Painfully PC

2007-11-20 09:40

Christ Moerdyk

There's a new law in Australia that forbids Father Christmasses to say "ho-ho-ho" not only because it scares children but also because the word "ho" in America means prostitute.

So, now all those street corner Santa's and their counterparts in-store have to say "Ha-ha-ha" instead or find themselves behind bars.

Now, isn't this political correctness getting totally out of control?

I'm convinced that maybe one in every 20 million kids might well be scared by a Father Christmas going "ho-ho-ho" but the odds are that this kid is scared of everything from his teddy bear to his budgie. And probably has nightmares for weeks if he hears his Dachshund break wind.

Frankly, this is political correctness gone crazy. Once again, it's that tiny minority of paranoid parents imposing their will on the rest of us.

Ludicrous words

Those same people, probably, who decided that calling the female help in a restaurant a "waitress" was demeaning to women and immediately invented that ludicrous word "waitron" which has no right whatsoever to be in the English a language.

And what about our education authorities who decided that there were no such things as pupils anymore just "learners"? Now, I have never understood that change. What on earth is wrong with the word "pupils"? At least "pupil" has an intellectual ring about it while "learner" just smacks of an IQ no higher than a neutered newt.

"Chairman" has become "chairperson," "manhole" covers became "people hole" covers" and so the list goes on and on. I am suprised that ex-President Mandela has managed to hang onto his name and avoided being called "Mr Persondela"

Like Great Whites becoming "person-eating" sharks and managers in the business world having to be called "personages."

I have even heard someone refer to horse manure as "person-manure." I argued that as that stuff was produced by a horse and not a person, it couldn't be called "person-manure" quite apart from which did she not think that the "man" in manure was also politically incorrect?

So, she decided on calling it "person-personure" and would not for a minute consider how stupid that sounded. I decided to give up the unequal battle and go and talk to someone a bit more intelligent and starting having an animated conversation with a nearby spaniel.

Advertisers shy away

In the big cities in the USA and UK this festive season, a lot of advertisers are shying away from splashing "Merry Christmas" across their newspaper and TV ads for fear of upsetting anyone who might not believe in Christmas.

Instead they're taking a politically correct approach and wishing their customers "Happy Holidays."

And I'm not the only one who thinks this is all a lot of rubbish. Diana Trent in the TV sitcom Waiting for God once remarked : "Political correctness is about as morally uplifting as the hula hoop.."

Frankly, I'm getting fed up with everybody walking on eggshells and watching their Ps and Qs with such fanaticism. Why can't we just get back to the good old days of speaking our minds? And talking about speaking our minds, being forced by a minority of people in this country to think carefully before we speak has surely got to be completely unconstitutional.

After all, freedom of speech is all about being free to speak our minds. Except for hate-speak of course.

But, calling a learner a pupil and a female waitron a waitress and an opening in the street a manhole can hardly be called hate-speak, for heaven's sake?

My New Year's resolution is to wage a battle against political correctness even if I have to do it entirely on my own.

Send your comments to Chris.

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