Ask Sis Doll: Is he ashamed of me?

By Drum Digital
27 June 2014

He doesn't want to marry me says Thabzo - she asks Sis Dolly

Thabzo asks: My boyfriend and I have been together for six years and in all that time he has never introduced me to his family. He says he loves me and has assured me that he doesn’t have children from previous relationships but he can’t take the step and introduce me to his family.

I thought he was the man for me and that we’d get married one day but now I am losing hope. I’m 35 and he is 40, so we’re not getting any younger. What must I do?

Sis Dolly answers:  If you are already living together then maybe life is just too easy for him and he doesn’t have to stick his neck out and commit to marriage. He also doesn’t have to worry about finding the money for lobola.

But we’re just guessing here: why don’t you ask him what is going on? Explain to him that you’ve been waiting for many years for him to make an honest woman out of you and ask you for your hand in marriage. Tell him you’re upset and disappointed that it has taken him so long and ask him what the problem is.

Before you ask him, though, be clear in your mind what you’re going to do if he says he’s happy living together and has no intention of getting married – for whatever reason. Are you going to stay with him or are you going to leave so that you can find a new man who will honour you by making you his bride?

Think these things through and figure out what is more important to you.

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