement and 30% badly written copy. Only useful bit in the SA mags are the crossword puzzles and sudoku... Lucky for us the internet arrived so we have much more variety to choose from.

Cairns 7/7/2009 11:29:36 AM
huh, Gus and Tiaan. you okes need to find a sense of humour pretty quickly. Good article david. similarities between the movies and reality on the finance side are a bit more real. office space could have been a day in my office!

anna 7/7/2009 11:31:32 AM
Is this seriously your job, to write this crap? do you get paid for this??

Pieter 7/7/2009 11:38:29 AM
Rather entertain us on the things you know absolutely nothing about and pretend you do. If you keep this up you will HAVE to find another industry to work in.

cuba - @tiaan 7/7/2009 11:45:24 AM
well you guys never studied the programmer's handbook then, it's called 'Hackers' with old angelina jolie, if you had, you would understand that in order to hack into any system, you ABSOLUTELY must play 'Voodoo People' in the background :D

and this site has lots of it/irc jokes: http://www.bash.org/?random

Jaz 7/7/2009 11:48:45 AM
Nice article, I work for a magazine myself, and I have to agree, the movies glamourise the business.

Tinus 7/7/2009 11:51:48 AM
You're suck a victim, David. We really feel for you.

Luckily, no-one makes movies about engineers, so we don't suffer from media misrepresentation.

Leprechaun 7/7/2009 12:11:04 PM
Not such a bad article, don't think it was written to be funny. Fact is that idiots who watch movies/series believe that it's a rather true reflection of how some professions are.

Johann 7/7/2009 12:11:47 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed this! This sounds exactly like my week...yeah you guessed it, I am a magazine editor :)

Thanks David I needed this to remind me that I am not all alone in this world and my sister, whom by the way is also studying to become a journalist, needs to quickly realise that movies and real life are far apart.

Ans 7/7/2009 12:17:52 PM
Things haven't changed, Dave...I work for a women's glossy and, while it might look like as though we have a lot of staff, only 10 of us do any actual work. The rest are spectators (or "the sales team" as others like to call them). I often have fantasies about those Ugly Betty-slash-Devil fashion cupboards...and a computer that doesn't date back to the ice age. Sigh.

Lauren 7/7/2009 12:19:03 PM
Hey Dave, lekker read. I remember hauling burgers to you and your family during the Dean Street, Golden Spur days. Keep on keeping on man...

susie 7/7/2009 12:37:02 PM
Shame David you are getting a roasting today. I enjoyed the column a lot. Nice light hearted stuff for the day. More realistic journalist story than anything on film is the book Rum DIary by Hunter S Thomson. Splendid

Ross 7/7/2009 12:37:30 PM
ok, the TV "magazine" world is not the same as the real "magazine" world... and?

this 7/7/2009 12:50:39 PM
a boring subject if you ask me Dave...

Sam 7/7/2009 12:53:16 PM
Well, David, I enjoyed your article. Makes a nice change from the more 'important' news out there which can be quite depressing. I've always wondered whether Vogue and those big name magazines ARE actually as depicted in the movies - the biggest mystery is how these women afford all that designer gear on those little salaries. But then again - maybe the salaries are huge. Who knows?

Kate 7/7/2009 12:56:18 PM
This made me chuckle.... I'm the person you mention in the second last paragraph. I don't have the white iBook, but i have made an intern cry and naturally, she was crap too.

An ed 7/7/2009 1:06:46 PM
My office is really swish, I do have a Mac but a feature's editor... oh what a luxury...

Shez 7/7/2009 1:16:36 PM
I actually found this interesting. I'd like to hear the story about the Art Director next week..

Keith 7/7/2009 1:23:05 PM
@ huh?,Gus,Tiaan, Give a guy a break. Not everything in life has to be lifealteringly serious.

W 7/7/2009 1:34:25 PM
Gus, your criticism of a fairly entertaining column ends with the deathless "THE worse column entry I have EVER seen in my life," which is grammatically atrocious and the a sad case of tautology (Look it up).

marc 7/7/2009 1:36:06 PM
You poor thing. Is this piece of drivel an example of the "damn fine job" you do?

Ken 7/7/2009 1:38:45 PM
I strongly suggest restocking the ideas box...!

Sparky! 7/7/2009 1:54:00 PM
where's Brandon?

I 7/7/2009 2:12:43 PM
Small wonder you are not currently employed as a journalist. It was poor effort to answer a question that no-one cared to ask. I should have even taken the time to read it.

Jules 7/7/2009 2:33:20 PM
You guys are so mean! I think it's funny. I also work in the media industry, and it's seriously lacking in glamour 98% of the time...

007Boer 7/7/2009 2:35:35 PM
Geez, what a bitter load of comments! Anyways, Tiaan, a REAL programmer doesn't need to hack into the CIA Database themselves, they can get all the info they want on IRC ;)

Scotty 7/7/2009 2:44:45 PM
ah, and then of course you get responses like the ones above. I quite liked it

Loxx 7/7/2009 3:21:50 PM
wtf?

Nyiko 7/7/2009 3:23:06 PM
At least your profession/industry gets some air time and you get to complain. Ever seen or heard of an actuary being mentioned in a movie (except "About Schmidt")?

Julie 7/7/2009 3:46:46 PM
Its a pity...I find Davids topics hugely intriguing, but the content of his articles usually disappoint me. But thats just me.

Publisher 7/7/2009 4:26:18 PM
Enjoyed your article David, but it seems you went right over the heads of a whole bunch of folk for whom an easy (short) comic strip may have been more digestible reading. Keep up the good work though!

Lucia Visser 7/7/2009 4:50:17 PM
I know exactly what you're talking about. I work in the fashion retail industry. For some reason people think we all get to go to fashion shows, are friends with international designers and get free shoes and clothing on demand. It doesn't work that way!

Lulu 7/7/2009 5:33:53 PM
Love it! I worked in the fashion office of a magazine and all I can say is glamarous my ass!

G-spot 7/7/2009 5:38:16 PM
Wha-a-at?!?! Are you trying to tell me that the magazine industry office workers are not all nymphomaniac ubermodels with insanely long legs dressed in extremely short skirts & killer stiletto's? Damn, dude, that IS worse than finding out that Santa or the Easter Bunny doesn't exist. Sorry Dave, you've just gone from hero to zero...

Jan 7/7/2009 9:41:41 PM
I read to the end expecting a point to this drivel. Sadly there wasn't one.

Mike 7/7/2009 9:54:20 PM
Dave, the tribe seem to be hostile
lately - thought your muse was good - lunch on Friday?

Trisha 7/8/2009 7:22:02 AM
never mind the sour comments... tell us more about the art director under the desk.


hehe 7/8/2009 7:37:51 AM
That you would even have to write an article depicting the fact that real life is not like in the movies, just goes to show what a stupid world we live in. Exactly like the women who fantasize over movie stars and story book characters. When oh when will people realise the REAL world is REAL and movies are just ... MOVIES.

BLACKsoWHAT! 7/8/2009 8:36:26 AM
The closest a movie has come to depicting reality is "Office Space", Thats how my day went 2yrs ago at a certain IT company, boring as F***.

Rom 7/8/2009 11:16:44 AM
David, that was funny.
Love reading your columns, I actually look forward to them :)

Andy 7/8/2009 1:42:17 PM
Bro, WHERE IS YOUR ENDING???? 10 years of publishing must have taught you to provide a rap up. A sum up of the story. ANYTHING. The subject is average and then there is zero structure to your column. All writing needs to be concluded otherwise the reader is left with NOTHING. Come on dude - you have some potential but please...

Nix 7/8/2009 4:13:59 PM
I really enjoyed this! Dave, you just made my day. It seems those of us who work in the industry are the only ones who can fully appreciate all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears that goes into producing a magazine.

A 7/9/2009 9:41:30 AM
I'd like to see all these whiners write a column. Good work!

Spat 7/9/2009 4:25:53 PM
Do you notice, David, how those who call this article rubbish are also those who couldn't do what you do no matter how hard they tried. I've worked in various aspects of the word trade and know exactly what you're talking about.

Kate 7/16/2009 1:56:22 PM
Seems the only people who really appreciate your column are those in the industry - I thought it was great, true reflection of a day-in-the-life of a journalist/editor. Great read!
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