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Georgina Guedes

Breast is best, just not in public?

2009-06-25 12:03

In my column last week, I discussed the fact that Facebook regards breastfeeding as obscene and removes pictures of mothers nourishing their babies the way nature intended from the site.

In a bizarre case of life imitating the internet, the issue raised its head in Johannesburg newspapers this week, when a patron at Nice was asked to cover up after complaints were received from neighbouring tables.

The angry woman went to the papers with her story, and Carla Edgar, the owner responded to an interview saying that the woman's breast was showing when she wasn't breastfeeding. The woman responded that she had no reason to show her breast if she wasn't feeding her child.

Obviously, without having been there, I can't comment on what exactly took place. I do know that I have breastfed at Nice myself, and was approached by a very pleasant young waiter who said to me that they were perfectly happy with me feeding where I was, but if I would be more comfortable, there was a room at the back that I could use.

A lump of flesh

I imagine that this level of consideration and politeness is restaurant policy - and Nice is a baby and toddler-friendly place - so I'm not inclined to damn the owner after one incident that is receiving publicity.

At the same time, I continue to be horrified by the mindset of the general public in South Africa to nudity. A number of readers replied to my column last week saying that having sex and going to the loo are also perfectly natural, but we don't permit them happening in public - so the "breastfeeding is perfectly natural" argument doesn't hold water.

Granted, I wouldn't want someone relieving themselves in the middle of a restaurant, and sex is generally a loud and messy endeavour, so I'd prefer it if that was kept to private spaces as well, but with breastfeeding, the bodily fluids that are escaping are going straight into the baby, and the glimpse of nipple that is offered to onlookers is generally covered very quickly by an enthusiastic mouth.

A breast is merely a lump of flesh. Breastfeeding is a quiet and contained affair. People who find themselves offended by the feeding of a baby (and I still find this inexplicable) really can just look the other way. Believe me, we breastfeeding mothers don't want you gawping at us either - there's an entire restaurant full of other people for you to ogle.

Shameful or private?

In response to the article about the incident at Nice, News24 has run a survey today about breastfeeding in public. Although the survey isn't yet finished, the results are already heavily weighted towards "It's not on".

The only reason that people could find public breastfeeding offensive is if they find breasts to be sexual, because bottle feeding a baby certainly isn't frowned upon. How strange that a body part's primary function must be hidden away because people are concerned that they might get turned on by it.

And I continue to be saddened by the fact that feeding our babies in the way that nature intended, with a substance that is perfectly suited to being digested by them, is considered to be shameful or intensely private by the majority of South Africans - or at least, News24 readers.

- Georgina Guedes is a freelance journalist. She thinks that people who are offended by nudity spend far more time thinking about it than those who hardly notice it.

Send your comments to Georgina

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.

- News24


BLACKsoWHAT! 6/25/2009 12:16:50 PM
This is really a non issue, just breastfeed your baby when their hungry wherever you're cause no-one nevermind man will do it for you.

Breastbaby 6/25/2009 12:18:34 PM
All those patrons that complained obviously were jealous that they couldn't get a piece of the action. Trust me , mom's breasts are well worth the drama of being kicked out of NICE. All the guys at creche think I am famous and a real rebel .

Vic 6/25/2009 12:21:39 PM
I have no problem with it. I will watch you breastfeed anytime. Baby!

Nats 6/25/2009 12:22:57 PM
Well said, I agree with you totally.

CTheB 6/25/2009 12:24:12 PM
The attempts at comparison between something almost always done discreetly and blatantly having sex or relieving one's bladder, etc. in public are laughable. How stupid do people think we are? It's the same as claiming that (another apparently heinous crime) smacking one's child when he/she is naughty and pushing the child down a flight or two of stairs are equivalent.

leigh 6/25/2009 12:26:54 PM
I myself have breastfed in public places and have had no hassle, but the woman in question admits that the child doesn't like being covered by a shirt or a cloth as I did when breast feeding, so I have to agree with the restaurant that sitting there with your breast exposed while the child is in between feeding is not on. The child in question was also not a baby, it was 08/09 months. There is nothing wrong with breast feeding but there is something wrong with shoving it in everyone's face when they are paying for a meal in a public place.

LH 6/25/2009 12:29:20 PM
I can guarantee you if men were the ones who had to breastfeed it would be done on every street corner with great pride.

6/25/2009 12:30:15 PM
I agree, breastfeeding is a natural and important part of a babies growth but feel that it should be done with some discetion. I have seen women sitting in public areas with there whole boob hanging out and not even attempting to cover up slightly or just enough for you and baby to be confortable especially when we have our hot summer months.

Kingsley 6/25/2009 12:36:06 PM
I find it so hard to believe that this is such an issue. I mean what the hell do you think boobs were there for. People need to grow up and get involved in more serious issues. This is a complete waste of time.

SKB 6/25/2009 12:37:34 PM
I publically breastfed both of my daughters until they were about a year old and if you were sitting next to me you would not have known. It is very easy to cover up with a pretty sarong or scarf. In fact I have perfected the art of walking & feeding at the same time. Many times people would pull the scarf away slightly to look at the "sleeping baby" only to discover Baby's lunch being served! If I have another child I will certainly adopt the same practice again.

Frank 6/25/2009 12:38:13 PM
Ahh but being completely naked is also the natural way to go and yet that's also frowned upon ;). I myself don't mind a women breastfeeding in public as long as it is all nice and covered. I've been to several restaurants across SA where women breastfed their babies and (I'm going to generalise here) AFRICAN women tend to have a blanket to cover the whole feeding frenzy the EUROPEAN women tend to flaunt it. Believe you me I also don't want to ogle at you and your breasts but unfortunatly sometimes that's what's in your prerifral vision at that moment. Idon't know about you but someone eating while food is spilling all over is just as offputting so why should we be happy with breastfeeding while I'm trying to enjoy my dinner as well? Cover up ladies and the world will be a better place.

mevhana 6/25/2009 12:39:14 PM
I have a baby of 7mnth, my baby doesn't like bottle feeding at all and prefers breast milk.Do poeple think that during this period i should be house bound?There is no women who can deliberately expose her breast other than feeding a baby on demand or to simpy calm him/her.

werner 6/25/2009 12:40:29 PM
I fully agree with your article, Georgina.
Ppl should grow up, after all, we are in africa.

AJ 6/25/2009 12:41:33 PM
I don't know how anyone can be offended by this to be honest. It's not vulgar, obscene, unnatural or offensive in any way I can fathom.

In fact, I think more women should get their boobs out far more often, for no reason at all other than they are a damn sight more pleasant to look at than the usual sour faces and ugly fashions usually on display :)

Mullets offend my sensibilities... boobs not so much.

Boni 6/25/2009 12:41:47 PM
"How strange that a body part's primary function must be hidden away because people are concerned that they might get turned on by it". DITTO, people must get a life. im definately going to do it with my next child.

georgejack 6/25/2009 12:42:00 PM
@Leigh- I suppose breast feeding is the same as UGLY looking people in this case----Nothing wrong with it , but only when they shove it in peoples face that are paying for a meal in a public place...for goodness sake , Ugly looking people please put a paper bag over your face while I'm eating - I just might gag up my meal.

Will 6/25/2009 12:42:54 PM
I fully agree with you. I fail to understand the taboos around nudity and especially breast feeding in South African society.

People in this country need a bit more fiber in their diets :)

rv 6/25/2009 12:44:04 PM
breastfeeding should simply be done with discretion, and most definitely not in an eatery while people are eating. Parents must respect that not everyone has kids and some find this most off putting. It doesn't need to be justified, just respected. It's reallly that simple.

AlsoMom 6/25/2009 12:45:21 PM
I would NEVER breastfeed in public. Men are way too obsessed with boobs - See Vic's comments to support that opinion.
Please cover up, really not on doing it in public. Pretty much like I wouldn't have sex in a public place, so I won't breastfeed in a public place either. Women these days have an attitude of "Oh, I'm feeding my child!!! Am I not allowed to do that?!?!?" and get all indignant because someone asks them to please put their boob away.
Really, time and place for everything and while I agree that breastfeeding is great, JUST NOT IN PUBLIC!!! It's the equivalent of walking around topless on the beach as that is the way that most mother's do it.

Lila 6/25/2009 12:55:04 PM
A woman's breasts are meant for breastfeeding - so why are people so offended?

Janette 6/25/2009 12:56:23 PM
Breastfeeding is natural, but you do not have to do the Fashion thing and feed in public, it should be used as a time for bonding, taking time out and generally spending quality time with your baby. Feeding a baby in public is none of the above, just convienence. I breastfeed as well, and basically planned my life that I could feed in private and not infringe on other people. Not everyone think children and babies are cute, I personally get very irritated when I go to a restuarant etc and there is a crying baby or a kid having a tantrum. It has become a Fashion statement-"I breastfeed in public, do you"

Anti-breastfeeding in public 6/25/2009 12:58:25 PM
Bad planning by mothers of babies causes them to breastfeed babies in public. Feed your child at home before you go out and make sure you are back home when the next feeding session is to occur. And don't tell me that it is inconvenient. You can bite the bullet for a few months. Breast milk in a bottle is another alternative.

Cheryl 6/25/2009 12:59:24 PM
I did not go out of my way to breastfeed in public because I am shy. When I was in a coffe shop or somewhere in public, and my child was hungry... I fed him in his slingand covered up with a shawl, so what is the big deal?? My African and Indian friends feed without even blinking an eye, its as natural as blowing your nose or sneezing... we all do that in public.

Guy 6/25/2009 1:01:45 PM
So the six out of ten diners who do not want to see your hanging boob whilst dining must now defer to you? If you want to join the urinate/defecate in public crowd, move to your local squatter camp and let the civilised people be. If something you are doing bothers other people, why must they (plural, look it up) back down for you (singular look it up)? And no, I'm not a male pig, I open doors for my wife everytime and she agrees with me.

CARL 6/25/2009 1:01:49 PM
What planet are you living on? Of course breasts are sexual! Ask any hot blooded man. Is that not why the Hollywood stars have this fixation with bigger and firmer. Dont tell me its to look good for yourself. You want some male to ogle you. Breastfeeding in public is inconsiderate and shows lack of preparation on part of the mother as well as a devil may care attitude. I know its part of the African Culture, but you are not African are you....and please dont enter into the what is African and what is not? debate!

Steve 6/25/2009 1:04:06 PM
What a ridculous article. How can you reconcile urinating in public being different from breastfeeding when you say breastfeeding is natural, isnt urinating also natural then? How else do I rid my body of waste? Yet we will all agree urinating in public is not ok. A wifes breast is a private part of the body no matter what she uses it for.

Morne 6/25/2009 1:04:09 PM
My wife breastfeeds. In public we get out a small lightweight blanket to cover up, which can occasionally be pulled down by our over-active angel, giving you a glimpse of the back of a baby’s head.
If your imagination runs wild about what's going on underneath that blanket, please don't go to a beach - the sight of a string bikini will most likely fry your small brain.
Suggesting that this is an activity that we should take 'elsewhere' like the wonderful, o-so-clean public bathrooms will get you a thump on the nose (my wife can get fairly aggro).
Unfortunately, as the poll suggest, most South Africans are still pea-brained morons that project their own diseased little fantasies / delusions onto a perfectly natural and quite beautiful God-given mother-child bonding.
The problem does not lie with the mother - it lies with yourself.

Nick 6/25/2009 1:06:24 PM
Yes, some people are grossed out by women breastfeeding in public and rightly so. Why should they have to be forced to look at your baby-drool covered breast when they are sitting in a restaurant? The problem is that people who have babies think they own the world - guess what you don't. Just because you've decided to have offspring doesn't make you special at all. Go feed your little brat in the privacy of your own home.

Fred 6/25/2009 1:07:10 PM
If the argument is all about it being natural, then surely wearing clothes is the most unnatural, non-offending similarity. I wasn't born wearing clothes and I'm fairly certain neither were the mother and child in question. Then why is it that we all wear them?! Perhaps it has something to do with the standards placed upon us as a society? The same standards that apply to breast feeding...

Sam F 6/25/2009 1:08:06 PM
There are so many ladies out there who won't breastfeed because of what people think or say - its absolute nonsense - breastfeeding is the best for your baby and if people don't respect that, then that is there problem - feed where ever you like and when you like, I do it all the time.

Rebecca 6/25/2009 1:08:09 PM
Every time I go to the mall I see women breastfeeding openly for all to see their boobs. How come no one complains about this? No public outcry! No mall management asking them to go to the (dirty) toilets.

I breastfed both my kids, but am not in the habit of showing my breasts publicly, so I covered them up as best I could. And if someone saw, I'm really sorry, but my baby's welfare comes before anything else!

Some readers are suggesting breastfeeding mothers shouldn't even dare venture out of the house while breastfeeding. OMG! Just don't look people!

CTheB 6/25/2009 1:08:19 PM
@Leigh - 8 or 9 months old not a baby? What then is the proper term for a child of that age? Is a child a baby only until they're 1 month old? 2 months?

charlie 6/25/2009 1:11:20 PM
Breastfeeding should be done in private, where the mother and baby can sit and relax. I would find it very uncomfortable to catch a glimpse of a mother breastfeeding in a public place especially a restaurant. If baby is going to be hungry when you are out plan to go somewhere quiet and private.

Michael 6/25/2009 1:12:16 PM
Obviously there is differing opinions regarding this. The point is that you can't dictate what should be offensive and what not. If you are offending someone with your breastfeeding in a restaurant, even if you think they are silly, you should respect them for their opinion.

Dave 6/25/2009 1:14:50 PM
Although I fully agree that breastfeeding is totally fine, we have to remember that modern "civilised" people do not like to be reminded that we are in fact, however evolved we might think we are, still animals.

Robert 6/25/2009 1:16:41 PM
I think you hit the nail on the head when you reference people's response to nudity. And here I always thought that naked people were naked people. Never thought that was a suggestion of anything else... certainly not in this case. It's all about suggestion and that can be done fully (or even at times just legally) clothed.

David 6/25/2009 1:17:36 PM
I really think that people are blowing this way out of proportion. I doubt that many people would mind (especially not men!) if they saw it. And it seems perfectly acceptable to show pictures of women's breasts in the papers about local cultural ceremonies, i.e. read dance etc. Saw yesterday in the Star, about the Mpumalanga politacl ceremony, where a breast were clearly pictured...
I am really, why is everyone so afraid about ourselves and natural activities..?

Morgan 6/25/2009 1:18:14 PM
Just because it is natural, doesn't mean it should be public. Urinating, number 2 and sex is also natural bodily functions. Shouldn't those then be allowed in public too?
"This is really a non issue, just breastfeed your baby when their hungry wherever you're cause no-one nevermind man will do it for you. "

So whenever I have some sort of natural bodily need, I have the right to do it just there and then?????

Maia 6/25/2009 1:20:54 PM
People should stop likening breasfeeding to having sex and defacating. It is simply the act of a baby eating. It is not sexual. The mother doesn't breasfeed in a public place because she can't control herself, but because the baby demands it. Everybody knows that babies and small children cannot control their bodily functions and their urges and it is ridiculous for grown men to compare their sexual urges to a baby's hunger.

Anonymouse 6/25/2009 1:24:17 PM
@LH 12.29: spot on! thats such an astute observation!
PS im male!

Karen 6/25/2009 1:26:16 PM
Yes, Georgina, breast are sexual - this should be no revelation to you. Grow up girl. We are trying to be civilised advanced beings. When we resort to animalistic behaviour, which I agree we do as we are, afterall just animals, we do so in private. I cannot understand why others don't understand that this is not on. I realise that it is necessary and best for the baby, but so are the other primitive behaviours and yet we all understand that these should be kept behind doors. Not everybody gets all mushy about breastfeeding are some people a actually repulsed by it - both men and woman. Be considerate, and civilised. It just takes a of fore thought and planning. Yes there are times when it is inconvenient, but you work around it. If your baby is having a niggly day and you breastfeed for comfort, then you can't go out - tough. Mothers make sacrifices and this is only the beginning. I did, so why is it so difficult for others to do so?

leslie 6/25/2009 1:26:43 PM
I wouldn't worry about breast feeding in public,i would rather worry about how your tits are going to sag after you stop breast feeding

@Rebecca 6/25/2009 1:29:04 PM
Please see Nicks message (sent at 1.06.24). This applies to you.

SANDY 6/25/2009 1:34:05 PM
why is it okay to look at puppies or wild animals feeding from their mother but no humans?

J 6/25/2009 1:36:13 PM
Good article, and I'm glad there's a forum where we can comment on the "not so Nice?" incident.

Let me start by saying that I have no problem with women discreetly breastfeeding in public, when need be (appropriately covered or concealed breast, not going out of their way to draw attention etc).
In fact, I hope to be able to do this myself one day.

BUT I have noticed that those people who are more comfortable with their bodies than others (some, not all) tend to flaunt when breastfeeding- not to incite lust, but to make a statement ("I'm doing this because I can. Deal with it"). That brings an awkwardness into a public setting, such as a restaurant, that really shouldn't be there. I'm sorry, but THAT is not on.

As for the Nice incident- I am there almost every weekend. I know the owner by sight but am not friendly (or otherwise) with her- so have no reason to defend her or otherwise. She has always been courteous (even with people whose dogs or kids are causing mayhem), as are the waitrons, and Nice is, at least amongst my peers, known to be a place where a bit of mayhem is not frowned upon. I can only conclude that the woman in question must have been exposing herself too much and/or causing a scene. Her need for attention is apparent in the fact that she went to a significant publication to complain about a restaurant breastfeeding incident. Photo and everything. Moreover, if her child was as hurt by the coffee burn as she claims, why did she continue to sit at the table and breastfeed? Why not take the poor child home, to the car for a bit, outside for a quick walk, or to Nice's breastfeeding area, to soothe her? Why keep her in a packed restaurant, with people staring, the coffee still there etc?

Come ON!

Marc 6/25/2009 1:36:36 PM
I find that totally gross, am i allowed or do i have to ask permission from the thought police?

please respect my visual space, specially when i eat.

Thank you.

Neil 6/25/2009 1:46:23 PM
Not on. Don't want to see it. Go to the restroom if you need to. I'm not going to move my chair back a bit, open my legs a bit and scratch my balls in front of everyone.

Truth 6/25/2009 1:50:02 PM
It is natural yes, however we have decided that it's preferable that we don't see most people do certain things, whether they are natural or not. That is evolution, and thats also natural. I want to be able to choose not to see something I might be repulsed by. Is that too much to ask? Think worst case scenarios and you will know why I want access to that choice. Sure, a hot 19 yr old swedish bombshell who doesn't look like she was ever pregnant can breast feed infront of me anytime, but if I have to put up with the vast majority of new mothers whipping their breasts out, I would rather ban it all together. Ugly nudity is like a car accident, you wanna look away but can't =\

Honey 6/25/2009 1:52:20 PM
With all the slings and breastfeeding tops available these days it isn't necessary to sit there with your breast showing. You can even just cover things with a baby blanket. Yes, breastfeeding is best, but as with smoking and using cellphones, it should be done with others in mind. My 4 month old gets bottle fed when we go out because I feel breastfeeding is a private moment between you and your child. This child was old enough to have a bottle or wait till they get home. I get the feeling this was more about showing off rather than the breastfeeding itself.

Colleen Figg 6/25/2009 1:52:56 PM
Why should/does a mother not use the facilities available for breastfeeding? I had three children and never once breastfed any of them in a restaurant!

Respect 6/25/2009 1:53:33 PM
THERE ARE THINGS YOU DO IN A RESTAURANT AND THINGS YOU DONT , IF I WAS THERE I WOULD HAVE DEMANDED THIS WOMAN TO PAY FOR MY FOOD AS SHE WOULD HAVE PUT ME RIGHT OFF HAVING A MEAL

Percival J 6/25/2009 1:56:02 PM
@Frank & Morne & Cheryl.I agree with frank that a little cover up will do. However, i am shocked by those who advocate a total ban on breastfeeding in public is "uncivilised" and those who want to do it must go to informal settlements. It si a fact that most africans do not regard showing breasts in public as deeply offensive (see SABC programmes on Sundays). It si only the western and euro-centrics who always find it offensive.All my siblings where breastfed in front of me at home and i was never taught breastfeeding has any sexual connotations.To the contrary, i find wearing only a bra and a bikini at the beach very offensive (and suprised that the "civilised" people seem content or happy with it).If it was my wife who sffured this blatantly discriminatory attitude - i will be at the equalitity courts.

Emma 6/25/2009 2:01:57 PM
I totally agree with breastfeeding, but I have spent many moments cooped up in a smelly toilet cubicle just so that I can feed my child. We all have to eat. Perhaps if the restaurants bothered to put a chair in the their toilet facilities it might encourage us to use them. Look, if you absolutely have to sit at the table, then please cover up, just a little bit, for you and the people around you.

Sean 6/25/2009 2:03:36 PM
I'm so glad that with all the poverty, disease and crime in SA and with the world in the midst of a recession, you're only concern seems to be peoples perceptions of breast feeding. Just had a baby perhaps? Feeling judged? I dont get this. I dont get you. Gah.

Amber 6/25/2009 2:08:25 PM
@AlsoMom: I so agree with you!!! and no, "it's natural" doesn't hold water! I don't like to see women breastfeeding in public. don't you have any shame? Georgina, I normally agree with you, but not on this subject.

lump of flesh 6/25/2009 2:16:19 PM
Maybe the restaurants should charge the equivalent of 'corkage' to allow you to bring your own ‘food‘ into their establishment?

mxo 6/25/2009 2:18:55 PM
The people who want a breast feeding mother to cover her baby do they cover themselves when they are eating in public. These are the same people you will find "sucking" their cancerous cigarattes in public. Viva public breast feeding

Oom Koosie 6/25/2009 2:19:10 PM
Put your money where your mouth is. SHOW US TEH BEWBIES. (I don't really want to see them, I just want to prove to you that you are a hypocrite.)

Taz 6/25/2009 2:19:35 PM
I have a sister-in-law who perfectly displayed how some mothers do not quietly and discreetly breastfeed in public. She would always insist on making a total spectacle of her 'right to breastfeed her baby'. Chairs had to be shifted, people had to move out of 'her' way, boobs on display. She loved the attention and the fact is that there are other woman just like her. I have had two babies and breastfeed by turning in my chair and not drawing attention to myself or making use of a quiet room/area. You may find breastfeeding your baby the most natural thing , but since other people do not share your maternal bond they probably find the whole thing gross to have to watch- I know I do !!!!!!

lindi 6/25/2009 2:26:42 PM
So you don't want people to ogle you, but you want to feed your baby in public? Just because you decided to have a kid, doesn't mean the world now suddenly revolves around you. I really don't want to see any stranger breastfeeding their baby.

Michelle 6/25/2009 2:30:35 PM
I also thought there was waaaayyyy too much hype surrounding this topic...until I enquired from a few of my colleagues what they thought about it. And some were very VERY pro-public breasfeeding. Needless to say these were males. Therein lies the answer - it wouldn't be so bad if men didn't feel the need to oggle!
Apart from that, I cannot, for the life of me, understand why breastfeeding women can't just excuse themselves to the ladies when their children become hungry and restless. Just a suggestion?

Tank 6/25/2009 2:33:46 PM
So basically you are saying that if any-one's opinions differs from yours then they are wrong. What a open minded person you are. I wish we could all be like you.

Mandy to @ Janette 12:56. 6/25/2009 2:33:59 PM
Oh well said. Thank you. Finally a like-minded person. Yes people take not. Not everybody thinks your baby or toddler is cute.

ABE 6/25/2009 2:34:50 PM
@ Leigh I really doubt u are a mother! Get u're facts straight 1st then you can comment on this topic. Nudity & breastfeeding guys r totally different. If the child doesn't wnt to be covered wht shud 1 do, leave the baby to stuff to death because of someone else bull, it's not like you,ve got the nipple wondering out without total cover it's in the mouth. The only thing the next person sees is the brown or white skin, that u normally show off as a cleavage everyday. So dn't come & tell us that breastfeeding without covering that skin is not on, the cleavage is not ON!

julie 6/25/2009 2:34:56 PM
It is sometimes impossible to plan your outing around feeding your baby and so there are times when you would have to feed them when you are out. It seems to be a no win situation for us moms. Breastfeeding in public or a screaming baby, both of which get rude stares. What are we to do stay home. Breastfeeding is best.

Bertha 6/25/2009 2:37:11 PM
I feel really there is nothing wrong with public breastfeeding.Anyone who gets sexual arousal is just being cruel and lacks values. We have to breasfeed our young ones and not subject them to sexual issues, all human species were born from a woman and 99%grew up from breastfeeding.Let's respect our babies by feeding them whever they feel hungry or sad without us having to worry about associating them with lusful monsters.As for resturants!!!! Are you really higienic? Not always.

OLDSKOOLMAMA 6/25/2009 2:39:56 PM
I breastfed my daughter in public...so what?! I DO however believe in something called "discreet feeding" .My daughter also didnt like being under a blanket after a certain age, but I would cover up as best I could, and then keep her focussed on feeding by talking to her or singing, not being distracted by conversations with anyone else while my child goes digging for gold. In the beginning I tried out many of the "mommy and baby rooms" in various malls around Cape Town, and was disgusted by most. Most restaurants dont even have one, and I was referred to the Ladies toilets on more than one occasion. If any of the adults who complain about breastfeeding in public are prepared to have their dinner served in a toilet or restroom then I would be willing to feed my child there. As for making sure that your child is not hungry when you go out...thats laughable, as there are grown people who are incapable of controlling their appetites, so how can you expect it of a child!?!?!? Such ignorance is the reason why so many babies are not breastfed anymore, and any breastfeeding mother will tell you all the benefits that are lost!

Dr Fil 6/25/2009 2:40:39 PM
I still like breast feeding but if i did it in public with my girlfriend, it would be frowned upon. Maybe my age has something to do with it

Chris 6/25/2009 2:43:16 PM
Breastfeed in public by all means. If baby is hungry, he or she must be fed. But at least be considerate to other people by covering up. You should not force what you want onto other people. I really don't want to catch glimpses of some woman's nipple while I am having my dinner.

Tim 6/25/2009 2:44:44 PM
A restaurant isn't exactly a public place, people are paying to be there for the atmosphere. There are a lot of things that are 'natural' that I don't want to see while I am eating.

CTheB 6/25/2009 2:47:08 PM
So, breastfeeding and defecating are equivalent? Then killing a person must be equivalent to killing a fly or a plant. I'm curious to know how you've managed to live long enough to learn to read and write without ever eating anything. You're going to be rich!

Tori 6/25/2009 2:48:49 PM
hey georgi. i wrote about this very thing 2 weeks ago. you should check it out, and the outrage on parent24! not just news24 users who disapprove...
http://www.parent24.com/Content/Baby/Breastfeeding/450/b2baf2cad6204c0f8f01c0f9c1845c72/15-06-2009%2003-06/Boobs_on_display

Mthunzi 6/25/2009 2:58:42 PM
What's the big deal?....open any tourist book on South Africa and you're bound to see bare-breasted maidens. Beautiful and nothing sexual about it. Then people bitch about a woman breastfeeding??? WTF?

Lerato 6/25/2009 3:03:30 PM
I really can't believe that people think this is a big deal. Black women used to walk around bare breasted, and still do when performing cultural dances. We have never really seen breasts as something to be covered up, and I don;t think that is ever going to change. That is why you will see black women in busses, taxis, anywhere really, breastfeeding their children. No one looks down at them or even bats an eyelash. When you are in Africa, do as teh Africans do. Do not try to impose your traditions on other people. I know a lot of non-african people also don't ahve issues with this, which means they have assimilated well into Africa and the way things are done. So if you have issues about breastfeeding when you are in Africa, you know what to do.

Joe 6/25/2009 3:07:39 PM
You all talking nonsense and its all about trying to be a show-off or pretending to be so new-age. If you want to breastfeed, go to the room provided. The rest of the people there came to eat a meal (and yes they may find it offensive which is their right) not view something that is between a mother and her child. Next you will want to clear the table so you can change the nappy - I mean it’s natural too! Please!

Jonno 6/25/2009 3:07:50 PM
This is silly, Women who do not have a problem with breastfeeding in public, please do so...Guys, please feel free to stare at their naked breasts! Unashamed! Do it, they like it...

Gerhard 6/25/2009 3:08:38 PM
A boob is not a sexual object, just for breast feeding? We, I dont know about that. So lets say you had two kids and lets say you breastfeeded them for say like i year altogether. Your husband/boyfriend did not appreciate them the rest of the time...Oh, well, for me it is part of foreplay, but that just me...

Jack 6/25/2009 3:09:06 PM
Georgina, are you a nudist?

Kathleen 6/25/2009 3:10:31 PM
"A breast is merely a lump of flesh". So is someone's rear end, and I have no wish to see that when I'm eating, thanks!

CTheB 6/25/2009 3:21:43 PM
You know what's really offensive when done in public? What many, many people really don't want to have to see? What those who do it really ought to do in a private place where they can be comfortable? Smoking. I mean, who wants to see some idiot dragging a bunch of poison into their lungs and then spewing whatever they don't absorb into the atmosphere? Or do we all still live in barns?
If you're going go out and you know you're going to choose to smoke a cigarette, plan to go somewhere quiet and private.

Len 6/25/2009 3:22:59 PM
This is only a problem to white people, and hence cannot denote the feelings of the majority. It is unfair to lump us altogether because some racial groups lack understanding of the needs of children

Birdman 6/25/2009 3:24:37 PM
Georgna. Did you whip out a breast in full view of everyone or did you do it sensibly,discretely and have a blanket over your shoulder? I bet you did and nobody took offence. You could have used a room for this as it was offered by the establishment. Not all breasts are works of art and to have some person whip out her dugs without consideration of others who are eating is just bad manners. Feeding is a mother/child/family bonding activity not a public display.

Themba 6/25/2009 3:27:15 PM
@Michael
So, if I am offended by the way you chew, do I have a right to dictate to you how you should chew. After all, it is more disgusting to watch you chew than to watch a mother providing sustenance to their child.
Some people scratch themselves in restaurants, answer their cellular-phones, make loud noises when seeping their coffee, but somehow feeding a child is up to others to decide? What are you?
Also, what about public kissing and public holding of hands? It is sexual in nature, and yet we are often given more than we care for views of people kissing each other in restaurants. A mouth can be used as a sexual tool, so perhaps mouths should be covered in public. How bloody ridiculous!!!

craig 6/25/2009 3:29:49 PM
It is the most natural thing there is. It is a SMALL person eating. Without eating you will not need to poo and will not have any energy for sex...Maybe the people that find it offensive should have a look at how they eat. they would be quite disgusted as well. My wife breast fed both our boys, anywhere any place and any time. Only ONCE was she asked to throw a "burp" towel over the baby. Get with it. Breast is best...

jeremy 6/25/2009 3:31:42 PM
Hey sex is also ok, but I don't want to see it in public. I saw women breastfeeding without revealing themselves.

Anon 6/25/2009 3:40:21 PM
I have no issues with breastfeeding in public as long as a woman is covered up. I do have a problem with the 'breastfeeding is so natural - everyone look at my boobs' approach that some woman have. Its embarrasing for other people. I wish people would stop about the breast feeding is natural business! Of course its natural dammit but it doesn't mean that everyone must see it.

Lor 6/25/2009 3:42:23 PM
I have a problem with the fact that everyone is focusing on the right to breastfeed and not on general courtesy!! I never had cause to breastfeed in public - I planned my life around feeds or took myself off to a quiet spot, out of consideration for others. It's not all about you Mom. There are other people around who have rights. Cover up or do it in private - heaven's sake!!

Brenton 6/25/2009 3:54:42 PM
Woman suntan topless on the beach nobody says anything about that yet when a baby is hungry people think it wrong to feed that child it not like the woman is parading around the restuarant exposing herself Both my kids are breast fed kids and my wife has walked around woolworths with the child on the breast with a blanket over the child and her breast. The blacks dont seem to worry about exposing themselves on post cards etc nothing gets said about that I have never known such a narrow minded bunch in all my life especially Nick who obviosly does not have a clue about kids or what is good for them I feel for his wife one day she will be locked in a room to feed the child there is more to life than having to worry about a mother feeding her child

Chris 6/25/2009 3:59:16 PM
Well said Georgina.

SA is repressed

Nos 6/25/2009 4:08:12 PM
Georgina,

Let me first say that I'm not voicing an opinion either for or against breastfeeding in public. But if you want to make an argument in support of breastfeeding in public you are going about it the wrong way. Your argument is essentially: 1. Breastfeeding is natural. 2. Natural things are good/morally correct. Therefore breast feeding in public is good and morally correct. Apart from the problem of leaping from breastfeeding is good to breastfeeding in public is good, all your argument boils down to is a fallacious appeal to nature. As we know, not all natural things are good.
I doubt one could make a convincing case one way or the other, it seems to boil down to personal values.

Giggle 6/25/2009 4:45:36 PM
One has to giggle at all this. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR BOOB - not as a "lump of flesh" or as a "natural feeding machine". Some people see it as a sexual object others don't. Cover yourself!!!

Ilana 6/25/2009 4:49:52 PM
I aggree with your article. I found myself breastfeeding in public due to my babies needs, but covering up with a blanket or cloth nappy. It is absurd of people to expect breastfeeding moms to only leave the house between feeds. You can't always dictate when your baby would want to feed, and then need to rush around to run your errands or go somewhere for lunch on a family outing, only to keep watching the time to get home in time for the next feed. With regards to what everyone is saying about not urinating in public, you cannot compare it... doesn't the same go for feeding our babies in the toilets. Do you guys eat in the toilets? ....why should babies be expected to "eat" in the toilets? It also takes time for a baby to be fed sufficiently and to find yourself sitting in a dreary little room, while your partner has to wait for you somewhere outside, doesn't quite make it a relaxed, bonding time for mom and baby. Why do moms need to feed in private due to others inhibitions, when mom can relax, chat and finish a meal while baby is peacefully feeding? I do aggree not to do it distastefully and to cover up at least.

sido 6/25/2009 5:11:09 PM
WHAT RUBBISH - WHY DONT WE ALL JUST WALK NAKED WHILE WE ARE AT IT - FEED YOUR BABY BEFORE YOU GO OUT IN PUBLIC - IF HE CRIES - GIVE HIM A RATTLE - WE RAISED 5 BOYS AND WE NEVER HAD A SHOW OF FLESH IN PUBLIC

Nick 6/25/2009 5:17:44 PM
It's absurd. The woman is off her rocker, we're not living in the dark ages for heavens sake! She should be told she's not welcome.

Kohr-Ah 6/25/2009 5:38:36 PM
For those of you who insist on moms breastfeeding their infants in private, keep in mind that what you're essentially doing is trying to take away another person's liberty. Argument by consensus does not automatically make a group of people correct (especially if they're attacking liberty).

morne 6/25/2009 6:16:02 PM
Although i like the sight of a woman's breast I'd rather not choose to view it while I'm eating. Doesnt matter whether she's breastfeeding or not. Breastfeeding can be the most natural thing for certain people and maybe it is,...but please not infront of other human beings specially while they're eating.

G 6/25/2009 6:39:42 PM
I must be missing something Neil ??? Your comment:
6/25/2009 1:46:23 PM
Not on. Don't want to see it. Go to the restroom if you need to. I'm not going to move my chair back a bit, open my legs a bit and scratch my balls in front of everyone.
What exactly are you on about, clearly you have missed the boat completely, take a moment and actually read what is going on instead of just thinking BooBs !! You idiot

Annoniem 6/25/2009 6:57:54 PM
OM te beweer dat die vroulike bors en tepel slegs 'n liggaansmassa is, sou dieselfde wees on te se^ dat die manlike en vroulike geslagsdele/urienwee slegs liggaamsmasssas is en aangesien dit absoluut natuurlik en noodsaaklik is om te urineer en dus kan dit goedskiks in die openbaar geskied. As die menslike geslagdele/urienwee egter as dubbeldoelig beskou word dan word dit geredelik aanvaar dat die geslagsdaad onafgesien of dit rustig of uitbundig plaasvind, sowel as om te urineer oordentlikheidhalwe in privaatheid geskied. Netso is die menslike boste en veral die tepels van die vrou dubbeldoelig en dus sou die ontblooting daarvan vir welke van die doeleindes ookal verkieslik in privaatheid geskied. Daar is natuurlik ook maniere EN maniere van borsvoed.

Dave 6/25/2009 7:43:04 PM
South Africans are so backward. In Norway mothers breastfeed discreetly, but in public, and no one is offended. Seems like the frumps here think moms should either stay at home all day or breastfeed under a burka. Or worse, feed them formula. And no, this laviscious behaviour hasn't led to humping in the restaurants in Norway.

Willy in PE 6/25/2009 7:47:42 PM
How DARE you call a woman's breast "a lump of flesh" ? !!!!! The modern woman's breast is NOT for breastfeeding. There are numerious very good alternatives for mother's milk. BUT if you breastfeed you will mess up your breast for the rest of your life and they sould be a joy to you and your husband for the rest of your life. How stupid can a woman be to live with sagging formless breast yust to say "I breastfed my baby but stopped when the blood came out of it and then switched to a formula" YOUNG MOMS DON'T DO IT !!!! YOU WILL BE SORRY!!!

nicolas Dipricalas 6/25/2009 10:44:50 PM
A breast is NOT a lump of flesh. Lumps of flesh does not have nipples.
However, I agree. Breast is best, ESPECIALLY in public. You go girls!!


Tina 6/25/2009 10:46:10 PM
I breastfed both mine. When in places like malls, feeding little ones are no longer a issue. Most of the malls do have facilities where you can go and feed the littel one. In any way, most of the time feeding goes along with changing nappies.... and that's to be done in private. And what mother don't appreciate a "valid" excuse to escape from the rush quickly? The difficult times were at Church in the mother's room. There I kept a blankie over and turned my back also as needed. Same went when visiting at friends/ family. Found a room and close the door behind my back.

Wayne Dadda Bear 6/25/2009 11:30:20 PM
mmmm I really wanted to through this one open. But yes a but a CHILD must be soothed,fed,comforted it is so small so innocent so frail. The child in the article only knows touch (the coffee burn) soothing and perhaps after a little baby shock a little hunger or wanting some mamma milk !!! to calm baba down. jeezz people I want to ask one Q if this is such an issue a bit of tit in public why does no one have a litle SA shit fit when someone pee pee's at the traffic lights dong out helloooo africa at 06h50 in peek traffic every bloody morniIng!!! I personally think "you got kids you can understand, if you do not have kids and you DO understand, you are compassionate. If you still disagree well SHit you wud probably drown a crying kid before mom and dad got home.... becareful who watches your kids!!!! Only a real (and yes people I am not saying NATURAL!! only a real geniune I give up my shit kinda mom and dad will get this !!!!) oh yes and the good aunties and uncles bla bla bla y must I explain myself?? oh dear tit is number one better than baby is a novelty or fashion accessory! my opinion in closing ... kid was in distress.. and Momma knew best!!

AJ 6/26/2009 7:14:32 AM
There is difference between your breatsts hanging out all over the place versus discreetly breastfeeding in public with a towel for example. I eat in public, why can my children not do so either. Discreet breastfeeding in public is a win win for all.

Peter 6/26/2009 7:15:55 AM
If showing your breast while breastfeeding in public is not a problem then why don't you just walk around naked. I thought you were intelligent enough to figure that out. It is not acceptable and that is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

AJ 6/26/2009 7:21:37 AM
I have a hard time understanding why people dont stare at others in a restauarant, but suddenly a breatfeeding woman is 'shoving it in your face etc etc' - I think it says more about you than the woman feeding her child. Stop staring at people and mind your own business.

AJ @Themba 6/26/2009 7:23:55 AM
Nicely put Themba!! - the hypocracy is shocking out there. (as if mothers should be chained at home whilst others patrons can slurp and scratch themselves wallowing in their freedom.)

Kevin 6/26/2009 7:27:41 AM
a penis is also just a "lump of flesh", as you so quaintly put it. so can guys just display their dongs in public places aswell?

Lindiwe 6/26/2009 7:30:28 AM
This seems to be a problem for white people only. There is no black person who would see that as a problem because they dont associate every body part with sex.Sorry white brothers and sisters ,Breastfeeding is best everywhere anytime.
Lindiwe

vee 6/26/2009 7:43:17 AM
I am horrified @ the ignorance and chauvinism of male and female south africans a life, get withe program south africans (and i wish every person had to experience breast feeding)

Just M 6/26/2009 7:43:37 AM
So if I feel like lighting up, I should just do it, because who cares if I make you uncomfortable. I'm obviously the most important person in the resturant and if I feel like smoking, well then you can just pay your bill and leave! Is that what you are saying. Consideration goes both ways my dear.

Etienne 6/26/2009 7:44:34 AM
i think breast feeding is the most beautifull natural thing that can happen. i recently had a baby and oh,man does the little one love the boob. I do think a person should cover up if possible when breastfeeding in public, otherwise eyes will follow you the whole time. i do think to flang your boob around for everyone to see is not on but when i think of how happy my little on is when it is feeding on the boob it only brings happy thoughts. so when i see some breastfeeding in public (covered up) i can just imagine how happy the little one is. I think all the narrow minded people must get their head out the gutter. Go public (covered up) breastfeeding.

Piet 6/26/2009 7:48:46 AM
If you have to breastfeed your child in public, do it somewhere where there is less people and not in a place where people eat. Come on, I don't wanna see someones breast hanging out with the little one eating. And no, it does not turn me on, it's just that exposing yourself in public is not on. Yes the breast is a lump of flesh, but over the years, more emphasis was put on it with a sexual connotation. So when a little kid sees it, he will see it as a sexual object, rather than a "natural" thing. Feed your baby before you go to town, or leave the kid at home with family.

Jimmy Jackpot 6/26/2009 7:57:05 AM
You might as well ask why women cannot walk around town topless. It is the accepted social norm for woman to cover up their boobs and genitals, and for men to cover their genitals when appearing in public. On the beach even the tiny bikini consists of cover for your boobs. You cannot say it is just a lump of flesh, because so is my penis and so is your vagina. Keep your boobs to yourself

Lee 6/26/2009 8:13:12 AM
Geez, what happened to modesty and respect for others who actually don't want to see boobs in public. You can't deny the fact that breasts are still a part of the sexual process and be it for that reason then, keep your breast in your bra and feed your baby in private. My goodness, that this should even be a topic up for discussion is beyond me. We live in a world pervaded by sexual monsters and yet you still believe that it is natural, good and proper to haul your boobs out in a restaurant. Ag nee, that's disgusting.

Stef 6/26/2009 8:40:20 AM
I breastfed my daughter until she was 1. I very rarely HAD to feed her in a public setting but if I did have to I made very sure that I did this as discreetly as possible.Not because I think there is anything wrong with it but because you have to respect the fact that many other people may feel uncomfortable, rightly or wrongly, who am I to judge them for how they feel. I always made sure I was wearing a shirt and a bra that made bf in public easy and would help "disguise" what I was doing. By the time my daughter was 8 months old I had long since started giving her breastmilk in a bottle if we were going out.What I don't understand about this incident, if my child had burnt her hand in a cup of coffee and was so unsettled that she needed to be breastfed to calm down, I would have left the table and gone to the room provided (and from what I understand the restaurant had a room for just that purpose).I was always very careful that my daughter shouldn't be a nuisance to others because I felt that she was my responsibility.To me it sounds like this is more what the incident was about.The child wasn't hungry,she was unhappy.Clearly her mother didn't want to interupt her socialising by getting up and dealing with the child by calming her down away from the table.If you are in your own home, that is your right but in a restaurant that just shows a lack of consideration for other people.Having said that, you do get some boneheads who, no matter how well you cover up seem to think they have the right to harrass you for feeding your child.I don't flaunt it so why don't you mind your own business and btw, there is nothing "primative" about breastfeeding.Breastmilk has certain fatty acids that get deposited in the brain that scientists have still been unable to duplicate for formula milk.I believe people have the choice but that if you can,breast is best.

@CTheB - You muppet 6/26/2009 10:04:17 AM
You know what's really offensive when done in public? You, writing crap on this forum. I mean, who wants to read some idiot, wandering off-topic, spewing their arsehole opinions that have nothing to do with the topic we're debating.
If you're going to switch on your PC and read news24 and know that you're going to make a cretinous comment, rather try to control yourself. Twerp.

Craig 6/26/2009 10:15:54 AM
This is absolute nonsense, allowing a child to go hungry because some dirty old man or jealous fat ugly cow cannot keep their filthy eyes of the mothers tits.
Breast feeding is a natural act, it is a bond between mother and child, why ban it, those who feel its filthy or pornagraphic, shouldn't look, its that simple, oh and if you start getting horny and all worked up watching a mother feeding a baby then you should see a doctor, there are operations for people like you.
Who's values are right those for or those against, what about the childs need for nourishment, are they ignored because somebody put a value on breastfeeding in public, utter nonsense.
Breastfeeding only becomes a public display when filthy minded members of the public turn it into one, like has been done in this case.
We are not discussing the mothers bodily function here but the childs and the child needs feeding, therefore you feed the child, not in a filthy toilet or scorching hot stuffy car or room, if you can eat in a restaurant theres no reason the baby can't.
The restaurant should be boycotted.

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