Are you ready to leave your marriage?

By Drum Digital
04 August 2014

Ten questions you can ask yourself to help clarify whether or not your relationship, albeit imperfect, is worth a good go:

1 Are you exaggerating the negatives? Like Patty says in "Why Did I Get Married?" consider keeping note of the pros and cons in the relationship, write them down.

2 Have you already left the marriage by emotionally withdrawing?  Have you already given up? Consider re-engaging and see if that changes anything in the relationship.

Has your fighting become unhealthy, toxic even? Consider why you're staying. Is it because you really think you can make it work or because you're afraid of being alone?

4 Are the changes you need your partner crucial to making the wedding work or just your personal projections on him/her?

5 Have you been silently collecting issues to be upset about and not communicating? Consider openly saying what your expectations are, you can't be upset at them for not reading your mind.

6 Do you find each other fun? Are you able to enjoy each other's company in your marriage?

7 Are there conflicts you have always avoided having? These could be the source of the underlying tension at this stage in your marriage.

8 Do you need a minute to yourself? The need for space can sometimes be confused with the need to leave altogether.

9 Has something occurred – a death, a big birthday, a job loss – that’s throwing off your relationship and needs to be addressed?

10 Have you done everything you possibly can to make this marriage work? Are you certain he has heard your complaints? Have you tried a marriage class or couples therapy? If he/she won’t go to counseling, have you gone yourself to see how you might save the relationship?

-OPRAH.COM

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