Are you in an abusive relationship?

By Drum Digital
10 March 2015

If you suspect that you are in an abusive relationship then you should ask yourself a few questions.

In the wake of Nkululeko “Flabba” Habedi's tragic death, questions are being asked about the scale of domestic abuse in our country.

Experts say it is important for people to look out for warning signs.

According to Minnesota-based domestic and sexual violence safe house Alexandra House, domestic violence is “the use or threat of physical, sexual, or verbal behaviour to coerce a partner to do something in order to maintain power and control in a relationship".

The organisation has also outlined a few questions a partner should ask themselves if they suspect that they are involved in a rocky relationship.

If you answer yes to any of these questions, you could be in an abusive relationship or are in danger of becoming a victim in future.

  • Is your partner is jealous of the time you spend with friends, family or co-workers?
  • Does your partner forbid or limit your time spent with friends, family or co-workers?
  • Does your partner constantly criticize and belittle things that you do or say?
  • Does your partner say cruel and hurtful things to you, or make fun of you in front of others?
  • Is your partner cruel to animals and/or people, and does he/she seem to enjoy or be insensitive to their emotional or physical pain and suffering?
  • Does your partner tell you how to spend your money or control the amount of money you have?
  • Does your partner interfere with your ability to be at work on time or at all and/or harass you at work?
  • Are you sometimes afraid of your partner and what he/she might do?
  • Does your partner break objects, throw objects at you or your children, or damage property?
  • Does your partner threaten to harm you, your children, family or friends?
  • Does your partner cause you or your children physical pain and/or injury?
  • Does your partner use force, hold or throw you down or demand sex regardless of how you feel?

This not based according to gender, abuse has no limitations.

Call any of these hotlines to seek assistance if you are in an abusive relationship or suspect that it could go in that direction.

Stop Gender Violence: 0800-150-150

People Opposed to Woman Abuse (POWA): 083 765 1235

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