Ask sis Dolly: Does he want us?

By Drum Digital
30 June 2015

He's leaving us to stay with his friend.

The father of my child paid lobolo for me and bought two houses while we lived at my mother's place. He got his friends to stay in the houses while they were being renovated for us. Now, the houses are complete but he says he's leaving us to stay with his friend and he'll buy us a house next year. I'm not sure if he wants us any more.

Sis Dolly answers

I don't see how his friend fits into this arrangement and why he's postponing living with you and the child. I suggest you get your own place. The possible complication could be his lobolo payment and what right he subsequently thinks he has over where you can or cannot live- with or without him. Try to keep the peace as far as possible, while being absolutely clear about what you want for you and your child. For more information on your rights within a customary marriage and its validity, contact the Department of Home Affairs on 0800 601 190.

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