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David Moseley

The Wedding Virus

2009-05-05 10:25

David Moseley

In the last few weeks I've had to face down two terrifying pandemics. One, of course, is the latest end of mankind - the devastating pork flu.

Just last week I was driving home and spotted a lone piggy on the pavement (no jokes, there's an animal farm near my house. Less militant swine than Orwell's, though).

In an effort to save the human race, I reversed over the little porker and made delicious rashers out of him. That'll teach Piglet for sneezing in my road.

The second, infinitely more devastating pandemic however, has left me shaking at the knees. Over the last few months a number of my friends have been plagued by a seemingly zombiefying virus that has compelled them to marry at any and all cost.

I don't blame them; they all have lovely wives and did well to lock that down. But it's like they all woke up one morning and thought "must buy engagement ring", "must raise happy family", "must do all of this purely to annoy Dave".

Suffering in silence

Spare a thought for the hapless wedding guest (that's me) - five weddings in the space of eight weeks is enough to send any non-married man over the edge. There's only so many times you can force good humour when beckoned to catch the garter. And there are certainly only a limited number of times you should be forced to endure the greatest hits of the Grease soundtrack.

But here's the thing about weddings. For large portions of the proceedings, they're pretty boring. If you've heard one ceremony, you've heard them all. Even I know by now that One Corinthians is a wedding favourite.

If you've seen one father choke up at the thought that his daughter really, finally is getting nailed by some punk that he'll have to play golf with for the next 35 years, well, you know what I mean. It really is a day tailor-made for the blushing bride. The guests just suffer in silence, smiling benignly, waiting eagerly for the free beer.

So here you go, all ready for the big day. You dust off your suit and single good shirt. You set off with either another close friend of the groom (in which case you happily avoid any dancing duties at the reception), your partner (who'll be dewy-eyed before you've parked the car) or by yourself (a sure giveaway that while you may be friendly with the couple, you're not exactly on the top 10 list as a dinner party invite).

You arrive at the venue, nod at a few vaguely familiar faces, find your spot on the pew (honestly, religious people, if your benches weren't so uncomfortable you'd probably increase church attendance by 45%) and wait for the bride's always enchanting entrance. Then my favourite part - the singing of the hymns. By gosh, this should be banned from all weddings.

All weddinged out

Weddings are a joyous occasion, right? Well, in all my years I've never been to one where people sing like they mean it. Here we are, supposedly celebrating a delightful union, yet the congregation (or whatever the collective noun is for wedding spectators), without fail, mumbles despondently through a few lines like they're about to face the firing squad.

Even the classics, like All Things Bright and Beautiful, get the "I'm singing with my head in a barrel" treatment. My mate Kevin is the worst culprit here. Blessed with a beautifully resounding baritone, the man sings sullenly into his jacket pocket, depriving the wedding of a truly operatic experience.

Anyway, I'm not against marriage. I think it's great. I think I'm just all weddinged out. My family is one or two marriages short of an entry into the record books for most unholy matrimonies, so I'm well-qualified to comment disparagingly on the subject. I've stopped calling stepparents by their names and just give them numbers now. Come in number four, your time is up. Next...

Send your comments to David.

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.

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Catherine 5/5/2009 10:37:49 AM
Classic! You make my day... hehe sneezing piglet!

Nick S 5/5/2009 10:42:01 AM
Ha, I've had it completely wrong the whole time. Agree totally with the hymns part too. Points noted for my wedding later this year...LOL

this 5/5/2009 10:51:29 AM
as always you write well...but kind of enforce your negative view just cos you were not so lucky. A little typical dont you think?

Doorboot 5/5/2009 10:58:36 AM
I banned hyms from my wedding and replaced the wedding march thingy with In a country church yard from Chris de Burgh and it was still solemn. I think weddings drain joy out of people regardles of what you do. BTW after 13 years I love my wife more than I did the day we got married.

An0n 5/5/2009 11:04:30 AM
Know the feeling man, as usual your article does not tell me much life changing, but still some of the most entertaining stuff around.

joeverzi 5/5/2009 11:05:08 AM
Well you should come to a black wedding. The singing is great and a lot of dancing. The whole neighbourhood is invited and free beers keep coming.

Daniel Plainview 5/5/2009 11:12:10 AM
Im not sure why guys get committed. 99% of my mates have gone downhill since they tied the knot(all the whingeing, nagging and irritation the root cause). And for the sake of what? When u need a shag, just set up a no-strings attached relationship, or visit a hooker. At least you get what u want without questions, and no prissy nagging. I prefer this sort of relationship than to what I had with my ex-gf

anna 5/5/2009 11:13:34 AM
You must have just been attending the wrong weddings or where the bride and groom do not really love each other.. or the other people don't love them.

Marc 5/5/2009 11:16:19 AM
The wife's role is to cook, clean and be available in the bedroom. Fuss free

Lucy 5/5/2009 11:16:46 AM
This was a good piece and I agree with everything u wrote(lol)...but driving ova poor piggy was just wrong man!!

Marc 5/5/2009 11:16:46 AM
The wife's role is to cook, clean and be available in the bedroom. Fuss free

Ant 5/5/2009 11:20:39 AM
David. Your unstable family upbringing explains your cynicism about relgion and order, and your generally anti-establishment and foundationless way of life. I understand the context behind the general theme of your articles now. A kind of "Life doesn't have meaning, so just enjoy it while you can", message. Bad luck, mate.

Theresa 5/5/2009 11:24:07 AM
...cry at weddings. And yes, those tears are real and sad and very bored with all the lavishness displayed in an attempt to make it seem a little less false than it all really is. *yawn, sob, hic*

Groot Bijgaarde 5/5/2009 11:26:48 AM
spelling error paragraph 5

susie 5/5/2009 11:26:59 AM
Having had 2 myself - I think weddings suck!!!And they are boring for everyone else bar the bride, who is probably going to regret it in a couple of years anyway, until the free booze kicks in. Then it's just another piss up.

Stef 5/5/2009 11:30:34 AM
If you think the wedding bug was bad. I have news for you. Wait till the children starts to arrive. That is the end of any sane conversation other than one about kids, between you, your wife and the rest of (sane) the world. They say this bug only lasts about 18 years. It is said that life starts when the last kid leaves home and the dog dies!

Jason 5/5/2009 11:32:32 AM
Hey - take the piece for what it is! - a funny view on something serious. Who do you think you are to judge anyway!!!!! For goodness sake!

Red 5/5/2009 11:34:28 AM
I am so happy to see that I am not the only one who's friends have started dropping like flies :)

Suzz 5/5/2009 11:35:49 AM
at least you can party and drink until the sun comes up. Wait until the babies start popping out everywhere around you... That's the beginning of the end. All of a sudden friends you enjoyed spending time with, are not so fun anymore.

Tina 5/5/2009 11:41:25 AM
I loved your article. As far as i am concerned i am newly married this year and probably still in a bubble but Daniel by the sounds of things you were with the wrong woman or you are just as negative as your post and she was just fed up with you hence all the 'prissy nagging'. Buck up and be more positive maybe you will find yourself a nice girl who will regularily, and happily give you a shag and much much more and who knows maybe put a smile on your dial :-)

Astrid 5/5/2009 11:48:50 AM
Weddings are a show case of two individuals (more so the bride) who pinned God in a corner and hold him ransom to get her a man. These Christians and what they subject God to do. Every wedding I've been to is how they drained our poor Messiah and express thankful sincerity for prayers answered. Sick individuals. Hopes the bastard cheats on a the husband wisher.

Liz 5/5/2009 11:49:53 AM
Well a new kind of idiot is born, and you are the 1st of it's kind. I am very glad for this new flu that has broken out, the pigs are getting their own back.

Danger Boy 5/5/2009 11:54:04 AM
You are going to have to find some more friends soon then Dave, you know how it goes... once they are all married you just don't fit in the group anymore!! Don't let them force you to marry and hump at least one bridesmaid for me... and if you can hump two... that's twice as good!!

Chris-T 5/5/2009 11:56:05 AM
...to be invited to so many weddings. Only difference is they should all be for African couples. Attend one and you'll be crying out for more. Very active and interesting. I hope you've got the rythm.

gazmic 5/5/2009 12:00:53 PM
I needed it - I'm planning my wedding, so i've taken some tips from you: no hymns, no boring speeches or bible verses, just good food and music and plenty of beer! Weddings can be fun if you take the mumbling and routine out of them.. See you at the altar next, mate. The ones against it are usually married before they can blink again. Hope you find a keeper.

Lili 5/5/2009 12:06:38 PM
I had a secular wedding and the guests had to sing "I walk the line" by Johnny Cash instead of a hymn. Was fun.

B2 5/5/2009 12:09:20 PM
I understand your view about weddings, I mean 5 of them in 8 weeks? torture to the singles LMAO! I see that one coming in my circle of friends...I hope we don't feel pressure of geeting married fast! There's so much more to enjoy in life!

Dewie 5/5/2009 12:14:27 PM
Stop being AN IDIOT!!!! NOWHERE religion was mentioned. Stop being 'drippy' & get back to work. Good stuff mate. 2 Bonus points for killing a pig. They anyway disgusting & dont know how anybody can eat them. Ps ...Im not even a muslim...Anyway big up!!!!

cornflakeboy 5/5/2009 12:19:10 PM
Been to an Indian wedding recently and was quite interesting for a whitey. I agree that weddings are tedious and driven by Cinderella-mentallity-like bridezillas. Its because of people who can't think further ahead than this that divorce figgures are where they are. A ring cant fill a hole.

Gene 5/5/2009 12:20:17 PM
You clearly are an unhappy man!! Your poor wife!!

PL 5/5/2009 12:32:29 PM
You're so right about black weddings. We had our traditional wedding 2 weekends ago and though it was in the posh suburb where I grew up, it was packed. There was food and booze flowing like crazy. Oh, and the same was repeated at my husband's home (also in a posh suburb) the following day. It was major, major fun!!!!

Lee 5/5/2009 12:32:41 PM
ye cribbed off a cartoon for ''sneezing piglet'' thats a bit bleak.!

myphotographer 5/5/2009 12:43:36 PM
I get to go to plenty of weddings ;-) www.myphotographer.co.za

G Funk 5/5/2009 12:44:22 PM
How can ppl take an article written in 100% jest still manage to see some serious side to it. What kind of lives do you these ppl lead. I was lmao till i started reading the comments. I would love to meet ppl like Ant for example, and spend a few days with him/her to c what makes these ppl tick. I really don't wanna presume anything ; 4 example that they attend church 8 days a week. Maybe Dave should make it a point to meet these ppl. He can have his own criteria when choosing these lucky ones..

Amber 5/5/2009 12:51:10 PM
What I would like to know, is how do you stop people from singing "Hy lyk vir my so baie na Tant Koeks se hoender haan" (among others) at the reception. I swear at my wedding, I'll personally get up and throw anyone out that sings. White wedding dress and all!!!! Dave - you seriously need to get a life, or a girlfriend, or both!

Dion 5/5/2009 12:52:44 PM
You should see the guests at all the weddings I perform. They sit down and mentally prepare to switch off. However within a few minutes I have them all laughing and the groom suffering even more. A wedding ceremony should be fun upbeat and true to the couple, not a religious service with a wedding tucked on the end. Search the web for a marriage officer who will do the wedding your way!

Melanie Joseph 5/5/2009 1:35:40 PM
Well hun,I believe weddings are sacred & it's a blessing from God, a joyeous occasion for family friends & is a unity & bond between two people that lovessssssss each other....Melanie J

Warren 5/5/2009 1:36:05 PM
I think the main point of the this article is that all the standard "wedding" stuff, preacher, hymns, solo by bff *sniffle*, father of the bride droning on can really begin to grate after 8 times - to that I can say AMEN! - as for Ant, what a chop - g.a.l boet and leave jesus and the saints where they belong - in a closed book of fiction. As for the those "deeply" in love - see about 65% of you in my colleague?s divorce practice before 2010 :)

biobot 5/5/2009 1:40:43 PM
Weddings are good for the heart. But bad for the liver.

Grant 5/5/2009 1:49:14 PM
None of my mates have been invited to my wedding....I won't put them through the pain. They will however all be at the bachelors cos that's where the parties at!

Angela 5/5/2009 2:06:52 PM
Dave, you must be going to the wrong kind of weddings. We got married in front of the bar at a fantastic restaurant. My wedding dress was black..and it was all about good food, great music and lots of fun. Without a doubt the best wedding I've ever been to. Didn't cost a fortune either!

throughly entertained 5/5/2009 2:14:57 PM
My word David , That article was truly funny and i could relate on so many levels Ant you such a chop you must be a auditor

johnson 5/5/2009 2:37:10 PM
Very insightful comments, Ant. More and more of David's angst and insecurities filter through each week. Humour is the classic cover up, so well observed! You are right and Jason and Dewie lack the depth to process anything other that at a superficial level. Bizarrely, they believe it has something to do with religion! I see the humour cover up all the time when I do counselling. It does help, but underlying angst seeps through!

Neall 5/5/2009 2:44:28 PM
David, I couldn't agree more, what a bore the traditional wedding is. The next time for me, will be a visit to the magistrate to get married, & then have a mother party as the reception without the speeches etc. As for Ant, what is this "order" you refer to? You must be from the military? I have been to an "African" wedding & what fun they have. It's the rhythem of the beating drum!!

CJ 5/5/2009 3:48:46 PM
the lawyers..

Shai 5/6/2009 4:54:53 PM
Cheers David, one of your best pieces yet

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