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David Moseley

A trip down memory lane

2009-06-16 09:01

I'm sitting on top of a hill in Grahamstown - though by the time you read this I'll be enjoying a hearty Wimpy breakfast somewhere along the N2 - watching the mist break apart slowly in the valley and waiting for the bloody hadeda that woke me up this morning to come closer so I can stab in the eye it with the braai fork I'm holding in my hand (I can type just as eloquently one-handed).

Apart from a single occasion where one of my digsmates made us a dinner of oil slicks, hard carrots and (her) hair, which she claimed was chicken soup, my memories of Grahamstown, if a little hazy, are largely of the happy variety. I studied here, so it's been a cheerfully nostalgic trip back to a town that holds a special place in my heart.

The "S" is still missing from the "Welcome to Grahamstown" sign as you come in off the N2, the donkey carts still amble down the streets, though the fleet seems to have been upgraded with a far healthier looking breed of ass to those of my era, and (Kev, you'll be pleased to know) the goddam staffie that used to keep our whole house away awake has still got it's head stuck through the front gate, whimpering for some attention (how long can those things possibly live for?).

The differences between now and then are telling, though. For one, you actually have to queue at the shops. But far more unsettling are the signs of fearful big city living inching their way across the small city landscape.

Everywhere you look security measures are migrating across Grahamstown like the slow-moving mist that engulfs seaside towns in horror stories, eventually smothering everything and leaving no one in doubt that something wicked this way comes.

Unsightly steel fences, venomous coils of barbed wire (the first thing I noticed outside my hold house - that and the fact that our old pet cow, Clarence, was gone), panic buttons dotted across the Rhodes campus and uninviting gates menacingly guarding driveways to once-quaint properties are all becoming part of the package here.

It seems, too, that you need a swipe card to enter some of the university faculty departments. A few years back you could just wander into the Journalism department through a wide-open front door, all you had to do was avoid the drama students being a tree and you were in.

I'm not naïve, and I'm not looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses. There was crime when I lived here too. Residences got robbed on occasion, Kevin's wheels got swiped off his car (which, until we sobered up, was pretty hilarious) and after three years of barely paying attention, I pretty much robbed the university of a degree. But it never felt like, or looked like, a panicked suburb of Cape Town or Joburg.

There are no booms or golf estates, thankfully, but walking around a sleepy town and spotting barbed wire, or the horrific sharpened tin-foil fence they're putting around DSG (which, on reflection is probably to protect the boys in town from the DSG girls) is slightly depressing.

This all comes hot on the heels of an interloper wandering around my mate's garden in Cape Town while his child and wife were playing around the corner. Luckily he was sick at home too and so chased away his sticky-fingered visitor.

He's now gone to "defcon five" in terms of security arrangements, installing interior gates, more electric fencing and purchasing an electric prodder that could jumpstart a Boeing. I give him a hard time about being the typical suburban whitey, living in fear that at any moment the disenchanted invading hordes will overrun their plush little world. But after seeing what I've seen in a dozy place like Grahamstown I’m more inclined towards his way of thinking.

I won't be stocking up on small arms, but you do have to ask where and how things can possibly improve, especially when our small towns are practically under siege from petty theft.

In his State of the Nation address, the increasingly impressive President JZ said that we must all fight crime. It's an entirely valid point, but when the have-nots are only increasing in numbers around the world, it's a little bit like King Canute trying turn back the tide with the flick of his wrist.

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Comment on this story


Biff 6/16/2009 9:46:14 AM
Those DSG girls sure are dangerous, I have been forced against my will to marry one! LOL

Suzy 6/16/2009 10:21:41 AM
If you're on hadeda patrol, please swing by my house as well!!

Johann 6/16/2009 10:29:09 AM
Nice read. :-)

Joe 6/16/2009 11:19:21 AM
I wonder whether Grahamstown follows the same crime patterns as for example PE (with NMMU/UPE) where the times of the year where tuition fees are due see spikes in robberies and burglaries in the surrounding neighbourhoods.

Heck even an ANC MP's son that was studying at UCT was last year bust for hijacking!

These students are the new kind of animal...

ben 6/16/2009 2:10:20 PM
cool read, varsity days were great - so little to worry about. bit about degree very funny

Jonathan 6/16/2009 2:19:31 PM
I've just moved to Grahamstown from Durban, and I hardly recognise Grahamstown from this article. Yes, they're replacing a (partly collapsed) chain-link fence with a more durable palisade fence around DSG's sports fields. Yes, some fearful big-city emigres have fortified their homes (it's noticeable where it's happened, because it's isolated houses whose neighbours don't have fences at all). It's still a town where you can (accidentally) leave your car parked overnight on a busy street, unlocked with the keys in the ignition, and find it still there in the morning. The card access to certain buildings has more to do with the amount of expensive and portable computer equipment in them than anything else; and given the size of campus and the tendency of students to wander round it late at night, drunk and in their party clothes, I think having call buttons for the Campus Protection Unit is a good move.

Anne 6/16/2009 5:41:54 PM
I hope you gave the staffie a pat on the head for all the nights you kept it awake with your parties?

Dee 6/16/2009 6:13:22 PM
Well written, just the laugh out loud I needed today! I also grew up in a small town and it seems they evolved from the same pattern and are going the same disturbed way now!

Mands 6/16/2009 6:54:13 PM
HAHAHA Great article. Thanks for the laugh. Need to get me one of those prodders though.

Flop 6/17/2009 8:05:04 AM
Yee boet. I remember those days down in lower Albany. There were only 2 seasons....cricket season and hunting season boet.

Neall 6/17/2009 9:38:41 AM
@ Joe. Your point is valid & disturbing, however, I can't understand why you & many other people always compare bad human behaviour to that of animals. Animals actually behave in a far superior manner than us so called intelligent humans. Animals don't go around robbing people or commiting barbaric acts against other animals.
To David, I agree with your concerns for what is happening in towns like G/Town, & sadly it will probably get worse, unless the Prez & his men & woman address crime & the social issues ASAP. That toen has so many educational institutions there, & of course the "have nots" are goinng to do their best to ensure theri plight is felt.
So for now, I say yest to extra security at the schools, as I have a niece @ DSG & a nephew starting at St Andrews next year. They are full time boarders, & so they must be kept safe.
On a lighter note, the Eastern Cape is still the best province. I hope to retire there one day.

Chop 6/17/2009 11:34:38 AM
Wake up you tool. My cousin was raped and shot in the face. All they took was the TV. It makes perfect sense that your friend does everything in his power to protect his family. Or would you have him wait until the day his wife and child get raped in his house while his being held at gunpoint in the next room?

Buckwheat 6/17/2009 2:27:49 PM
I was at school there in the 80's, and I was looking forward to a nice trip down memory lane, as you put it. More like a cautious creep through avenue harsh reality! Ah well, modern times and all that. haven't been back to g/town in all this time, but fun was had by all back then - down to streaking through DSG in the middle of the night after taking a leak (stark naked!) on the headmaster's front door. Whats happened to good clean fun?!! Oh, we were initiated too, or does that open up a can of worms?

Buckwheat @Joe 6/17/2009 2:39:19 PM
I see that a millionaire hijacker also recently had his chips cashed in - don't you just love poetic justice? lol

Mc 6/18/2009 8:32:40 AM
I spend a month and a half in the Cape this year. Ok, more the western part of the Cape. Most of the crime described there we don’t even notice up here anymore. Visiting the Western Cape always reminds me how desensitised we have become up here and how crime is part of our lives. For the record, I’m an average Joe, average house and average lifestyle. In the last 2 years I’ve been involved in 3 gun battles in my own yard. It’s normal, it's sad. Everyone always says there is no money in the Cape. Be thankful.
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