Don't fight with Terror

2008-10-07 11:30

David Moseley

I know Mr Lekota prefers to go by the name Mosiuoa these days, which is very presentable on the international stage and all. But I've always been a fan of his struggle name, Terror.

Now a guy named Terror is obviously called "terror" for a reason. He was either a fearsome goal-scorer in the ANC Struggle First Soccer XI, or, like Batman, he's struck fear and terror into the hearts of the dissident and evil over the years in fighting the good fight. Or maybe Conrad already had The Horror trademarked.

Anyway, the point is, if a guy's name is Terror, surely you don't slag him off in the press, or call for his head or even say boo to his goose, just because he's criticised the ANC leadership.

I can only assume that a man whose name means "person or thing that inspires great dread" and is also a synonym for "fear", "shock", and "fright", knows how to handle himself in a bout of fisticuffs, and certainly in the dead of the night when no one is around to hear you whimper like a little stranded pussy cat.

I can also further assume that Messrs Vavi and Nzimande (apparently the two men in South Africa who know the most about leading the country, but aren't particularly savvy in getting their points across) know that the "Terror" moniker is purely a stage name for instilling fear into the hearts of suburban whiteys, and that Mr Lekota is not actually that adept with a blow torch and a pair of pliers.

If not, I'd be locking the door at night boys.

Terror aside, the disunity amongst the ANC, while naturally unsettling for all of you without British passports (jokes), is creating some rather vivid imagery, especially in terms of the ANC's canvassing to ensure a stranglehold on the country.

Apparently, according to at least one-and-half reputable newspapers, a group of "disaffected ANC members were lying in wait" for Jacob Zuma (he changed his plans, so missed the appointment) to make an appearance in East London.

Perverse parody

Knowing the average ANC supporter's penchant for polite discourse when arguing a point, I'm not surprised JZ changed his plans. How exactly were these disaffected characters "lying in wait"? Were they hiding in the lush shrubbery at East London airport, ready to pelt the fearless leader with a chorus of boos, rotting veg and the words for a new song?

Better still... from the Argus, "key leaders were said to be fanning out across the country to explain the ANC's decision on Mbeki".

I can just picture the seen, ANC delegates with their keynotes tucked safely in their free ANC backpacks, swarming across the countryside, in a perverse parody of the Great Trek, with their green, gold and black flags, pins and baby-kissing techniques at the ready trying to persuade the fleeing hordes to stay, just a little bit longer.

Like door-to-door preachers (we always got Jehovah's Witnesses in my neighbourhood) asking if they can "speak to you about Jesus", I can imagine the ANC acolytes banging on doors asking for a moment of time to "speak to you about Thabo".

I'm terribly sorry but I don't have the time, where can I make the donation out to.

"No, no. We only want to explain the power the Jacob, and the glory of he ANC."

I'm sorry, I'm terribly busy. Would you like a piece of bread?

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